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Divorce & Starting Over Divorce & Starting Over

XH and I have been separated since July 2012....our divorce was finalized in October 2012. so we've been apart for...6 months now. he's seeing someone else. i'm seeing someone else. 

so tonight i call him to tell him i'm taking our youngest to the ER for his stomach issues he's been having. so he comes up there with us like usual.

he keeps trying to play grab ass with me and trying to make me laugh and crap. i'm over it. then we leave with a couple of scripts for my son so i ask XH if he would mind coming to the house for a minute so that i can drop the scripts off and then go pick them back up without having to wake the boys. i knew that was a mistake from the moment i said it.

so we get to my house and i put the kids to bed. he is still tryingt o mess with me. trying to touch me and al lthis crap. then he tells me he never wanted the divorce (eventhough he cheated on me the entire 5 years we were together) and that since i divorced him without his knowledge (we got a default divorce) that he's going to make my life hell back in court (he's taking me back to court on the 16th for a new trial). then he also tells me that his lawyer is the same man who got custody of his brothers for his stepfather away from their mother....and to watch myself...that he was going to make my life hell.....

i'm so stressed out now i dont even know what to do. SO is really busy tonight at work and i have no one to talk to and i'm literally freaking out right now. i just cried and cried and cried. he won. he saw me break down and that's what he likes. he likes to know that i'm weak around him. that asshole.

i wish i didn't ever have to see his face again......

by on Jan. 4, 2013 at 10:56 PM
Replies (11-18):
tottaxi
by Silver Member on Jan. 6, 2013 at 7:49 PM

 

Quoting Alisvolat:

He was served. I was represented by an attorney. It was a default divorce. He never filed an answer with the court after he was served so we were able to go the day before our set court date and get the divorce granted. He wanted to plead to the judge that we shouldn't divorce, our so he said, so I got divorced without the need for his signature. And he was mad.


Quoting tottaxi:

How were you able to divorce him without his knowlege?  Was he never served?  Were you represented by an attorney?


I'd say he is going to be SOL.  He dropped the ball and the judge gave you the divorce by default.  Ya snooze, ya lose!

I would make a guess and say this is going to be an attempt at appeal.  That's about all he can do because a judge has made a decision.  Unless the judge made a LEGAL error, there is nothing that will be done.  Judges are VERY reluctant to overturn another judge's decison for any reason.

He could be asking for a modification of some sort.  And I would guess that would have to be child-related and not anything financially related (other than CS).   Whatever the reason for the hearing should be on the info your received giving you the date, etc.

Alisvolat
by on Jan. 6, 2013 at 8:11 PM


Quoting tottaxi:


Quoting Alisvolat:

He was served. I was represented by an attorney. It was a default divorce. He never filed an answer with the court after he was served so we were able to go the day before our set court date and get the divorce granted. He wanted to plead to the judge that we shouldn't divorce, our so he said, so I got divorced without the need for his signature. And he was mad.


Quoting tottaxi:

How were you able to divorce him without his knowlege?  Was he never served?  Were you represented by an attorney?


I'd say he is going to be SOL.  He dropped the ball and the judge gave you the divorce by default.  Ya snooze, ya lose!

I would make a guess and say this is going to be an attempt at appeal.  That's about all he can do because a judge has made a decision.  Unless the judge made a LEGAL error, there is nothing that will be done.  Judges are VERY reluctant to overturn another judge's decison for any reason.

He could be asking for a modification of some sort.  And I would guess that would have to be child-related and not anything financially related (other than CS).   Whatever the reason for the hearing should be on the info your received giving you the date, etc.

I'll have to go back and look at what the motion says but this isn't even with a new judge...it's the SAME judge that had a god awful look on her face when she found out he abused me and that he didn't show up or respond to being served.

tottaxi
by Silver Member on Jan. 7, 2013 at 7:32 AM


Quoting Alisvolat:

 

Quoting tottaxi:

 

Quoting Alisvolat:

He was served. I was represented by an attorney. It was a default divorce. He never filed an answer with the court after he was served so we were able to go the day before our set court date and get the divorce granted. He wanted to plead to the judge that we shouldn't divorce, our so he said, so I got divorced without the need for his signature. And he was mad.


Quoting tottaxi:

How were you able to divorce him without his knowlege?  Was he never served?  Were you represented by an attorney?


I'd say he is going to be SOL.  He dropped the ball and the judge gave you the divorce by default.  Ya snooze, ya lose!

I would make a guess and say this is going to be an attempt at appeal.  That's about all he can do because a judge has made a decision.  Unless the judge made a LEGAL error, there is nothing that will be done.  Judges are VERY reluctant to overturn another judge's decison for any reason.

He could be asking for a modification of some sort.  And I would guess that would have to be child-related and not anything financially related (other than CS).   Whatever the reason for the hearing should be on the info your received giving you the date, etc.

I'll have to go back and look at what the motion says but this isn't even with a new judge...it's the SAME judge that had a god awful look on her face when she found out he abused me and that he didn't show up or respond to being served.

