Did he invite you to move with him? Are you considering it? Are you wanting to ask him to stay? Where exactly are you wanting advice? I have all sorts of opinions haha ;)
You are not the only woman who has had to relocate. Is it a pita? Yes. The visitations will not be easily accomplished and with you being the one requesting the move, the travel expenses for your kids will be on you.
How old are your children? Are they of school age? Once kids get to school age and long distance, you may have to be satisfied with seeing them only on school breaks, summer vacations and through skyppe.
Has your bf exhausted all efforts to find a job in your current area? If not, then he really needs to do that before transplanting YOU miles and miles from your children. Or is this his attempt to remove your children from your life?
I think that unless you (you and bf, that is) have done all you can to establish yourself near your children, it does look as though your children are an afterthought instead of your primary concern. BF should NOT be your priority. If he is, well, you need to rethink your priorities.
just make sure the bf is a decent guy. that is my advice. b/c my stbx was abusive and did a classic textbook move by taking me away from my family. we are divorcing now b/c he was so violent. and he didnt come across that way at all when we were dating. he got rave reviews by other ppl as being such a nice guy. now he is trying to get some woman he met online to come here from Armenia where she will be separated from everyone she knows.
my point is, make sure this guy is someone you have a solid foundation with.....b/c it can change your life, for good or bad. and it sounds like you would be sacrificing alot to be with him. My gut is telling me to say to you, "dont do it." my stbx would say things like your bf....he can get a job anywhere in the U.S. The economy is bad, but why find a job that far away, knowing you have kids to tend to? It just sounds very shady to me. and if many ppl are telling you that then please listen. alot of times we dont listen to others and do what we want anyway and end up paying a heavier price in the end than we could have ever imagined.
BE SAFE
Quoting tottaxi:You are not the only woman who has had to relocate. Is it a pita? Yes. The visitations will not be easily accomplished and with you being the one requesting the move, the travel expenses for your kids will be on you.
How old are your children? Are they of school age? Once kids get to school age and long distance, you may have to be satisfied with seeing them only on school breaks, summer vacations and through skyppe.
Has your bf exhausted all efforts to find a job in your current area? If not, then he really needs to do that before transplanting YOU miles and miles from your children. Or is this his attempt to remove your children from your life?
I think that unless you (you and bf, that is) have done all you can to establish yourself near your children, it does look as though your children are an afterthought instead of your primary concern. BF should NOT be your priority. If he is, well, you need to rethink your priorities.
I am confused about where you are saying your oppty is....where you live now, or if you move?
Quoting texbee83:
I told him no I'm not moving that far. Just an update. Ur right my bf should be my #1 priority and believe me he isn't. My boys come first. I'm a package deal. He wasn't trying to seperate me from them. He's just so worried about taking care of me and I think its nerves more than anything.
If you are quoting me about the bf/#1 priority, I want you to reread my post. HE should NOT be your number one priority. YOUR KIDS SHOULD BE. And from this post I would say that they are! Good for you!!!! You and your boys ARE a package deal. My mom was a single mom and that is what she always called us..."a package deal". In fact, her first date with the guy who is now my dad (adopted me later) included me! He came to pick her up for dinner and mom called me to go. He asked if I was going to a babysitter and mom said "No, she's going to dinner with us." LOL!
Quoting GraLauJon:
Quoting tottaxi:You are not the only woman who has had to relocate. Is it a pita? Yes. The visitations will not be easily accomplished and with you being the one requesting the move, the travel expenses for your kids will be on you.
How old are your children? Are they of school age? Once kids get to school age and long distance, you may have to be satisfied with seeing them only on school breaks, summer vacations and through skyppe.
Has your bf exhausted all efforts to find a job in your current area? If not, then he really needs to do that before transplanting YOU miles and miles from your children. Or is this his attempt to remove your children from your life?
I think that unless you (you and bf, that is) have done all you can to establish yourself near your children, it does look as though your children are an afterthought instead of your primary concern. BF should NOT be your priority. If he is, well, you need to rethink your priorities.
I am confused about where you are saying your oppty is....where you live now, or if you move?
What a slap in the face!
- texbee83
on Nov. 15, 2012 at 11:02 AM