My mother was bipolar, so he drug me to psyc after counselor to claim I was. They never did, but said I was at the lower end, so I was put om meds. That was all he needed for leverage.
He would have made me loose my teaching career. So I thot.
And at that point, I just wanted out. I wanted to make me happy for once. Yes I was being selfish. I admit it. This all happened a year ago.
And I honestly think it was the right decision for him to keep the kids (jointly). Living on the farm, all the animals, his parents to help.
I had no one and could only find a small 2bedroom dump at the time. They still act miserable when they are with me even though I am happy with a bigger house and a wonderful man whom they like.
I just don't know how to get over the guilt. My oldest still says I don't love them since I left, but his dad told him I left I need the counseling not him and one day he will know what his mommy did.
I had an affair. I knew it was the only way he would want me to leave. And sometimes I think he would have been ok with separate bedrooms. I didn't want to live another 15 years of that.
Sorry for rambling.....I need peace....not badgering please...ty