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The Door Hit Him on His Way Out

Posted by on Jan. 1, 2013 at 2:03 PM
  • 7 Replies

well more drama with stbx this weekend. i had friends over on Sun so he tried calling and got irate when i didnt answer.  he confessed the next day that he thought i had a bf over, which i didnt. but its none of his business what i do anymore anyway...and he claims to be happy with a so called fiancee.  dunno why he didnt skype her instead.  b/c sat he was trying to text me. i told him to spend a sat nite tuning into her instead.  then  i had to physically remove him from the house last night. and the door hit him on the way out.  no kicking or hitting or slapping.  just a bouncer type move where i removed him from the premisis.  it was like how i take my kids by the arm and lead them to the naughty corner for a time out.  i think he is in shock but i feel empowered b/c i had to think outside the box to get him to comply with the boundaries i laid out...which he obviously didnt respect and never has and never thought he has had to.   havent heard from him all day, but when he dropped our 10 yr old off after the movies he didnt step foot back in the house.

BTW - he is 6'1"  and i am 5'3"


by on Jan. 1, 2013 at 2:03 PM
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Replies (1-7):
GraLauJon
by on Jan. 1, 2013 at 2:07 PM

...and when he told me he thought i had a bf there and that is why i didnt answer i told him that if i did have a bf he would know about it b/c he would get himself set straight right away.

MommaNuney
by on Jan. 1, 2013 at 4:01 PM
1 mom liked this
Good job!
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tottaxi
by Battle Weary on Jan. 1, 2013 at 4:04 PM

This guy is a nut.  He's jealous and doesn't want you to date and yet he has a mail order bride on lay-a-way. 

I'm glad you are finding your strength, GLJ, but be careful about poking the bear.  Don't lower yourself to his level by making any of this physical.  I think you took him by surprise this time, but be careful attempting to deal with him in the same way next time...and there will always be a next time until you both have really moved on.

When's he get his bride???

Akeso
by Bronze Member on Jan. 1, 2013 at 4:28 PM

Agree with totaxi, you're lucky he didn't push you off. Mine would've. I have been told the best thing to do with these kinds of people is to stay calm, say you're going to call the police to remove them from the premises, and watch while you dial. Might sound extreme but better than getting decked or raising their ire. Good for you, btw. And nice your STBX actually cares what you do?! LOL. Mine doesn't give a toss.

GraLauJon
by on Jan. 1, 2013 at 9:47 PM

oh my dears...he has physically assaulted me for years.  he used to say, "im just waiting for one of us to die." and then he raised my life ins without me knowing it. soon after he tried to take me out. I know what i am doing after 18 yrs.  it wasnt a boxing match.  he knows i call the cops on him, which is why he helped himself out the door. i have called 911 before and he has gone to jail and had an RO slapped on him.   i also took a MOSAIC test, where the cops do a profile work up on guys like this...its rated from 1-10, 10 being apt to kill you.  he ranked a 9.   he wont win and  he knows it now.  it has taken me a long time to realize that myself.  and he doesnt plan on moving on. he says he does and that he already has.  he is a sociopath.  and when the authorities dont help me then i have recoiled. i just didnt want to anymore. 

GraLauJon
by on Jan. 1, 2013 at 10:22 PM


Quoting tottaxi:

This guy is a nut.  He's jealous and doesn't want you to date and yet he has a mail order bride on lay-a-way. 

I'm glad you are finding your strength, GLJ, but be careful about poking the bear.  Don't lower yourself to his level by making any of this physical.  I think you took him by surprise this time, but be careful attempting to deal with him in the same way next time...and there will always be a next time until you both have really moved on.

When's he get his bride???

bowing down to someone's level is engaging with them. i told him i was done and he didnt respect the boundaries i set up. he never does. then he tried to force the girls to hug him when they didnt want him to.  when i was clear that i was done trying to converse he didnt stop talking (ie, mocking, shaming, scolding, bullying, etc) and he didnt leave. so i removed him. i coulda called a cop but i have waited an hour for them before.  yes, i caught him off guard.  but he isnt going to rule my life anymore and force himself on us when it is not wanted.  THAT is equal to rape.  its over.  and the only way to end it is if i end it b/c he wont.  he will keep on till he takes me out.

GraLauJon
by on Jan. 1, 2013 at 10:26 PM


Quoting Akeso:

Agree with totaxi, you're lucky he didn't push you off. Mine would've. I have been told the best thing to do with these kinds of people is to stay calm, say you're going to call the police to remove them from the premises, and watch while you dial. Might sound extreme but better than getting decked or raising their ire. Good for you, btw. And nice your STBX actually cares what you do?! LOL. Mine doesn't give a toss.

I was very calm.

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