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Church sermon I needed to hear

Posted by on Mar. 4, 2012 at 9:07 PM
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Today the Lord was really talking to me through the pastor. Because it's lent, he asked us what we are giving up...some give up chocolate, milk shakes, gossip, etc. He asked "is there anything in your life that is interfering with your walk with God?" I had to admit, I've got lots of baggage, resentment, anger, jealousy, betrayal....all of those are in the way. Those are robbing my joy. I am trying to make a conscious effort to let it all go...not think on it any more. It will be a daily, moment by moment prayer.
by on Mar. 4, 2012 at 9:07 PM
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mmtosam06
by on Mar. 4, 2012 at 10:31 PM
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GraLauJon
by on Mar. 5, 2012 at 12:24 AM
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we had a great talk today at our meeting. it was about not holding grudges and the speaker brought out the scripture that said anyone hating his brother is considered to be a murderer in God's eyes.  It brought flashbacks of all the times my H/stbx screamed at me and has told me how much he hates me. i came home to find a nasty, hostile, accusatory email from my stbx.  the good part?  I felt really calm thru it.

You can let that all go.  Dont make room for it in your life. dont make space for it in your head.  i think it is easier than we make it out to be.  letting go means not dwelling on it. just keep busy living in the moment and you will feel so much better.  i have gone thru the same and i totally understand.  but it can be sloughed off. and it can mean our health and sanity... i find that i am so much more productive without having to deal or dwell on him

Akeso
by Bronze Member on Mar. 5, 2012 at 5:06 AM
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Gra sorry about your letter. Didn't you just have lunch together?

As for the sermons, yes they say to answer meanness with kindness and if there is anyone you're at odds with to make it up as soon as possible and not let it fester. Ideally, right! I try and ask myself what I tell my DD. Is Jesus smiling or frowning at what you're doing?!

The sermon yesterday was about Lot and how he wanted to be both a part of, yet outside the town of Sodom. The angels came and allowed him and his family to live and leave Sodom, but told them not to look back (at the destruction) or they would be destroyed. Lot's wife turned into a pillar of salt for looking back. The point of that was, we cannot try to be both of this world and God's. We have to choose and go all the way. So I take that to mean in my life, to stop trying to get back what I had because it wasn't good for us (me and DD). And this is God's plan for us. I think! I'm still trying sometimes! LOL. Love your strength too, Lovingmyland. 

redpatz
by on Mar. 5, 2012 at 6:13 AM
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Same here.. same resentments, making a concious effort to let it go, it is a "daily, moment by moment prayer". It's hard to maintain sometimes, but I have to do it. Otherwise I'd be sad or angry all the time; and why waste my life feeling that way over an ex who doesn't care for me anymore? If I'm happy, I win. Being bitter over something done & gone never makes anyone happy. *Hugs* to u, Momma. God bless u.
Lovingmyland
by on Mar. 5, 2012 at 8:59 AM


Quoting GraLauJon:

we had a great talk today at our meeting. it was about not holding grudges and the speaker brought out the scripture that said anyone hating his brother is considered to be a murderer in God's eyes.  It brought flashbacks of all the times my H/stbx screamed at me and has told me how much he hates me. i came home to find a nasty, hostile, accusatory email from my stbx.  the good part?  I felt really calm thru it.

You can let that all go.  Dont make room for it in your life. dont make space for it in your head.  i think it is easier than we make it out to be.  letting go means not dwelling on it. just keep busy living in the moment and you will feel so much better.  i have gone thru the same and i totally understand.  but it can be sloughed off. and it can mean our health and sanity... i find that i am so much more productive without having to deal or dwell on him

I am so sorry to hear about your email from stbx.  That's just not right.  :-(    You are exactly right!  When we get productive and surround ourselves with people who REALLY love us, make us feel good about just being us, it lightens the load and helps us let go.  Not saying that what happened to us is "ok", but to allow ourselves to accept it and move up to something better.  Hang in there and take it one day at a time.  We are all here for you  :-)

newbie1198
by Bronze Member on Mar. 5, 2012 at 9:49 AM
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 I'm praying the same prayer sister.  Everyday I keep asking God to help me let go.  My ex's affair has robbed me and the kids of so much, and the happily ever after I dreamed of with him will never be.  I am sooooo ANGRY with him, the fact the one person I trusted more than anyone in the world BETRAYED me, is so hard to get over.  I'm jealous because he so easily replaced me.  And I RESENT the fact that he's off living the good life with his mistress, and the kids and I are left trying to pick up the pieces and make a new life that we never ask for.

