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New here and am un-officially separated (Longish post)

Posted by on Feb. 10, 2013 at 4:07 PM
  • 5 Replies


Hi Everyone. So my ex husband and I are in an un-offical seperation. What I mean is since "offically" seperating costs money we have our own agreement. He moved out and we either meet or he comes to the apartment we formally shared to see our daughter every two weeks (more on why our daughter doesn't go there a little later). He moved out after eleven years together and almost four years married. It happened less than a month ago, it's kind of a long time together I was really thinking we were meant to be together and have a life together. Our DD is three years old and since he became un employed six months ago he has moved back in with his parents. As nice as his parents seem they can be very nasty and manipulative at times and neither my ex nor I feel comfortable having our daughter around them for long periods of time so he has to drive 30 min to an hour to see her. I really miss him I wanted to work on the realtionship but he said A. He has fallen out of love with me and B. since he has it wasn't a healthy relationship. He said it had been a while since he could actually say "I love you" and mean it but didn't no exactly how long.angry

Also that he wanted to be friends, because he still wants to know me and for the sake of DD. But it's weird being around him now I just want to snuggle him and kiss like we used to even though he has spent some time what feels like decieving me when he actually felt nothing. I am just so lost, frusterated and don't know what to do.

sad





 reading Carrie



by on Feb. 10, 2013 at 4:07 PM
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Replies (1-5):
keedie972
by on Feb. 10, 2013 at 7:28 PM
This is the exact same thing my husband said to me..he is moving out Friday. We have been married 11 years with two kids. I understand how you are feeling.
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MamaCarrieD
by on Feb. 11, 2013 at 11:06 AM

Wow I'm sorry your going through it as well keedie972. Starting to wonder if there's a book they are getting lines from.

simple frown 

Akeso
by Bronze Member on Feb. 11, 2013 at 2:35 PM

Also unofficially separated. Got that too. "I feel nothing." Just a whole lot of rejection... at every opportunity. Got no advice but try and get over him. It takes two to make a relationship and if he isn't willing, there's really nowhere to go.

tazzeetwins
by on Feb. 11, 2013 at 2:48 PM

I guess that's me too. We've been unoffically sparated for 5 years and it sucks. There's days when I miss him like crazy and want him here and other days (like the blizzard we had over the weekend and he wasn't here to help) when I could CARE LESS if I EVER see him again. We have a house and I can't afford to buy him out and I'm not sure if I would get it free and clear. (If I could I would divorce him in a second, because the child support he would have to pay would cover the mortgage as well as some of the house expenses!)

tottaxi
by Battle Weary on Feb. 11, 2013 at 3:42 PM

 


Quoting tazzeetwins:

I guess that's me too. We've been unoffically sparated for 5 years and it sucks. There's days when I miss him like crazy and want him here and other days (like the blizzard we had over the weekend and he wasn't here to help) when I could CARE LESS if I EVER see him again. We have a house and I can't afford to buy him out and I'm not sure if I would get it free and clear. (If I could I would divorce him in a second, because the child support he would have to pay would cover the mortgage as well as some of the house expenses!)

What are your State's laws in regards to division of marital property?  Are you now paying the mortgage?  How much equity is in the home?  Are both of your names on the mortgage?  Are you paying taxes and insurance on the property?

 

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