How long did it take for your separation/divorce to feel real?
I have been separated from my husband for 2 months. He left after telling me he had cheated on me when I was pregnant and again after that. I still just can't believe that this is happening to me. How long did it take for you to really come to grips with the fact that your marriage was over? We had been together for 16 years and married for 5. We have been through so much together - financial issues, infertility, IVF, a serious car accident where my husband broke his neck. I can not believe that after all of that he is basically telling me "I'm done. I don't want to deal with this relationship any more." When will I come out of this fog and accept that this is really happening?
It took me about 5 months to really feel like the fog had cleared. Acceptance is a whole other thing. I've been separated for 11 months and can file for divorce on March 12th but there are times that I still can't believe that it's happening. We were married for 20 years when he walked out on me and our 2 teenagers. There is a great Sara Evans song that helped me through the very early days. I hope it will help you too!
I filed for the divorce...so as soon as the divorce papers were sent to me from my attorney! We had been married since 2001 but together since 1999. I said good ridence!!! Where's that bottle of Don!
I know that one day, the fog coated with sadness will seem a little bit lighter. It was nine months ago that my husband of 30+ years told me that "he meet and had strong feelings for another woman" (of course younger!) It is an emotional trauma that we go through when a partner tells you that your "forever" has justed been stopped! It was about six months into the seperation when I started to feel and think, ok, I will live, and I will strive to be better and more successful at my life then before. People who have gone through this have said it takes about a year. I am going through the divorce process which I feel keeps you in the "highs" and "lows" of life. It is a personal journey that you are on right now, but you are the driver. Get on the high road and put on those fogs lights! Take care of yourself. Keep faith alive every minute in your day. Eat well. Excercise. Breathe slowly. If you need to see a counselor, do it. You will see the light through the fog. Good luck and God Bless.
Me too. It's been over 9 months since mine packed up and left while DD and I were away for 3 days. It was sort of expected ss we'd had a big row but still. We hadn't talked it through. Sometimes when I'm out I get what I guess are anxiety attacks. I just feel really light-headed or more like the carpet has been pulled from under me, and think, omg I'm SEPARATED! It's just so unbelievable still. Then after a few mins it passes. As my dad says, just put one foot in front of the other, day by day. And count your blessings you have a roof over your head and food on the table. I also signed up for keep-fit classes at the local gym. Look after yourself. So many people said to me I look so much better since he left! I should spend much LESS time looking at sites like this though! And googling stuff about my husband's disorder as I perceive it, but that's what I've been doing with my time. This group and others have been wonderful supports also.
sick of the insanity!
When do you consider the anniversary of your divorce?
- Judith753
on Feb. 11, 2012 at 8:44 PM