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Divorce & Starting Over Divorce & Starting Over

Is Everyone Taking Care of Themselves?

Posted by on Dec. 29, 2011 at 2:02 PM
  • 13 Replies
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I find it hard to make necessary repairs on the house or Drs appts we need b/c of barely getting by financially.  BUT i remember another poster in another group who would come online and remind us to pamper ourselves in some way every day.  I hope everyone has a good, long weekend and finds joy in some aspect of their lives.  I have playdate plans and a reunion among old friends on FB set up.  We are making mutually agreed upon plans with the kids dad twd the end of the weekend.  We have ice skating set up, too, at an open rink.  I am going to take care of my surroundings and make the house all cozy and....just keep on truckin.   Im gonna see how proactive I can be and what all I can accomplish.  Sometimes i just take-- a walk and bask in the cool, fresh air -- i love the peacefulness. and then I feel like I am exactly where i should be.  its the greatest feeling ever...and so important to live in the moment!!!  If i worried about everything, even in the present, i would have a nervous breakdown. i let my stbx's stuff be HIS.  i only own what is mine to. and i allow myself to be happy. the kids learn that too.

by on Dec. 29, 2011 at 2:02 PM
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4MySon36
by on Dec. 29, 2011 at 10:40 PM
Thanks for sharing GraLaujon, im feeling really down on myself today! I want to cry but ive been blocking those emotions for so long im lost on how to do it. Im trying to find my solid foundation and its hard because ive become this overweight, insecure, emotionally shut down person! I use to feel so good about myself and where I was headed in life and now I dont know my front from my end, or what my true favorite color is! Im hoping to one day take care of my self as you do, so thanks for the encouragement
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GraLauJon
by on Dec. 30, 2011 at 12:14 AM


Quoting 4MySon36:

Thanks for sharing GraLaujon, im feeling really down on myself today! I want to cry but ive been blocking those emotions for so long im lost on how to do it. Im trying to find my solid foundation and its hard because ive become this overweight, insecure, emotionally shut down person! I use to feel so good about myself and where I was headed in life and now I dont know my front from my end, or what my true favorite color is! Im hoping to one day take care of my self as you do, so thanks for the encouragement

aww. sweetie. dont let me fool you!  i need to lose 100 lbs from being in a very abusive relationship myself. all i am saying is that, even though i am where you have been, i am ready to start treating myself better.  just like you are saying!  i finally feel like i deserve it.  i didnt before.  it is hard. but my family members have died or have moved far away. all i have had to rely on is myself. and when you are left to look at yourself, alone, its like wow.  i never realized i need to be my own best friend, yanno?  it is easy to make friends with other ppl and to cater to others b/c that is what women and moms and aunties do, right?  but we are just as deserving as the next person to be able to lead a quality life. and we are supposed to be able to give that to ourselves.  I was thinking of joining Weight Watchers in Jan, just to make myself accountable and to give myself a routine.   hang in there.  i say find one thing you wanna work on and then concentrate on that. PM me any time.   xo

cara124
by Cara on Dec. 30, 2011 at 1:01 PM
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i realized in this past year the kids are all growing up and going to leaving the nest soon and i needed to make ME a center stage in MY life .... so thats what this up coming ( 2012 ) year is going to be about ! ME ! ..... so my goal for this coming year are going to be simple but about ME !

ljp64
by on Dec. 30, 2011 at 5:19 PM

 I have my days where all I want to do is sleep and when I wake up, everything is perfect..LOL...I feel myself getting depressed again but I refuse to give into it. I do little things to make me feel better.

I watch a movie that I enjoy, I drink a cup of really great coffee ( thanks to my keurig from my mom )..I have started to wear make up again, nothing heavy, just a little powder, lip gloss and mascrara.. It makes me feel better about myself.

 I sometimes feel so alone and down because I am always taking care of others and never really take care of myself...I am finding out that I do matter and if I can take a negative and turn into a positive, I usually have a better day and week.

There are some days i get so tire of being a strong independant woman, that i wish I could  be a sahm again. Then i snap back to reality and know that I really am not teh sahm type..LOl...I have a type A personality and finally admitted to myself that i do.

