Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Is it even possible anymore?

I have two friends that hooked me up with two different dates.  The first date was a while back.  He is six years older then me (a good age gap), retired from a good job, helps out a friend on construction jobs and also works with CBS holding cameras at various sporting events.  We went out on a date at his cousin's restaurant, drank a few glasses of wine and had a nice time.  I even met the cousin and got a free bottle of wine.  We ended up chatting and talking for five and a half hours.  I have not heard from him since the date. 

I have another friend that has a brother that is three years older than me.  He's been divorced (about two years) and has grown kids (23/25).  My friend hooked me up with her brother on Wednesday night.   I met her first at this place called Party In The Park.  Hundreds of people of all ages meet at this area near the Ohio River.  A live band plays and you simply talk and meet-up with friends.  About 15 minutes after we met her husband comes up with the brother I was to meet.  Well, the brother was okay looking and very quiet at first.  He started to chat with me after his sister walked away with her husband.  This was about an hour after we first met.  He talked about his kids, my daughter and what we did for a living.  We talked about our interests and more or less got to know each other.  I thought we had a nice time.  My friend came back about a half hour later with her husband.  She started to talk to me and her brother joined in along with several of her friends who showed up.  So, it was a good size group of about 8 people.  We all stood around and chatted.  Then it got late (9:30).  We all had to work the next day.  My friend said good-bye and gave me a big hug.  Her husband shook my hand goodbye and the guy I was with just stood there and said 'It was nice meeting you."  It was rather awkward for him not to want to walk me to my car as I was parked on the other side of the park.  Then we all three walked our separate ways.  I never heard back from my gal pal since Wednesday.  I haven't heard back from her brother.  Not sure what to think of what her brother thought of me.  My guess - he's just not ready to date or wasn't interested in me that much.  It kind of bothers me.  My gal pal said her brother was willing to meet me and we had a nice chat.  We even went off and got a pizza and some beer together.  I would just like some feedback but I'm not quite sure what to think right now.  I have not heard from her either. 

Well, I'm left still wanting to date.  I'm getting tired of being alone and finding things to do on Fri/Sat nights.  It's a good thing I have one gal pal to turn to.  We are headed out to the golf range and later on dinner at least for tonight.  I hate the idea of not knowing what I did to get this guy not interested in me.  Why did he agree to meet me then not going to follow-up with a call?  I know it's only two days since we met, but it's Friday afterall.  Perhaps he will call me tomorrow?  We had a nice time and I felt very comfortable with him.  He did seem kinda quiet and shy but then when his sister walked away he opened up. 

I'm just so bummed. 

What DO men want? 

by on Jun. 22, 2012 at 3:31 PM
Replies (11-15):
GraLauJon
by on Jun. 25, 2012 at 2:47 PM

if they dont call back then move on.  really. that is how guys handle it . i also have been coming out of DV (domestic violence) and so what are the topics you discuss with them?  if its deep and dark on the first date and complaints about the ex, etc i cannot see the other person being interested.  I dunno what you talked about.  its our attitutde we all pick up on in each other too.  how we view things, how we handle things.  what we project ourselves to be. are we bragging about ourselves?  do we have low self esteem?   you just have to find the right person for you.  give it some time.

bjane01
by Member on Jun. 25, 2012 at 3:01 PM
I think some of the best men are shy & maybe more humble. They may need a woman to display her interest more. I wouldn't chase a guy but I wouldn't let a month go by without showing an interest if I was interested. Then if he still remains silent move on...
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
RLSMOM59
by Silver Member on Jun. 25, 2012 at 3:03 PM

Who cares what the man wants, it's what YOU want. It's how you want to be treated. The guy I was dating has benn hurt by so many ofhter females that i did something that really pissed him off or reminded him of the past that we broke up. We are on good terms but until he gets over the hurt from others, this will be a pattern for him. I did not share that thought with him but I know his friends have.  We actually had dinner last night where he filled me in on all of his activities. I just smiled and nodded.  After dinner we went our seperate ways. I'll check up on him in a couple of months or so.

GraLauJon
by on Jun. 25, 2012 at 3:11 PM
1 mom liked this

i have gotten to the point that i am just totally working on what i want in my life and myself and my outlook has changed about dating. and for that i am gald b/c if i look at my own history of the types of men i ended up with....i obviously needed to change my view of "does he want me?" "will he have me?" "Am i good enough?"  to "I have alot of good qualities. i am enjoying my life. if someone wants to enjoy it with me that will be great. anyone who doesnt...well, they have their own preferences and challenges.  and i get to choose who i want to spend time with too."  i think i am saying that i process how and who i keep company with differently.  and i think it makes all the difference in the world.

newbie1198
by Bronze Member on Jun. 26, 2012 at 10:54 AM

 I went on my first date a couple of weeks ago.  I have to say it is weird to me having to date again it has been 20yrs.  I went out with a friend that I hadnt seen in 12yrs.  The date itself was fun we went to a ballgame and after the game they had a fireworks display.  But I didnt know how to act on the date was it a date, or a friend thing I couldn't tell because he didnt try to put his arm around me, or hold my hand NOTHING.  This is the part of dating I hate trying to read between the lines.

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)