Why is he doing this?

[heathermichelle]

When my husband and I were together he always talked so good about it. Now since we are not, he calls me all kind of names, says I am nasty and fat, let myself go, didn't try to lose weight, sex wasn't good. This is the same exact stuff he told me he said about his ex girlfriend too. I just don't understand why he is saying these things now.

He said he only had sex with me to shut me up. There were many times he would want it without me asking. He also said that about his ex too.  And if he didn't really want sex, then why have it? 

I am just hurt that I am finding all this info out and the lies he is spreading. Why is he doing this?

[justkeeplaughin]

Because guys always have to make it seem to their friends or whoever that its not their fault they are leaving its yours. That may they get sympathy from others around them...until they realize your ex is really the a-hole...and you are now the one better off. I been there done this. Sorry you have to go thru it. Just don't let him sweet talk his way back when everyone else gets tired if him.

[cara124]

because by beating you down ( verbally ) it makes him feel like the better person . ( they never see themselves as the problem in the relationship failing, they need some one to blame ) .

Hold you head up high and don't sink to his level .. if some one ask you about it respond with some like  "What do You think was the problem ?" most will back off when confronted .

[-Kney-]

Hes a guy.. my ex did the same thing he even went so far to on April Fools Day he and his new chick he left me for called me and told me they were pregnant and she was better in bed cause she wasnt boring.. yeah that killed me badly but I got the last laugh because they broke-up, I got a great boyfriend and Im actually pregnant due here soon

Just keep your head up hun and try to ignore everything he sends your way

[GraLauJon]

b/c he is an abuser, and you may want to educate yourself on that so you dont keep picking the same kind of man over and over.  there are good books out there and dv grps here on CM.  my stbx said stuff like that too. pffft. just ignore him. what you should not have ignored and will do well to be alert to as you move on in life is the fact that it was revealed to you how he treated his ex (we call those "red flags").   ppl who act a certain way are gonna act that way twd everyone.  the sweet talk is just to get someone hooked. then they get their fill and move on.  start rehabilitating, work on yourself and when you start to honor who you are you will choose other ppl to be in your life who honor who you are, too.

[Homeschoolmom99]

I agree

Quoting GraLauJon:

b/c he is an abuser, and you may want to educate yourself on that so you dont keep picking the same kind of man over and over.  there are good books out there and dv grps here on CM.  my stbx said stuff like that too. pffft. just ignore him. what you should not have ignored and will do well to be alert to as you move on in life is the fact that it was revealed to you how he treated his ex (we call those "red flags").   ppl who act a certain way are gonna act that way twd everyone.  the sweet talk is just to get someone hooked. then they get their fill and move on.  start rehabilitating, work on yourself and when you start to honor who you are you will choose other ppl to be in your life who honor who you are, too.

[Stephd710]

My ex cheated on me while i was pregnant and pretty much completely abandoned me the first day we got home from the hospital so he could go have fun with his gf. I found out about a month later. He wanted me to keep our divorce hush hush and not even tell people it was happening. Hahahahaha......I didn't. I told who needed to be told. Then I heard he was telling people we were getting a divorce because I wouldnt clean the house. Puh-leez. I set them straight pretty quick and he provided all the evidence needed when he had a pregnant gf two months later. Stupid men.

[GraLauJon]

I was raised to feel appalled at ppls behavior when they ditch other ppl.....i dont get it either, just know that it happens and that you deserve so much more.  like my friend said, "start vibrating on a whole different level."  Its just time to move to higher ground.  where they are the maneur under your feet.