I have also decided that 2012 is MY YEAR!..I am going to concenstrate on ME...I am going to get into better shape and get healtheir, eat what I enjoy eating, exercise the way I enjoy.

Whenever I start to feel really down and depressed and blue, all I have to do is think about someone that has it worse than I do. That usually brings me back up to were I am grateful and thankful for what I do have.

So ladies, take at least 10- mins a day to do something nice for yourself. Remember my sayings. I know I can JUST KEEP LIVN and LIVESTRONG!!!...I have to say thiese at least once a day..

So here's to US!!!! I KNOW WE CAN JUST KEEP LIVIN AND LIVESTRONG!!

GraLauJon
by on Dec. 31, 2011 at 10:30 AM


Quoting cara124:

i realized in this past year the kids are all growing up and going to leaving the nest soon and i needed to make ME a center stage in MY life .... so thats what this up coming ( 2012 ) year is going to be about ! ME ! ..... so my goal for this coming year are going to be simple but about ME !

I realized that too!  my son will be applying to colleges in the fall!!  I have two dd's and the youngest is still 9, but i was raised to cater to everyone else. i am in my mid-40s and realizing that i have a life too.  i am a human being just like everyone else and so i get to design it and be happy as much as anyone else does.  it is hard breaking out of that shell and erasing the old tapes in my head.  but as i see myself teaching my kids those valuable life lessons, i realize i am included in that!    My son even said - as he saw me stressing out over my H's ploys in filing for divorce, "i just want my old mom back."  I allowed all the garbage my trashman of an H my stbx is to really try and take me down.  i think i was in shock that another human being would do that so it took me awhile to get my bearings and crawl out from the smothering my H was putting me thru to see that I am worth more than whatever value HE puts on me!

easinpc
by Silver Member on Jan. 1, 2012 at 5:17 PM
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Last night I made it a me night after my date got cancelled.  I took a hot bubble bath with some music on and candles lit and than curled up on the couch with a good book that I've been wanting to read again and just enjoyed the night. 

Its important for us to do that from time to time to recharge our inner batteries!

ljp64
by on Jan. 1, 2012 at 7:16 PM

 Well this afternoon, I took care of me for a while. I put on some music I love, danced around the house as I cleaned. Had a long warm bubble bath, took a long nap and now I feel so much better.

Sometimes it is the little things that I enjoy doing for myself...I am going to start doing it more often..Heck the house can wait. It is not like dd and I live in a dump. Somethings in life are more important than a perfectly cleaned house..LOL.

nebraskamomto2
by on Jan. 2, 2012 at 11:34 AM
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 I agree, focus on yourselves and what makes you happy! Or what used to!  I came from a controlling, emotionally abusive marriage and I finally realized I was the only one that could change the situation or make myself happy again.  18 months after I made the decision to be happy and take care of myself....I've lost 60 lbs and am in the best shape of my life! I now do my hair again, feel beautiful again, make my favorite foods, have a glass of wine whenever I want, and watch my favorite tv shows whenever I want!  I do a lot of my favorite little things too, like light candles and have made my home comfy and cozy for me and my kiddos.  Sometimes it can feel like without Dad in the house, the "family" isn't complete.  But I work hard to make our home feel like home. Even just painting to warm up the living room or letting your kids choose how to decorate their room can help them feel at ease. 

Montreatgrad
by on Jan. 2, 2012 at 11:44 AM

 You are not alone!!!  I'm struggling with these same issues.  I can't figure out how to build a life for me as a single woman.  Just don't know where to start.

Quoting 4MySon36:

Thanks for sharing GraLaujon, im feeling really down on myself today! I want to cry but ive been blocking those emotions for so long im lost on how to do it. Im trying to find my solid foundation and its hard because ive become this overweight, insecure, emotionally shut down person! I use to feel so good about myself and where I was headed in life and now I dont know my front from my end, or what my true favorite color is! Im hoping to one day take care of my self as you do, so thanks for the encouragement

 

cara124
by Cara on Jan. 2, 2012 at 3:16 PM

sounds good ladies keep up the YOU focus for 2012 and we can help each other get thur this year feeling great about who we are as WOMEN !

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