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Divorce & Starting Over Divorce & Starting Over

Venting and any advice would be great

Posted by on Aug. 12, 2012 at 11:43 AM
  • 4 Replies

I need some advice cause i do not know what to do and i am concerned for my 3 kids (ages 4, 8, 12).

Currently i have sole custody and their father has wed 6pm-8pm and every other weekend from Fri 6pm-Sun 5pm. His weekend (Aug 3rd-Aug 5th) he did not call or show. my son told me that night that daddy mention that he has no place for them so he wont take them. who he called at my moms (grama watches when i at work)  Our son (12) has been sick On and off with a 101 fever many nebulizer treatments and vomiting. Wed (8/8) came and i tried to tell him he is still sick so please take it easy he goes yup and walks away. He took the 3 kids for a walk in the heat which per mapquest is 3miles one way. knowing he was sick. They couldnt even make it back where my ex mad our son call my dad (not me) to see if he can pick them up. our son was still so sick he had to go to the drs on fri to get a antibotic, a steriod and up his nebulizer treatments. Sat he had to go to urgent care cause he was vomiting so much he couldnt keep the meds in. Then switched med and he goes back on monday. my son said dad refuses to call you so he had me call papa. That is nothing new to me cause he wont call the kids unless he knows they are at my parents. I do have a log of when he calls who he calls when he gets them and dont gets them. Is there anything i can do so he doesnt do that again? we have been to court for visitation and the judge knows he refuses to talk to me and he stated MANY times he needs to grow up but it doesnt seem to work. I dont want it to where they cant see there dad but i am now worried when they are gonna be in his care.

2nd question is he told the kids on his wed that since he wont keep them over night maybe he will pick them up for the day. If he doesnt take them fri night do i have to let them go for the day on saturday? i dont want to sit around and wait when i can take them somewhere. (point again he wont call to tell me when or what)

by on Aug. 12, 2012 at 11:43 AM
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Replies (1-4):
cara124
by Cara on Aug. 12, 2012 at 11:55 AM
1 mom liked this

my suggestion because he doesn't have a safe place for them and he has shown disregard for a child who is ill ... would be to file for a modification in visitations.... and since he calls/talks to your parents see if the visits can be done at their house while your at work .... other than that I don't think there is much you can do ....

Lita5202
by Member on Aug. 12, 2012 at 12:27 PM

 he doesnt talk to my parents he goes through our 12yr old. only thing he speaks to my parents is "is phil there?" anything more he has our son ask.  he had him call papa to get him and his sisters. ex didnt call them. i dont know why he is being so childish. Plus he wont stay at my parents. i offered that before.

GraLauJon
by on Sep. 30, 2012 at 12:06 PM

i agree to modify the parenting plan...put in a request.  have docs from drs, and request supervised visitations now. 

Akeso
by Bronze Member on Oct. 1, 2012 at 2:31 AM

Dunno if this is good advice or not but getting your 12 year old child to do HIS job (calling, etc) is not your kid's responsibility. That's called triangulation I believe. It puts your child in the middle of something that is between you and your ex. The father has to put his big boy pants on (to borrow Gra's expression) and do the arranging himself. Tell your child not to do it anymore, poor kid. As for taking him for a 3-mile walk in the heat knowing your child is sick... what a jerk. Keep any evidence. That's got to be considered endangerment or something.

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