Ex won't be supportive of daughter getting counseling
I have been divorced for almost 3 years and share custody 50/50 with my ex. Kids (dd, age 17, ds, age 13) rotate between me and my ex on a weekly basis (week with me, next week with him, back with me for a week, and so on). I asked for the divorce after years of unhappiness and emotional abuse from my ex. My ex and I have a terrible relationship still and communicate almost exclusively via email. My dd has been struggling for the past year now with anxiety and is often very stressed due to school and sports. I had been trying to get her into counseling for the past 3 years and she would never agree, and my ex would say "I don't support her to go to counseling. She doesn't need to go" even though she obviously could have benefitted from it. A few months ago, she finally started saying that she needed help with her anxiety and then she finally did admit to me that she wanted to go to counseling. I set up the appts thru my employer (an Employee Assistance Program) so the first 3 visits would even be free. She did not want me to tell my ex about it. Then, she was staying with him and at 1 in the morning, was sending me text msgs because she was having what seemed like a panic attack. She admitted she had been having them regularly. She did not want to tell her dad. She asked if I could bring her to the medical dr the next day and to not tell her dad. Even though she was going to have her first counseling appt in a few days, she said she could not wait and needed help and thought the medical dr could help her. I did bring her the next day and she was prescribed Zoloft. She still did not want me to tell her dad. She will be 18 in a few months so I agreed. A couple of days later, after she went to the first counseling appt, she agreed to let me tell her dad. Literally, just a week had gone by, from the time I took her to the dr to this counseling appt. He immediately started sending me all sorts of crappy emails on how he didn't support her going to counseling or going to the dr. I explained she had asked me to keep it in confidence first and in a few months, she'd be an adult and wouldnt have to tell either of us. I kept trying to stress how important it was that she finally reached out to one of us to get her help, yet he refuses to see it that way and instead just says I violated rules by not telling him. My main concern was getting her help and he keeps sending me crappy emails about it. I can see that she really needs help - I've seen her start to get so agitated when she looks like she is going to have a panic or anxiety attack. The fact that she is willing and eager to go to counseling is a big step and a mature step. I sent him an email today that she has a counseling appt next week (it will be her third visit) and he sent me yet another email that he doesn't support it and that he'd be forwarding me the bill....so I assume he's telling me he isn't going to help pay for her counseling. I'm so steamed and just baffled that he isn't supportive of her getting counseling....WTH??? I could go on for hours on all the crappy things he does. She has even told him that he's a big cause of her stress. She sent me a text today stating that he doesn't believe she has a problem. It is SO ridiculous. Obviously, if she had felt comfortable talking to him about her problem, she would have woken him up when she was having a panic attack, but instead she sends me the text msgs and asked ME to get her help in the morning and to NOT tell him right away. Was that so wrong on my part...to be more concerned about a nearly 18 year old that about notifying him about the counseling and dr, especially when he wasn't supportive of counseling in the past? Has anyone else had to deal with this kind of issue...where your ex hasn't been supportive of one of your kids getting professional help? I just DO NOT understand why he would make an issue of this and isn't instead telling her daughter she is doing the right thing in getting help??