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Divorce & Starting Over Divorce & Starting Over

feeling I don't belong

Posted by on Jan. 29, 2013 at 1:18 PM
  • 15 Replies
while I was married,I finally felt I belong.now I'm lost and feeling I don't fit in.I want to run away. by little people I work with stop talking to me, it makes new wonder what's wrong with me. Is it me? Am I doing something wrong?
I have eight sales for the month and one was taken from me and there's nothing I can do. There goes more people I don't talk to now. Not that I want to be friends with them but I can't help thinking I go back to the usual rejection I get from my family.so I feel l it's my fault.
And my older son today calls me to print his resume while I'm with a customer an nd I couldn't do it. So he gets mad at me, blames me And I know it's him.he could have said something last night.be ready for today.so he cancelled his interview. I'm sure that's not going to look great on him.I feel he is procrastinating finding a job because I pay the bills and he complains he watches the little one.
I wish I could find a better job.
by on Jan. 29, 2013 at 1:18 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Akeso
by Bronze Member on Jan. 29, 2013 at 3:43 PM
1 mom liked this

Oh hon it's just people preying on the person who they see as vulnerable. Don't appear vulnerable if possible, and have a little talk with your son to man up. He can't expect you to drop everything at work when it's the only job you've got supporting all of you. You're doing great Flika, I know what you mean about wanting to run away though and start fresh somewhere else.

Ecoseem
by on Jan. 29, 2013 at 3:52 PM
1 mom liked this

Most people aren't worth talking to anyway, I'm in the same boat at work.  No one will talk to me, every gossips behind my back, but whatever.  Some days it's really hard, but it's just because I won't put up with their stupid little games they play with each other.

flika
by Bronze Member on Jan. 30, 2013 at 9:33 AM
Quoting Akeso:

Oh hon it's just people preying on the person who they see as vulnerable. ppear vulnerable if possible, and have a little talk with your son to man up. He can't expect you to drop everything at work when it's the only job you've got supporting all of you. You're doing great Flika, I know what you mean about wanting to run away though and start fresh somewhere else.


my family tells him that to watch the little one isn't his responsibility,or even to work to help me out.that he is 21 and he should have fun and go to school.
RLSMOM59
by Silver Member on Jan. 30, 2013 at 3:04 PM
1 mom liked this

Why was your sale taken from you? Did you start the process? I know you work for a dealer but the manager should be reported for causing a hostile work environment. You are not there to socialize but you are there to make a living. Youhave mentioned before of the poor treatment, have you been keeping records/documenting? What dealer are you working for?

As for you older so not being prepared for an interview, that's his problem. there is a library he could have printed documents at. I don't know how old he is but personally he would be on  his own for a couple of days to understand how hard you are trying. Oh he would get the idea real fast. And what good would it have done if you printed his resume at your job? How was he suppose to get it? be careful using work equipment for personal stuff.

RLSMOM59
by Silver Member on Jan. 30, 2013 at 3:06 PM
1 mom liked this

At 21 he can go have fun and go to school but he will have to have money to do so. with no job it goes away. He is an adult and you have to treat him as one. My daughter worked during the summer and was made at me because I did not give her "gas" money. Needless to say that was not a good conversation starter for her.


Quoting flika:

Quoting Akeso:

Oh hon it's just people preying on the person who they see as vulnerable. ppear vulnerable if possible, and have a little talk with your son to man up. He can't expect you to drop everything at work when it's the only job you've got supporting all of you. You're doing great Flika, I know what you mean about wanting to run away though and start fresh somewhere else.


my family tells him that to watch the little one isn't his responsibility,or even to work to help me out.that he is 21 and he should have fun and go to school.



tottaxi
by Gold Member on Jan. 30, 2013 at 5:21 PM
1 mom liked this

Your son has watched your ex treat you like shit and he is continuing the abuse.  You're not his freaking secretary and doing personal business at work will only make you end up unemployed.  Hell, where I work even answering a personal cell phone is grounds for dismissal.

