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Divorce & Starting Over Divorce & Starting Over

Im finally looking up pro bono divorce attys for myself.  This is ridiculous.  My stbx wants to get away with murder. really, i am haggling with someone who is very cunning and shrewd.   i have no idea what i can ask for thru the law and i am not good at reading all that legal mumbo jumbo and trying to understand it on my own.  It is simply not my forte.  and i dont want to mess myself over.  I was told by an atty of a friend that there arent any in town but i am looking online and there are pro bono divorce laywers in the city.  I am going with the attitude of, "when there is a will there is a way."   and i am letting at least 3 other older women's voices resound in my head to make sure i get help with this b/c they knew my stbx's personality and how he only looks out for #1.   for example, I can ask for lifelong alimony and even if i can only get it for a certain amt of time there doesnt seem to be a set amt we have to settle on, not like with the kids cs amts.  i made a proposal and he doesnt want to go with it.  he also wont give me a tad more in joint legal custody.  I need help!

I will let y'all know how it goes. 

by on Nov. 18, 2012 at 10:54 AM
Replies (11-13):
GraLauJon
by on Nov. 19, 2012 at 4:18 PM


Quoting zebra556:

Where r u? What exactly r u looking for in visitation and how old r and how many kids do you have. Forgive me, I'm sure you said. All you have said about the dad points to sole custody, unless you guys can communicate. Seems that is the big factor in giving sole custody to one parent. The op can abuse, can have many issues, but if they can communicate with the cp, well than joint custody is in order. That is what I have learned. I am talking minimum joint legal, which is decision making. No matter if the two parents disagree on the manner of parenting and most everything else that pertains to the child. Are the courts and those involved freaking crazy? Yep, that has been my experience. Sorry have to drive kiddos, have to end

I have learned to handle matters ourselves. really.  and in the end i am getting a good deal. i just want the stbx to tweak a few things in the papers and also to give me 51/49 joint legal.  he doesnt want to budge. even the parenting class at the courthouse said judges would rather have couples work it out b/c they dont know ppls personal situaions.  its 50-50 here, with everything.  no questions asked. I am in CA.  that is why Katie Holms filed for divorce against Tom Cruise in NY rather than LA....b/c she had a better chance of getting sole physical custody there.

my kids were 3, 7 & 10 when thier dad moved out.  They are 10, 13 & 17 now.  Stbx agrees to give me sole physical custody at this point....

Akeso
by Bronze Member on Nov. 19, 2012 at 4:47 PM

Gra I remember you asked something along these lines before and totaxi gave a ton of info in the post she had, look it up! If it's what you were looking for, for the kinds of things to look out for. And try and change the children's ad litem or whatever she's called if you can. Use a different address or something if it goes by that if you can. Good luck hon.

GraLauJon
by on Nov. 19, 2012 at 6:15 PM


Quoting Akeso:

Gra I remember you asked something along these lines before and totaxi gave a ton of info in the post she had, look it up! If it's what you were looking for, for the kinds of things to look out for. And try and change the children's ad litem or whatever she's called if you can. Use a different address or something if it goes by that if you can. Good luck hon.

LOL - no changing addresses b/c it will catch up to me. no more ad litem. we filed BK against all the attys.  I do remember the reply to try and at least get 51/49 joint custody and that is what i am now asking for. 

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