See what CafeMoms are saying about saving time this holiday season..
Last December we had been legally seperated for well over a year. We had a custody schedule and there were support payments coming in (not exactly what they should've been but nevertheless, he was paying). So we were to sit down for coffee and settle the agreement in writing, I was going to give up so much just to get this done. The the jerk went behind my back and filed for majority custody a day before we were supposed to sit down and settle this. So 8 months later and about $40k combined attorney fees he wants to sit down and settle. Especially since the Judge doubled my support, gave me even more custody, and he was deemed as "neglectful". He screwed himself and me in interim. So tonight we are meeting for coffee and finalizing the agreement that should have been made last year. However the Judge found he makes $30k more per year than when we seperated, so this doubled my support payments. I am hopeful that we can come to an agreement tonight and get this all over with. We have both moved on. I know he sees others or someone (I don't really care, in fact I hope he finds a good woman). I moved on, months before we seperated. i fell in love with an old flame from childhood... we have been talking for over 3 years now and is really the main reason why i wanted out of the marriage, I was with him for 17 years, half of my life, he did not treat me well and when my James popped up out of nowhere it was a slap in the face, why am I with this abusive guy??? When I could possibly be missing out on the love of my life, with a good man that wants to treat me well and take care of me. James lives across the world now (Australia). So wee have a long distance relationship, he will be coming out later this year to liv with us for awhile and help me get back on my feet and we can decide if he is going to stay here with us, or if we are going to move back to Australia. My dilemma, I don't want to take the girls from their father, but I don't want to live my life with him in it all the time. And if I stay in San Diego, he will be in my life constantly due to custody arrangements. I am in love with James, and I believe he wants to marry me... I don't ever want to go through another divorce (neither does James, he was also married and has 2 kids), so part of me never wants to marry again.... But James, I would marry him in a heartbeat... We only have 30 summers left in our youth, and wee plan on spending those summers togther as true love partners. Long story short, I need to finalize this divorce and decide what is best for the girls, but also what is best for me. Everyone says it's about the kids, but if the parents are miserable, how can transcend into positive environment for the children. I believe happy parents create happy children. These parents are miserable and so are our children right now. Significant change needs to happen. There is always Chaos after change. Chaos before, during, and after if you ask me.... Ugggh.