Even better.   You did not divorce him without his knowlege, he was served but didn't think he needed to waste his time showing up.  Is this guy a narcissist?  It sounds like he is so full of himself that he thinks he can do whatever he wants and still come out on top! 

He knew, he chose to ignore and now he wants a do-over?  The judge is not going to be happy.

Keep us posted on how this goes.

Alisvolat
by on Jan. 7, 2013 at 12:00 PM
That's kind of what my attorney told me. And everyone else I know....that since I got a default divorce that was HUGE. And the judge that is on our case hates that kind of stuff and abusers....not to mention he hasn't paid a lick of child support since the divorce....I think I'm okay. I'm hoping she won't even grant a new trial honestly.


Quoting tottaxi:



Quoting Alisvolat:


 


Quoting tottaxi:


 


Quoting Alisvolat:

He was served. I was represented by an attorney. It was a default divorce. He never filed an answer with the court after he was served so we were able to go the day before our set court date and get the divorce granted. He wanted to plead to the judge that we shouldn't divorce, our so he said, so I got divorced without the need for his signature. And he was mad.



Quoting tottaxi:


How were you able to divorce him without his knowlege?  Was he never served?  Were you represented by an attorney?



I'd say he is going to be SOL.  He dropped the ball and the judge gave you the divorce by default.  Ya snooze, ya lose!


I would make a guess and say this is going to be an attempt at appeal.  That's about all he can do because a judge has made a decision.  Unless the judge made a LEGAL error, there is nothing that will be done.  Judges are VERY reluctant to overturn another judge's decison for any reason.


He could be asking for a modification of some sort.  And I would guess that would have to be child-related and not anything financially related (other than CS).   Whatever the reason for the hearing should be on the info your received giving you the date, etc.


I'll have to go back and look at what the motion says but this isn't even with a new judge...it's the SAME judge that had a god awful look on her face when she found out he abused me and that he didn't show up or respond to being served.


Even better.   You did not divorce him without his knowlege, he was served but didn't think he needed to waste his time showing up.  Is this guy a narcissist?  It sounds like he is so full of himself that he thinks he can do whatever he wants and still come out on top! 


He knew, he chose to ignore and now he wants a do-over?  The judge is not going to be happy.


Keep us posted on how this goes.


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mygirls2012
by on Jan. 7, 2013 at 5:42 PM

I really dont think you have anything to worry about, I know when I was going thru mine last year we had to go to parenting classes and one of the girls (who was only dating the father of her child) he was served and never did anything she said she got a call like 3 months before her court date and due to him not responding she got awarded sole custody. also it will cost him alot of money to try to fight for custody but i really dont see it. also he is in contempt not paying child support or insurance so that ought to be interesting.. good luck..

tottaxi
by Silver Member on Jan. 7, 2013 at 7:14 PM
1 mom liked this

If he is behind in CS, it might be wise to file a contempt charge against him.  When he shows up in court to try to get a new trial, he might just find himself in handcuffs!  That would be karmic justice at it's best :)

victoriahearts
by on Jan. 8, 2013 at 2:47 PM

I'm sorry your ex sounds like a real piece of work, but be strong, dig deep and find that strength because you obviously found it in order to divorce him and start to make a new life without him, find it again and put this a** hole in his place. Let him try to put your through hell the chance that he will have anything go his way are slim, you got a default divorce which mean he didn't care enough the first time around to do anything about, even if he gets a new trial for divorce what's the judge going to do, he can't force you to stay married, the worst that can happen is you go through the motions again and end up divorced again but highly doubtful the judge will reverse the ruling as if he want to take you to court for custody of the children, the most he will get is joint and you can fight him on that. Stay positive and strong, you can get through these hard time and prove to him that he has no control over you and that he is just a POS.

Alisvolat
by on Jan. 9, 2013 at 9:03 AM

i'm not even so much worried anymore that he would try to take the kids...because i'm a good person and we live in tx so there's not really a chance in hell that he would get custody of them anyway....but now i'm just pissed that he's costing me and my family money with this court crap. i mean everything is fine the way it is he wont really get anything different out of a new trial if he's granted one. and i told him he could just be a dick and go down to the AG and have CS reevaluted...but he doesn't seem to listen to me (not like thats a shocker) i told him though the other day....if he wants to go through with this and play hardball with me to go ahead...i'll play right back...i'm done being nice to him. he sure as hell doesn't deserve it.

Quoting victoriahearts:

I'm sorry your ex sounds like a real piece of work, but be strong, dig deep and find that strength because you obviously found it in order to divorce him and start to make a new life without him, find it again and put this a** hole in his place. Let him try to put your through hell the chance that he will have anything go his way are slim, you got a default divorce which mean he didn't care enough the first time around to do anything about, even if he gets a new trial for divorce what's the judge going to do, he can't force you to stay married, the worst that can happen is you go through the motions again and end up divorced again but highly doubtful the judge will reverse the ruling as if he want to take you to court for custody of the children, the most he will get is joint and you can fight him on that. Stay positive and strong, you can get through these hard time and prove to him that he has no control over you and that he is just a POS.


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