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Divorce & Starting Over Divorce & Starting Over

New... Finally dealing with my divorce

Posted by on Feb. 2, 2013 at 5:30 AM
  • 1 Replies

A little background... I am 23 and I am a mom to 2 little boys ages 2 and 4. Their dad walked out when I was pregnant with my 2yo (almost 3 years ago) at my ultrasound because he wasn't a girl. He had another family in another state while we were married and has just recently tried to reconnect with his 2 boys. My sons are 2 and 4 his daughter is 3. He has been in his daughters life since she was born (mostly without my knowledge because I didn't know about her) but not my 2 boys. I have been working with a lawyer on my divorce since June 2010 and just now have I finally gotten into a courtroom about ANYTHING to do with it. They say I should be able to get my divorce in the next 6 months. He put the divorce off by asking for paternity tests and claiming family members died and that he lost his job because his boss went to jail or he was going to school and couldn't make it to court (none of which he could prove to the court).


So I went to court Monday because my ex wanted paternity tests (which I agreed to) and we got the results back that both kids are his. He was already on both birth certificates he was just trying to waste time which worked because he wasted a year on it. The judge made him pay for them himself because he didn't see why they were necessary. So we got the results back and went to court and decided that he wanted to be the good dad after being gone for almost 3 years and wanted the kids for 4 hours every Saturday. The court told him no chance he'll get that because the kids don't know him. So he asked for 3 hours on Saturday. The court said no. He asked for 3 hours every other Saturday. The court told him no one in there right mind will give him 2 little boys he hasn't seen in 3 years for any period of time without the kids getting to know him and asked me what I thought and I told them I would agree to supervised visitation until the boys get comfortable with him. The court set it up as he can have 1 hour supervised visitation at a counseling center if he pays for it and sets it up. So now my little boys will be seeing their dad (my youngest has never met this man because he walked out when I was pregnant) for 1 hour with a counselor a week if he sets it up. I'm not sure if he will or not but I don't feel comfortable with him taking my kids who don't know him somewhere I don't know (he has a CT and MA address listed) when he can't even tell the court the truth about where he lives... My kids are 2 and 4, he has been gone almost 3 years and I think this is a good way for them to start a relationship with their dad if he actually follows through. I am a littler apprehensive since he didn't follow through with the visitation I gave him last time before my 2yo was born where I was bringing Ryan to see him and he was busy in another state so couldn't be bothered to spend a few hours with his son during the week.

by on Feb. 2, 2013 at 5:30 AM
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tottaxi
by Gold Member on Feb. 2, 2013 at 9:46 AM

I hope your divorce is final very quickly.  Your stbx sounds like a real pos.  

Did he marry the ow (mother of the dd)?  While bigamy is against the law, it doesn't mean that he hasn't done it.  You might want to see if there is a marriage recorded in that area.  That would seal his fate.

With any luck I hope he disappears from you and your kids life for good.  NEVER let him have the boys on his own.  He would have to take you to court in order to force the situation and from what you have shared with us I really don't see him doing that.

Good luck.  I hope all this craziness ends for you soon.

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