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xpost how do you deal with the thought of possibly being single forever?

Posted by on Jan. 21, 2013 at 3:42 PM
  • 9 Replies

ok i am tryign to seriously think of this in a positive way. I know I probably won't be single forever, BUT i DO want to be comfortable with the fact that I may be single forever. Its not due to abusive ex brainwashing me, etc..just how do you guys deal with that thought? how do you reach a place where are completly and totally happy with yourself and fine with being alone the rest of your life compared to being with some jerk? Again part of me is saying this from fear, but also reality too. I just want to be happy and alright with myself forever if need be. hope this makes sense. In other words I don't want to settle and would rather be by myself if that is the plan, but just can't seem to reach peace with it and not be in fear with it. I am not with my abuser anymore and posted this in another group. Heck I am thinking these thoughts, having these feelings and honestly don't want to even get married again at this point. 

DS1 18

DS2 17

2 angel babies

TTC#3 6 years

by on Jan. 21, 2013 at 3:42 PM
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by on Jan. 21, 2013 at 3:54 PM
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I focus on the delicious possibility that I may have several more loves in my life, and there's no real reason to ever marry again (since I'm done having kids). I can let relationships run their natural course, enjoy then let go when it's over. 

by on Jan. 21, 2013 at 3:59 PM

Thanks guys I appreciate it. Ok how would you deal with the possibilty of being single forever. Say you didn't find someone ever again. I guess I am just trying to get at a happy place if I do have to be alone forever and be at peace with it and love it. 

by on Jan. 21, 2013 at 4:06 PM
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I become ok with being single forever after I started to date again,  I realized that if I was going to be in a relationship that could lead to marriage it had to be right, it had to be the one. My divorce was an amicable one but it still hurt me and it took a very long time to be ok with the decision to divorce and then having to co parent with my ex. I wasn't going to go thorough that one more time I rather be single forever then go thru divorce again, so I started dating and not settling in any aspect, and I started to be grateful with what I had, I have healthy son, a wonderful job and brilliant career, a supportive family and friend network. As a single woman I have so much more than many people had so I start to be grateful as a single woman and it made things a lot easier for me.  

by Bronze Member on Jan. 21, 2013 at 4:14 PM
The other ladies have great points. My divorce was so painful I would NEVER want to expierence that again, and life really is so busy between work, kids, and everyday household duties I don't have alot of free time. But like you I am having a hard time accepting the fact that I could be alone for the rest of my life, I want to get to where I can accept that and still be truly happy, but for right now I'm holding onto the hope that God has a better plan for me and when the time is right, the right man will come along. I am only 37 but I had been married for the last 15yrs to my high school sweetheart-is there life after him? I sure hope so. Good Luck to you on your road to happiness!
by on Jan. 21, 2013 at 6:12 PM

thank you lots of luck and blessings to you guys too. my kids are grown now i thik that is part of the problem i work from home and besides working i do have alot of free time. empty space you know? this is my 2nd divorce.

by Bronze Member on Jan. 21, 2013 at 7:54 PM
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Be alone for awhile. Establish yourself as your own person. Find out what your hobbies are, what you like to do. Be a little selfish and focus on yourself. When you feel like you finally have your own identity, then start to date. Find a man to add to your life, not a man to live your life for. If he doesn't compliment the new you or your way of doing things, kick him to the curb and find someone else.
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by on Jan. 22, 2013 at 12:34 AM
1 mom liked this

Right now I have a male friend sleeping over - drove from up north for work and my house is a good, free stopping point. Anyway, nothing going on but he is snoring on the couch while I am trying to do homework and work on the presentation for tomorrow. He also want me to shut it down (at 10pm) in my own place. Uh this is why I will be single forever :-)

by on Jan. 23, 2013 at 8:54 AM

To me the possibility of being single forever definitely beats staying miserable!! I doubt I will be single forever, but I have to get out of this situation Im in

by on Jan. 23, 2013 at 9:07 AM
Im where youre at in that delimma. I'm 48, and a fine looking 48 according to men! Lol. i really dont know what i feel but mixed up. I dont want to spend the rest of my life alone and i dont want another lying game playing sadistic sob. And theres no way of telling if theyre gonna turn out that way! And im sorry but guys my age dont age as well as women hahaha if theyre single u ask why?! Divorced...why?! Ive always had younger men attracted to me. But you gotta worry if theyre looking for someone to raise them. So there are my thoughts for what theyre worth. Mixed up as everyone else lol
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