Im having an attitude problem today. I am disgusted with gas prices going up and knowing i dont have enough money to live on. I just paid $70 to fill up my tank. I am looking into applying for disability but I may not qualify if i dont have enough "points" accrued from when i did have jobs in the past. I cant pay for all the copays and deductibles on the kids' ins to get even a regular teeth cleaning or a new Rx for glasses for my dd, etc. Stbx pays the premiums and said he would pay the balances, but if i cant do my part of it then they cant get medical attn at all. I have been sick all week with a cold and since i got vertigo last year it seems like whenever i get fluid in my head i get another bout of it. I have to drive my son back and forth to school 4x/day now but my son's college prof keeps flaking on class, which means i waste time, energy and $. I havent slept. I havent showered. I havent done housework and i know i am depressed. I feel stuck being nowhere really at all. I have no relatives to lean on. i have spent the past several years training for one thing after another and then getting turned down for jobs. the GAL and attys told me i HAD to get a job. really? yah, that's worked out really well, i homeschool my 2 girls and when i put my 1 dd into public school she got beat up but the principal refused to do anything about it. to top it off, my stbx told me he could help out more but he wont if i dont agree to write up final papers stating that he gets more time with the kids that he doesnt even take...but all for the sake of not forcing him to help out more...but to him, "thats just on paper." i am so sick of running in circles. why waste any more of myself on this?! i am so stressed out i dont even know what to do anymore.