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Divorce & Starting Over Divorce & Starting Over

Just left my husband; seeking advice

Posted by on Aug. 26, 2012 at 7:18 PM
  • 8 Replies

I left my husband last wednesday, I finally feel relieved! That day was the most stressful day of my life in the last 4 years, I'm 12 weeks pregnant and need some advice on what I can and can't do legally. I am not going back to him, he started becoming controlling after the wedding, then transitioned into mental abuse, then the day I moved things got violent. Is there any advice for a mom like me? I want to get a divorce or annulment as soon as possible. Thank you for your time.

by on Aug. 26, 2012 at 7:18 PM
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tottaxi
by Silver Member on Aug. 26, 2012 at 7:40 PM

Depending upon the state that you live in, you may not be able to complete the divorce until your child is born.  I don't know if an annulment will be possible since you are pregnant and because of the length of the marriage.

Since abuse is involved (of the physical variety), it may be beneficial to go to a women's shelter...not necessarily to live, but to seek advice on the best way to proceed.

What, specifically, are you wanting to know if you can or cannot do?  Please also provide as much background as you feel comfortable with sharing so that we can answer you appropriately.

And welcome!  I'm sorry that we are meeting under these circumstances, but this is a great group with many members who have "been there, done that" and can share their own experiences with your issues.

starry_mom
by on Aug. 26, 2012 at 11:31 PM
Thank you, I think you answered my questions, I'm still very flustered with all the change; but I've been over him for 3 of the last 5 months. I have a question as to if broken promises count as fraud in the court of law, I assume that it would only count if it were in writing. The reason I married him was because he said he'd helpme get custody of my son from his biological father.
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tottaxi
by Silver Member on Aug. 27, 2012 at 7:05 AM
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Sorry, starry_mom.  The answer to that one is a big "No".  If all men who made promises and then renigged were able to be prosecuted for fraud there probably would only be women walking around free!  LOL!

This guy is not a keeper.  Scrape him off your shoes asap and be more cautious and discerning with the future men in your life.  Try to consider all of this a "Live and Learn" experience.  We are all in that position.  Don't beat yourself up...just move on and work on having a better future.

 

cara124
by Cara on Aug. 27, 2012 at 9:30 AM
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the first thing you should do is consult an attorney about what your rights and options are & if you should optain a restraining order to keep him away from you until after the baby is born ( maybe longer ) ... Are you living in a safe place now ? .... if not please seek help at a shelter or human resource office ...

welcomethis group of women is awesome at helping please ask or vent anything ....

starry_mom
by on Aug. 27, 2012 at 12:35 PM
I'm afraid if I obtain a restraining order against him that it may make my restraining order against someone who actually has attempted to kill me in the past null and void, my son and I are safe now.
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Zainie
by on Aug. 28, 2012 at 8:29 PM
No it will not void the order, however to get a order of protection u 1st need to file a report and have evidence to back u up. U don't have to answer but do you think he is going to come after you?
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starry_mom
by on Aug. 28, 2012 at 10:55 PM

I dont think he'll come after me, but he has been harrassing me, always calling me, texting me, and it's nothing about the baby, it's all "pity me" shit, trying to manipulate me.

Zainie
by on Aug. 30, 2012 at 10:42 PM
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This his way of controlling u. I coming from the same type of relationship. As a profession I have to deal with emotional and behavioral challenged. Which is why it is so hard for me to deal with my own relationship. My co workers worry that one day I will just snap. But maybe I stay bc I think I can help or maybe they is hope and things will change but I see now that I need to change bc he will never change. Do what ever u need to to ensure the safety of yourself and your child. You can look into harassment charges or no contact order.
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