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Divorce & Starting Over Divorce & Starting Over

anyone do an agreed seperation before divorcing?

Posted by on Jan. 30, 2013 at 9:12 PM
  • 10 Replies

My husband and I haven't been living together almost a year now. I will be seeing him soon and talking to him. I either want us to divorce or have an agreed seperation. Been sitting on the fence awhile and tired of being in limbo. So I would like to know has anyone else done an agreed seperation? If so how did you guys come up with how long the seperation would be? What where the details? Do you feel it helped? Any words of wisdom for me? I do know that I really can't give things more than a year if we do this seperation and see if it makes us strong or just another path to divorce. Thank you.

by on Jan. 30, 2013 at 9:12 PM
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Replies (1-10):
grneyedormom
by Member on Jan. 31, 2013 at 9:55 PM
1 mom liked this
It costs just as much money to file for a legal separation as it does to file for divorce in my county. Pointless to pay twice when you could pay once and dissolve the marriage. Otherwise just separate as amicably as you can (if possible) and work out the details of your divorce.
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wannabpregnant
by on Jan. 31, 2013 at 9:57 PM
so you want to worth things out? sorry i don't understand
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soleikitty
by on Feb. 1, 2013 at 3:05 AM
No not legal seperation we love apart at this moment I do not want to live with him. Right now ww are somewhat seeing eachother still. I would like it to work out evrn though im sure it wont basically its a last ditch effort. Basically im thinking about Meeting him working out details on paper going by those guidelines than if things are still sucky after awhile divorcing
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soleikitty
by on Feb. 1, 2013 at 3:43 AM
K figured how to Word. Basically up till now we have been seeing eachother once every week Or two. We havent done anything to see if our marriage will last example we havent gone counseling Or set a time limit on how Long well try Or say if were just seeing eachother during seperation im just looking for guidance where to start and wgat thungs u guys did to try to make your relationship work while separated and if it helped Or not
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soleikitty
by on Feb. 1, 2013 at 12:42 PM
The term is actually a controlled seperation
soleikitty
by on Feb. 1, 2013 at 12:46 PM
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We only see eachother one time a week now Or one time every couple weeks we never discussed how the seperation would work if that makes sense. We dont see other people we do have sex sometimes we dont go out if we see eachother its. At my house sometimes we have dinner at my house sometimes. He spends the night
Monsita
by Bronze Member on Feb. 1, 2013 at 1:14 PM

I personally think a separation like your, would not help to save the marriage.....neither it would made it to  be over!

Why?  because it is very convenient to be marriage like this; , live apart, not to work on any issue, see each other occasionally and have a date.....

Moving on from this path is going to need lost of LOVE AND COMPROMISING!!!

 

rubybabypsychic
by on Feb. 1, 2013 at 5:50 PM

i understand we tried a LONG time while livign together and married i am no longer willing to try living together. 

soleikitty
by on Feb. 6, 2013 at 7:19 AM
Yes small doses no kids my finances are great he doesnt work. Hesitation honestly I want to know ive done everything I can to try to make it work. Counseling seperate yes together not at this time
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ashleigh24
by on Feb. 7, 2013 at 1:54 PM
I honestly don't think separation helps a marriage at all. My soon to be ex and I tried to work on things for 2 years then finally he was stressed to the max so he decided to move out. I couldn't stop him and we finally agreed we would separate and each have time to think about what we wanted. Well turns out my life is soooo much less stressful and better without him here. Same for him. He is happy in his new appt and I'm happy here. We decided friends is better for us and don't get me wrong I still love him and I always will but we just can't make it work. Not sure if it is bad timing or what but we can't stand each other when we live together. We have changed too much and I honestly don't think he likes my personality anymore. We were married at 21 and now I'm 26! I think we were too young and dumb but I'm glad it happened because I am who I am today because of it. We will legally be divorced march 15th. Yay!!! I have heard very few situations were a separation really helps but it is possible. My soon to be ex has a roommate that is separated and has been for 2 years but he is done she just won't divorce him. I think life is way too short to be miserable! I am the happiest I've been in a very long time :-) good luck with whatever you decide but don't put your life on hold for him. Live your life and have fun I say!!
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