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Divorce & Starting Over Divorce & Starting Over

Do we split preschool costs?

Posted by on Apr. 30, 2012 at 2:24 PM
  • 9 Replies

I have been seperated from my ex-husband for a year and a half and divorced for 5 months now. We have 3 children together, a 5 year old son, 2 year old daught (will be 3 in a couple of months), and another son who will turn 1 on May 8th. Our oldest is in preschool now but it is free due to a state grant the shcool recieved as he attends public school. I am registering my daughter for early three year old preschool this fall just as I did with our son when he was that age. Her schooling through is $90 a month plus a $15 a month snack fee. My question is, is that $105 a month divided between me and her father or do I pay for it all considering I recieve child support? I have looked through our decree a million times and it doesnt say anything about splitting the costs of schooling or school activites or anything. Up until now I have been paying for everything they do such as swim lessons, school sports for my son, dance for my daughter...everything. I'm meeting with my lawyer on Friday but I wanted to do some research on it before then so I have something to go off. Thank you in advance!

by on Apr. 30, 2012 at 2:24 PM
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Replies (1-9):
tottaxi
by Gold Member on Apr. 30, 2012 at 2:39 PM

I think most people have it so that extra curriculars are split 50/50.  Some specify ec's that are AGREED to by both parents.  That is how mine is written.  So, naturally, stbx never agrees to any and I am paying for them 100%.  This is in our final agreement, so now I know how he plans to dodge any financial responsibility.  Live and Learn...you might learn from me :(

Preschool is NOT required schooling, so spitting those costs might be iffy.  Stbx did not want DS to go to preschool, but after voicing his opinion we had our trial and I received sole custody so I enrolled him anyway.  Stbx does pay half of the costs of tuition.  He has never paid for any other costs incurred during the school year.

You can make sure that the wording in your final agreement covers all of these situations (and more).  It is best if you can detail it as much as possible...even down to how much time the parent who does not have visitation can spend with the child after a school or sporting event.  The more detailed you can spell it out, the fewer grey areas there are to deal with later.  Try to think ahead as far as possible...like graduation from high school!  LOL!

Also, details are very important with establishing the holiday visitaion schedule.  BE SPECIFIC....consider the local school calendar when making your decisions as to school breaks and vacations.  Set the specific time of day for pick ups and drop offs.  Details are your friend!!!

chellenout
by on Apr. 30, 2012 at 5:16 PM

If it can be put in the decree, I say add it.  They are his children too and child support is not only for activites. I say split is fair.

chellenout
by on Apr. 30, 2012 at 5:30 PM


Quoting tottaxi:

I think most people have it so that extra curriculars are split 50/50.  Some specify ec's that are AGREED to by both parents.  That is how mine is written.  So, naturally, stbx never agrees to any and I am paying for them 100%.  This is in our final agreement, so now I know how he plans to dodge any financial responsibility.  Live and Learn...you might learn from me :(

Preschool is NOT required schooling, so spitting those costs might be iffy.  Stbx did not want DS to go to preschool, but after voicing his opinion we had our trial and I received sole custody so I enrolled him anyway.  Stbx does pay half of the costs of tuition.  He has never paid for any other costs incurred during the school year.  Not even field trips?  It got to a point where I asked kids if they wanted to ask their dad for field trip $ they could.  He usually did. 

You can make sure that the wording in your final agreement covers all of these situations (and more).  It is best if you can detail it as much as possible...even down to how much time the parent who does not have visitation can spend with the child after a school or sporting event.  The more detailed you can spell it out, the fewer grey areas there are to deal with later.  Try to think ahead as far as possible...like graduation from high school!  LOL!     Oh so so so true!

Also, details are very important with establishing the holiday visitaion schedule.  BE SPECIFIC....consider the local school calendar when making your decisions as to school breaks and vacations.  Set the specific time of day for pick ups and drop offs.  Details are your friend!!!

Army wife0614,  Tottaxi, has got it down pat.  Now if only the ex husbands could/ would abide to what is right and good for the kids!  But this is great advice.  I was also told to keep a copy of the divorce papers in my purse, car and keep extras handy just in case I needed proof of decree.  Yeah I know it sucks having a great day with the kids and then opening a zipper pocket in the purse and seeing it and getting blue, but it's backup!   


chellenout
by on Apr. 30, 2012 at 5:32 PM

PS, change your CM name.....it's all about you & you and YOU, & you only and YOU & your wee ones.  

RLSMOM59
by Silver Member on Apr. 30, 2012 at 5:55 PM

If this is not a mandatory school requirement than I think you are responsible for the cost. He is paying the support so you may have to take some of it to put towards the schooling.

tottaxi
by Gold Member on Apr. 30, 2012 at 7:20 PM

Chellenout is correct about keeping a copy of the court order on you at all times.  My mom, DS's caregiver, also does this.  I also provided a copy to DS's medical providers and his preschool.

Were you ever a Girl Scout?  Their motto is "Be Prepared".  That is also what custody is all about. CYA all the way!

momofamamasboy
by on May. 1, 2012 at 9:15 AM
When we came up with our child support agreement, daycare was calculated into as well as healthcare, mine income and his. So it's part of my child support. Check the child support worksheet, it may or may not be there
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sugarmomof3
by on May. 1, 2012 at 9:27 AM

 Most agreements state that any school costs(such as tuition & sometimes sports), and any medical costs not covered by insurance are to be split 50/50 between the parents.

miss_AP
by on May. 1, 2012 at 11:36 AM

 Well, often those things are worked into the parenting plan and child support agreement -- our state calculator takes into account who is paying tuition/daycare when it calculates the child support. They won't be in daycare/private school forever, but I am hoping to enter the amount due as a blanket amount so we don't have to redo the support order and parenting plan all the time. When we drop tuition for the older one, she will have more school activities and she will have school supplies...and as they both grow out of those costs their clothes will be bigger so more expensive, mroe school supplies, increased expense for school activities, and they will eat more! So I'm hoping to just have a blanket amount and leave it at that. We'll see, we are still arguing over CS.

The other way I've seen it done a lot is that all those extra expenses are split 50/50...you pay it all and he reimburses for half, or vice versa, or you both submit a check for 1/2.

If I were you, I would either modify the parenting plan now to accommodate changes in schooling, activities, etc. or maybe work out an agreement with your ex for the next ___ years until the kids are all school aged, or something, and then agree to modify the support order and PP.

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