If you've made eight sales I am pretty sure there is some major jealousy on the part of your co-workers.  Their problem, not yours.  Did you fight for the sale they took away?  Did they give you an explanation?

DS can either man up or ship out.  How much does he contribute to the household?  How much does he cost you?  Weigh the difference.  If he is more of a liability than an asset tell him to hit the road.  The relatives that say he should be having fun and going to school...are these Ex's family or yours?  People who are trying to undermine you..whether they are relatives or not...should be cut out of your life.  If DS wants to go along with them because they are saying what he wants to hear tell him to go live with them.  Let him be their problem. 

Ecoseem
by on Jan. 30, 2013 at 8:00 PM
2 moms liked this

I agree.  The cycle af abuse will be continued with the kids unless you put your foot down.  My best friend is having to go through it with her grown son, and she's been away from the abusive father for 10 years but her son still treats her the way he did.

Quoting tottaxi:

Your son has watched your ex treat you like shit and he is continuing the abuse.  You're not his freaking secretary and doing personal business at work will only make you end up unemployed.  Hell, where I work even answering a personal cell phone is grounds for dismissal.

If you've made eight sales I am pretty sure there is some major jealousy on the part of your co-workers.  Their problem, not yours.  Did you fight for the sale they took away?  Did they give you an explanation?

DS can either man up or ship out.  How much does he contribute to the household?  How much does he cost you?  Weigh the difference.  If he is more of a liability than an asset tell him to hit the road.  The relatives that say he should be having fun and going to school...are these Ex's family or yours?  People who are trying to undermine you..whether they are relatives or not...should be cut out of your life.  If DS wants to go along with them because they are saying what he wants to hear tell him to go live with them.  Let him be their problem. 


flika
by Bronze Member on Jan. 31, 2013 at 6:35 AM
Quoting tottaxi:

Your son contribute to the household? ow much does he cost you?  


the explanation I got was he spent an hour with your customer, he it's a salesperson, it's a half a deal.then I was checking my compensation report and I saw a $50 charge I have.because when there's a referral fee we pay$50- since it was a half a deal I should pay$25, the referral fee was 200$I asked the manager who approved it and he told me it was from another deal he owed the money and added it too my deal.so I called the salesman, he didn't answer or call so I went to a different manager and he raised hell!! He was mad!
My former boss told Me they could get in trouble because that's abusive bullying and stealing. I saw the face of the manager who approved it, he was worried.
These are 2 situations were only one could be solved. Now I know the one that pretends to be manager isn't, and the other one is a thief just like the rest! They probably figure I wouldn't notice or I wouldn't inquire. I don't understand why the att, T-Mobile, don't hire me.it's annoying!
My family is who says these things to my son.I don't talk to them but he does. His contribution is more with watching little ds and sometimes getting dd from school.if I'm late because of work, he will get her then bitch about gas and asking me to fill the tank too what I always reply I can't and I don't.he wants me to change his car and use the refunds for it.I told him I won't he has that car he wanted and its paid for but it uses so much gas that he complains ask the time and I'm using the car my dad gave him so he complains about that too.
He wants to move to California but now he wants me to go to.I told him no because I'm trying to finish school first and here is cheaper and I have my grant.he just wants me to facilitate the move across country! Sometimes I want him out of here but then so much more will fall on me that I take it because ds is only two and he needs to go to daycare and be picked up and my schedule is messed up
flika
by Bronze Member on Jan. 31, 2013 at 6:46 AM
Quoting RLSMOM59:

Why was your sale takI


treatment has improve significantly. Now the bad stuff is with the salesmen. So far the ones that are good, are really good.there's one that I work with often because he is way too honest.he won't steal from me or others.His given me my deals when he worked them and I know the others wouldn't, so I only work with him if I'm not there.
Cafe AmyS
by Head Admin on Jan. 31, 2013 at 4:53 PM
1 mom liked this

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