Lovingmyland
by on Mar. 5, 2012 at 9:58 AM


Quoting newbie1198:

 I'm praying the same prayer sister.  Everyday I keep asking God to help me let go.  My ex's affair has robbed me and the kids of so much, and the happily ever after I dreamed of with him will never be.  I am sooooo ANGRY with him, the fact the one person I trusted more than anyone in the world BETRAYED me, is so hard to get over.  I'm jealous because he so easily replaced me.  And I RESENT the fact that he's off living the good life with his mistress, and the kids and I are left trying to pick up the pieces and make a new life that we never ask for.

I know exactly what you mean about "being easily replaced and trying to pick up the pieces of your life".  It's not easy and it's not fair. 

GraLauJon
by on Mar. 5, 2012 at 1:28 PM

I dont even feel angry. i told my stbx at our lunch the other day that i feel hurt.  that is different.  he keeps telling me how angry i am while he is cussing me out. lol. I guess its more obvious in my situation.

When i was growing up i wasnt even allowed to say the word, "hate" b/c it was a 4-letter word. lol.  i couldnt even say "I hate cooked carrots."  So when my stbx is raging in my face i just let it roll off my back. that, though, has made me very accomodating of abuse, and that is where i need to focus on accepting love in my life more and ruling out abuse altogether.  i dont need to deal with someone else's anguish projected twd me.  and i told my stbx that in a return email. now he is trying to barter with me so we can still stay together..while he tells me to get therapy and change myself in order to be with him. ha ha ha.

he knows when i have hit a wall.  that is how i know he really does get it.  his addiction to control is his downfall. and he has helped me see how much i need to really work on myself and become the person i really want to be.  I hope everyone works out what they need to in their own right.   xo

Akeso
by Bronze Member on Mar. 5, 2012 at 1:48 PM

Yes Gra, it's the hurt. Mine does it on purpose. He knows how much I'm hurting and keeps doing it. So to keep my old self I have to keep hurting, or change and try and put on a skin of steel (armor) to deflect it. I still hope he will change but when he watched me slip twice out on a walk and said nothing, and watched me fall and then said "you okay" after, not watch out before, and said that just because his friends were in earshot, and so many other things, I have to face facts. He is "scrub" as TLC put so well in that song. It's just so hard to accept that you have been rejected as a human being. But I guess this is normal. I mean it's happened forever and to everyone. I even read on omg for celebrities, they call them "starter wives"? How cynical. And cruel. It means we should expect to get used up and spit out? They're so shallow it's unbelievable. Looking ahead, moving on. In peace.

GraLauJon
by on Mar. 5, 2012 at 1:54 PM


Quoting Akeso:

Yes Gra, it's the hurt. Mine does it on purpose. He knows how much I'm hurting and keeps doing it. So to keep my old self I have to keep hurting, or change and try and put on a skin of steel (armor) to deflect it. I still hope he will change but when he watched me slip twice out on a walk and said nothing, and watched me fall and then said "you okay" after, not watch out before, and said that just because his friends were in earshot, and so many other things, I have to face facts. He is "scrub" as TLC put so well in that song. It's just so hard to accept that you have been rejected as a human being. But I guess this is normal. I mean it's happened forever and to everyone. I even read on omg for celebrities, they call them "starter wives"? How cynical. And cruel. It means we should expect to get used up and spit out? They're so shallow it's unbelievable. Looking ahead, moving on. In peace.

yes, my stbx was laffin and calling me his "starter wife" b/c that is the popular term to use now.  and yes, being rejected is sooo hard. but you are right. it happens all the time. since this was a spiritual post, i think it is pertinent to point out that even God has been rejected many times by humans where he has had to start over again with his plans for us on this earth.  Hang in there, and i know what you mean about our feelings and how to handle them. i have shoved mine down with food. very unhealthy.  we just need to replace the bad habits with good ones.  and the adjustmen i am making re: my feelings is to let myself feel them and deal with them...just not in front of the stbx - b/c that is what fuels him. I have chosen not to be an audience member in the show he keeps putting on.  I am walking out of there.  and good for me. its time to get out and see the sun shine again.

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