My boyfriend is worried about being a dad to my boys.
So I had a conversation with my boyfriend today. Good news is... he loves me. Deeply.
Bad news is... he's not sure he has the patience to step in and be a dad to my twin 3 year old boys.
He says a part of him really wants to be their dad (my ex is NOT in the picture AT ALL), but he's worried about starting all of that all over again. His kids are 13 and 15 years old...
We've been together since March. Our relationship has been on again/ off again. But for some reason we both seem drawn to one another.
I totally understand him. I understand that taking on two little ones is difficult. It's a huge deal and one anyone really needs to consider very strongly if they want to take this on.
His biggest issue is one of my boys is an angel, the other one is a devil. This is totally my fault because the devil has had some health issues and I've spoiled him rotten. But now I need to fix this. Not just to help my boyfriend, but because my son will end up being a terrible kid if I can't get this under control. It's really for his sake more than anything else.
I've asked my boyfriend for time. My boys are only 3 1/2 years old. They just started pre-school yesterday. They both have speech delays, so they act out when they can't get their points across. I know they will make huge strides this year, but I really want my boyfriend to stop worrying about raising them and being just my boyfriend. We don't have to rush into mashing our families together. He's wonderful and I adore him. He knows my kids are part of the package. He's just scared.
So any ideas on 1 - how do I help my kids be good little boys who people actually want to be around?
2 - How do I help my boyfriend understand that no matter what, the boys are my responsibility and I would never ask him to be more to them than he is willing to be?
3 - Sadly, do I dump this awesome man before I get really hurt (although it might be too late for that)because he might end up hurting me later on?
OH and... my boss for some reason keeps telling me that T and I are going to be together forever. During one of our "off" periods I did date other guys. None of them compared to T.