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Divorce & Starting Over Divorce & Starting Over

So much for reasonable accomodations!

Posted by on Apr. 25, 2012 at 7:40 AM
  • 10 Replies

 Okay- just throwing this out here. When I went to pick the kids up Sunday from their dad I asked when his next day off was (his work week starts on Mondays & as of 9pm Sunday I still didn't know what his days off were for the coming week). He told me "tomorrow" (meaning Monday) & I asked if he was going to get the kids. His exact words were "No, I have too much to get done tomorrow." That's nice- oh & BTW thanks for saying that infront of hte 16 year old who you pretty much YELLED at several months ago because he hung out with his friends instead of spending the day with you- who fell asleep on the couch. But anyway-

So now we are 3 days into the work week & I still don't know his other day off. Our agreement is that I make reasonable accomodations for his work schedule. But that means he has to tell me his days off right??? So I am thinking of having a girlfriend & her kids over either tomorrow or Friday. If I find out he has the day off should I cancel my plans? Or should I tell him he didn't give me his days off so I made plans?

by on Apr. 25, 2012 at 7:40 AM
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Replies (1-10):
zebra556
by Member on Apr. 25, 2012 at 7:53 AM
He didn't give you his days off so you made plans.
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zebra556
by Member on Apr. 25, 2012 at 7:53 AM
He didn't give you his days off so you made plans.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
wildflower1980
by on Apr. 25, 2012 at 7:58 AM
Email or text him asking again when his days off are so you have it in writing that you asked and are attempting to follow the orders of the court. If you don't get a response, make plans. He should be communicating with you if he wants your cooperation.
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tottaxi
by Gold Member on Apr. 25, 2012 at 2:36 PM

Do you even have a court order?  Or is this just a verbal agreement between the two of you.  Sorry, I get confused :)

Wafah
by on Apr. 25, 2012 at 5:30 PM
I agree that you should email him and ask once more. If he doesn't cooperate or respond, make plans. He isn't a child, you can't keep running behind him for simple issues.
LuvLiddy
by Member on Apr. 25, 2012 at 6:33 PM
Is there any way you can change your court papers to say he must give you 24-36 hours notice? Mine has 48 hours notice or he automatically forfeits his visit.
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Jenniy
by on Apr. 25, 2012 at 7:36 PM

This

Quoting zebra556:

He didn't give you his days off so you made plans.


CampClan
by Bronze Member on Apr. 26, 2012 at 7:11 AM

 

Quoting tottaxi:

Do you even have a court order?  Or is this just a verbal agreement between the two of you.  Sorry, I get confused :)

 Ours states Local Rule except to make reasonable accomodations for father's work schedule.

I made plans to get together with a girlfriend & her 2 kids at work either Thursday or Friday. We hadn't really agreed on a night yet, but we both were figuring Friday so we could let the kids eat & watch a movie. Well EX text me last night & says he is going to pick the boys up from daycare/school & meet the girls at the house then take them all to his house. I text back saying "I guess my plans get changed then." He calls me & asks what plans, so I tell him & he said to NOT change them, that he understands he didn't tell me his schedule but he would like to spend time with them & he will bring them home when I need them home. He said he has been trying to get his general manager to make his schedule in advance but he (GM) doesn't always do it & sometimes he doesn't even know his days off for the week til he goes in that week. Like this week he knew he had the weekend off plus Monday. He just didn't know the rest of the week til he went in Tuesday. And he said his GM is trying to give him EOWE but sometimes it's hard because of the stores needs. So far since we filed back in Feb he has had a total of 3 or 4 weekends.

But he did mention he wants to sit down with me & discuss things like how we are going to work out the summer schedule & all. So some progress is being made. And then our 2 year old realized I was talking to his daddy so I had to hand the phone over! lol

Caleighsmommy
by on Apr. 27, 2012 at 12:21 PM

 no it sounds like you are trying and is the one who doesnt give enough of a fuck to bother calling and saying hey i have this day off and id like to see the kids....if in fact you have already made plans for that day and he calls you with less than 48 hour notice...id say oh thats great now go fuck off.....I would ask what day the mamager makes the schedule and tell him that he has ______ hours to inform you what day he will have off. its his responsiblity to tell you asap so you CAN make accom. for him.....you arent the wife anymore and dont have to do everything for him.....eventually he will figure that out...well maybe....i know you want the kids to see their father but he has to put in some freakin effort too!!!!

also he should get his own van... lol

newbie1198
by Bronze Member on Apr. 27, 2012 at 1:06 PM

 My ex is not cooperative either.  Good Luck!

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