He's behaving strangely and making threats...*update*
*update* -- This morning, he called after he left for work, to tell me that he will be shutting off the internet and my phone and that he refuses to pay for anything for me and our daughter anymore. I told him he HAS to pay for certain things and he is saying he doesn't have to because he pays the bills. He says that is enough. But when he came home from work, he acted like everything was fine. I still don't know if the internet and phone will be shut off...so far, it's still on, but that doesn't mean anything. He has done this before and sometimes he goes through with it and sometimes he doesn't. He's very impulsive and erratic, especially when in a manic phase. He's now saying that we can continue to live here, but he's still saying that him paying for rent and food and utilities is way more than enough and that he will not be paying for anything extra for our daughter and me. This is how he works, and this is common for people with his disorder (to go back and forth on things).
So I am trying to decide if I should just cut all ties NOW and start looking for shelters to get out of here now...or if I should hang out a bit more so I can get a job and keep her in the same school she's in, etc. I'm thinking it's time for us to go...I don't want to be subjected to his crap anymore. And to be honest, if I don't find a job within the next week or two at most, I will be screwed (I have medications for diseases I have that I need, not to mention that Sky will need many things as well). And I really don't see me finding a job within a week when I've been looking for one all this time and still don't have one.
Hopefully I can find a place to take us in. I just hate the idea of leaving everything we own behind. But I need to make a move...there's no sense in me staying here in suspended animation.
But I have friends telling me that I should NOT file for divorce first (they say that if he files first, he will have to pay for it and lawyers for both of us) and they are telling me to NOT leave the apartment. At this point, I feel like a restraining order seems silly because he has now calmed down and I was never physically harmed. I don't want to be vindictive like he is and create more drama where I don't need to.
My stbx and I separated months ago, but had yet to file fo divorce and we have continued to live together because I can't afford to live on my own. We were planning on keeping things this way till the end of the schoolyear (June) so that our daughter could finish the grade all in one school and to give me more time to get a job and save some money. stbx has mental instability, is an alcoholic, constant weed-smoker, is almost never here, etc. He's not a stable person in any way.
But things have been tolerable, livable, and civil. Even really nice, at times. But he had slipped into a manic mood cycle and that made it difficult recently...he was erratic with money, elated moods in an almost fake way, drinking more, etc.
He came home from work in an elated/happy mood and everything was all good until after dinner. We got into a disagreement and he said some things that were verbally abusive, so I couldn't let it go and had to stick up for myself. He then told me that he would lie and do whatever it takes to take our daughter away from me and that I would never see her again. He kept laughing and telling me that he can and will do everything he can to make my life miserable. Of course, I know that no judge in their right mind would give custody to him, I know he was saying scare tactics....but he began acting very weird after that and started to call the cops, saying he was going to tell them that I was out of control and had been hitting our daughter and him! HUGE lie! I told him to go ahead and call the cops, that I would just tell them everything he said...so he hung up the phone and left that alone.
I don't really know what to do. I am filing for divorce in the morning, but then what? I have nowhere to live, I have been asking friends and family and no one can help...everyone I know is struggling also. Is there anything I should know about filing? How can I protect myself and my daughter???