Tried to introduce boyfriend to son - FAIL! UGH! (have been divorced over 2 yrs)
I have been divorced for almost 2 1/2 yrs and have been dating someone for over a year and STILL have not been able to introduce him to my kids. My 17 yr old daughter says I shouldnt date - I should just be alone forever and my son has not really said a lot on the matter. I have tried to bring it up several times and my daughter blows up. I usually have only gone out with him while the kids are with their dad (we have joint custody and switch off week to week). She sometimes contacts me and asks where I am while she is with her dad and I do tell her now that I'm with XXXX and she says "you are terrible." I did not start dating until over 6 months after the divorce was final. I reconnected at a reunion with someone I knew in high school (and even dated a bit) and things have been wonderful. Anyways, I tried to introduce him to my kids months ago when I was attending a wedding and was taking him as a guest and they both wouldnt do it. Well, since my daughter was working last night, I thought I'd try again with introducing him to my son (age 13) so I was going to have XXXX come over to help with a repair project and have dinner so before he was going to come, I brought it up to my son that XXXX was going to come over and help with a repair and eat with us and my son got up and started walking out. I asked where he was going and he said to his dad's (he lives very close by). I said I would like you to meet XXXX and he said "nope." He didnt return for 3 hours (and texts and a call to my ex were ignored and my son didnt have his cell with him). I did NOT anticipate this type of reaction and I am so frustrated. I have told my kids previously that I would never get back with their dad. I am finally happy in a relationship yet I need for XXXX (who has been incredibly understanding and patient) to meet my kids. I just don't know what to do at this point. I am not going to let my kids dictate whether or not I should date. They just think I should remain alone apparently. XXXX is such a good guy and has met all of my siblings , their families, my parents....and I have done things many times with his daughter (he's also divorced) and his family. It just seems natural to introduce him to my kids but they are being VERY negative and combative against it. Does anyone else have a similar experience or suggestions? I do not have a good relationship with my ex so discussing anything with him is out of the question. I've tried to get my daughter into counseling and that did not work - she went once and refused to go again. My ex did not support having her go to counseling - he didnt want her to go in spite of other issues she has as well...so there is no way that he'd have my son go.