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Divorce & Starting Over Divorce & Starting Over

Who sleeps where when they visit dad?

Posted by on Feb. 14, 2013 at 9:26 AM
  • 15 Replies

I've heard there are rules the court follows as far as having a bed for each child, different age siblings sleeping together, etc.? Anyone have experience with this? 

I have a DD7 and DS14. Until now, she usually slept in bed with papi and he slept on a futon in the living room. The court ordered him to buy a bed for her, but he never did. So for the past couple months, he's had them sleeping together on the futon. I hear lots of complaints about that uncomfortable futon. 

Now he's moving to another city. I'm pretty sure he's moving in with his gf (which is why he's moving), but he's telling us that he's renting a room with a buddy for now. If I call him on that bluff, I would like to know where he plans for the kids to sleep.

So my question is, can I require that he provide a proper bed for each one? 

Where is my line between watching out for my kids' best interests and becoming a meddling b*tch?

by on Feb. 14, 2013 at 9:26 AM
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Replies (1-10):
michiganmom5150
by on Feb. 14, 2013 at 9:28 AM
I think you can! They are getting to that age where sleeping together is not cool. They are different sexes. Mine have their own rooms at Dad's. they share a room at my house. Dad is much more well off than we are:/
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Lurion
by on Feb. 14, 2013 at 9:33 AM

That's what I thought. I mean, my son is 14...

This is the kicker--they each have their own bedroom here, but dad has been living in a 1br apartment for the last 2 years. If he moves in with his gf, they're thinking about getting a 3br place and sharing expenses. 

However, since this started out as an affair and they have kept their relationship a secret, the kids have never met her. So now he's trying to hide the fact that they're moving in together, and saying that he's really renting a room from a buddy. 

"Tangled web" is the story of his life. lol


Quoting michiganmom5150:

I think you can! They are getting to that age where sleeping together is not cool. They are different sexes. Mine have their own rooms at Dad's. they share a room at my house. Dad is much more well off than we are:/



redheadstar
by on Feb. 14, 2013 at 10:57 AM

Me and my ex live 400 plus miles away, when he comes to visit he stays at a nice hotel with the kids, kids like it.

Lurion
by on Feb. 14, 2013 at 11:00 AM

How do you handle timeshare? How often, where, etc.?


Quoting redheadstar:

Me and my ex live 400 plus miles away, when he comes to visit he stays at a nice hotel with the kids, kids like it.



redheadstar
by on Feb. 14, 2013 at 11:04 AM

he has liberal visits, i told him he could visit anytime he wants,,,but so far he only came once last year..

Stephd710
by Bronze Member on Feb. 14, 2013 at 11:07 AM
1 mom liked this

Omg dude, my ex is the same way.  He tried to tell me when I kicked him out that he was living in his car.  Uh huh.  riiiiiiiight.  He was actually living with the girl he cheated with.  I didnt care honestly, we got divorced, i dont care who he lives with.  But her family hated him so he had to hide it.  He would park his car up the street and then walk 2 blocks to her place.  I saw him walking several times (the gf lives close to my babysitter).  Hilarious.  Must suck to live life in a big ol secret. Oh and he goes to his moms and stays there when he has my girls.  Fine with me!!!  Seems like alot of trouble, but not my problem. 


Quoting Lurion:

That's what I thought. I mean, my son is 14...

This is the kicker--they each have their own bedroom here, but dad has been living in a 1br apartment for the last 2 years. If he moves in with his gf, they're thinking about getting a 3br place and sharing expenses. 

However, since this started out as an affair and they have kept their relationship a secret, the kids have never met her. So now he's trying to hide the fact that they're moving in together, and saying that he's really renting a room from a buddy. 

"Tangled web" is the story of his life. lol


Quoting michiganmom5150:

I think you can! They are getting to that age where sleeping together is not cool. They are different sexes. Mine have their own rooms at Dad's. they share a room at my house. Dad is much more well off than we are:/





Lurion
by on Feb. 14, 2013 at 11:08 AM

:( 

In our case he'll be just 2 1/2 hours away. I'm proposing two weekends a month--one there and one here (so the kids don't have to miss their activities). Then maybe several weeks in the summer. I was thinking of the hotel thing, too. Kids would love it! He used to work for a hotel chain so we got to stay at some great places. 


Quoting redheadstar:

he has liberal visits, i told him he could visit anytime he wants,,,but so far he only came once last year..



redheadstar
by on Feb. 14, 2013 at 11:11 AM

The hotel thing really is not that bad, gets the kids out, the father has privacy with them, they get to go to nice restaurants and I dont mind driving them around to the State Park, movies, roller rink or etc...

newbie1198
by Bronze Member on Feb. 14, 2013 at 11:11 AM

My dd is  7 and My ds will turn 15 next month when they go to their dad's my dd sleeps on the couch and my son sleeps on a futon.  My ex married is mistress one month after our divorce they now live in an old little trailer (example one of the bathrooms had a lg. hole in the floor), anyway she has 2 dd one is 19 and one is 12, when my kids are there the her girls sleep together in her bed, my son is on the oldest girls futon (that is her normal bed), my dd is on the couch, and he & the mistress(new wife) sleep on a blow up air mattress in the living room floor.  Oh and they had a baby together in Nov.-we were divorced in Apr. (do the math) anyway it sleeps in a bassinett in the living Rm. because there is no bedroom for her.  And the 12 yr. old has no bed in her room.  Some fine set up dont you think?  At my home the kids each have their own rooms my dd is a pink garden themed room across from mine, and my son's is upstairs in the finshed attics with lots of posters and all his music equipment.

Lurion
by on Feb. 14, 2013 at 11:12 AM

That's what I was thinking. However, if it's once a month plus gas, I'm worried he won't follow through b/c of the expense. He claims to be taking a $10K pay cut in moving. 

I actually offered for him to stay here at my house with the kids and I'd stay with a friend or in a hotel. He probably won't go for that either.


Quoting redheadstar:

The hotel thing really is not that bad, gets the kids out, the father has privacy with them, they get to go to nice restaurants and I dont mind driving them around to the State Park, movies, roller rink or etc...



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