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Divorce & Starting Over Divorce & Starting Over

He is already asking about Spring Break!!!

Posted by on Oct. 6, 2012 at 4:18 PM
  • 5 Replies

My ex just asked me when the kids spring break is so he can get his vacation requests in.

Well according to the local rule Spring Break is mine next year. I am not sure whether I should tell him he can't have them or not.

Here's why I am unsure:

My small family owned daycare business (not mine personally) is being bought out by a large corporation. I have been at the current company for just over 5 years. In the past we (employees) have had to earn our flex time by working so many hours- for every 40 hours we work we got 2 hours flex time. This time was used to make up for not working a full week (i.e. if we called off or the center was closed or if we got sent home due to low numbers). It would literally take me 6 months to build up enough time to take a week off for vacation & get paid for it. And then by the timeThanksgiving & Christmas came around I would have enough to pay for the time off there (due to low numbers & center being closed).

Now that the company is being bought we learned that once you are with the company for a year you automatically get 5 personal days & 5 vacation days. Not to mention paid holidays (which we are all excited about!) It goes up from there depending on the number of years. But we are all still unsure how this effects us since we are being bought out. Would I still be considered a 5 year employee? Or will I have to work for the new company for a year before earning this time off? (We have yet to find out the answer to this from the new company).

In the past- I have never taken their spring break off (just because I had always taken the week of my birthday off which is in the summer). While I was working the kids would attend daycare (I get a discount for working there) & he never had the time off. He works fast food & his work hours vary week to week & sometimes his days off have to be rescheduled- he has had to switch his vacation around several times in the past because of managers quitting or others who are higher up request the same time off.

So, I guess my dilema is do I tell him that he needs to remember spring break is MINE next year or do I let him have it & then find out later that I can have the time off & risk him getting mad because I said he could have them? In all honesty, the only reason I wouldn't be too upset is if I knew for a fact that there were concrete plans to go somewhere rather than stay at home (& thus I be responsible for them when I get home from work). But there is always that chance that he get moved to another location & he would have to change his vacation!

by on Oct. 6, 2012 at 4:18 PM
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Replies (1-5):
GraLauJon
by on Oct. 6, 2012 at 11:12 PM

so cant you tell him what is happening, just like you told us?  you sound like you are still good friends and on good terms....when stbx and i run into issues like this we end up just playing it by ear. it all works out in the end. it helps when both parents are flexible.

RLSMOM59
by Silver Member on Oct. 7, 2012 at 8:18 AM

Personally I would let him spent time during spring break. You are always complaining about him not planning, not spending time with the children, or not giving you ample notice. Now he is trying to do that and your are still complaining or deliberating about letting him have the time. I know this is blunt but you can't have it both ways. Let him have spring break and negotiate a longer time for a different time frame.


CampClan
by Bronze Member on Oct. 7, 2012 at 9:13 AM

GraLauJon I did tell him. He was at work when he text about it & texting all that back was not going to happen so I just told him to call me later. He told me that he would really like them that week since he has never taken the week off while they were on spring break. Which is true. He also said if I had something planned or was able to take the week off as well then we could cross that bridge when we go there. Which I guess is fine since neither of us have any spending money to take them anywhere. It's also the week before Easter & my DS's 17th birthday. And since he (DS) never has a party I doubt we would do one for him then (his friends are always out of town due to spring break).

IDK if you ladies have any suggestions for him, but he has been wondering how this whole model parenting time thing works for someone with a job like his (fast food manager). He doesn't get the same 2 days off every week & his manager has seemed to be giving him EOWE off lately (but you already know his living situation)- but that is not guarenteed.

He asked me last night to text him to remind him to let me know his days off for the week so I told him since his boss does the schedule up 6 weeks at a time he should be telling me that schedule.

GraLauJon
by on Oct. 7, 2012 at 12:58 PM

well see that is where you need to be flexible on your end....and setting things up in paperwork gets hairy, i think b/c ppl get stubborn about how they want things.  i think as long as you two work together on it and are both loyal and fair about making it best for the kids then you can trust each other to just deal with it all, regardelss of an SO being in either of your lives going fwd.

my stbx is freaking my dd out about what he PLANS on doing, ie getting remarried.  i think its important to make sure the child is really okay with arrangements.  thats the key.

miss_AP
by on Oct. 9, 2012 at 12:54 PM

Really I ditto the other responses. I think being flexible is always a good option....and if you are up front with him then you can work it out. Plus, if he does take spring break and it turns out you have the time....would it be a big deal for you to take your time another time? It might be, but just a thought :)

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