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new to this group my story sort of long

Posted by on Feb. 25, 2013 at 11:35 AM
  • 2 Replies

where do i start??

i have been on cafemom for almost 4 years but i have not been very active. i actually met my bestfriend on here who has become a major part of my life.

my name is shawna and i am 24, 

i have a 3.5 year old daughter and i am married but recently have filed for divorce 

i have been married for 4 years and had been together for 6 almost 7 years i was the step mom of 4 older children who i raised from ages 2 1 and 10 mnth old twins

 i thought things where ok but i guess not. he started to go out alot and drinking  and then one day he had a new phone, it was an iphone one he had been wanting for ever well i couldnt get one because he refused to pay a phone bill and it was shut off and i owed that phone company money. then all of a sudden he started to text and text alot he never use to text it just wasnt him 

long story short.... i found out he had been hanging with this chick he had been working with we got into a fight that turned physical, he punched and hit me ended up in jail and i left him in the 5 years we had been together he had never hit me pushed me around a little but only when drunk which was rare, NOT MAKING EXCUSE HERE, so when thathappened i was very very shocked hurt and just out of my mind , 

he begged me to come back and that everything would be ok he would stop drinking going out and stop hanging and talking to this girl 

but i was cautious i waited and took my time i decided to come back but it wasnt for almost 3 mnths later

and apparently i had taken to long... but he then said i didnt  well to make this part a bit shorter.... from the end of january to may i suspected he was cheating on me, i was working and taking care of the kids and then i decided i was going to leave again but then found out i needed surgery... i had to have my tonsils taken out my sinuses opened and a septoplasy i was suppose to only be off for 2 weeks but recovery took about 6  mind you i had this all done at once him and i had been separated since may but still living together 

well i found out in the middle of july that he in fact was cheating on me and i only found this out after he came home  and had been beat up so bad. apparently he got into an argument with his woman ( who knew about us and that we where together and still was willing to keep her relationship with him for those mnths secret and even lied to my face that they where just friends) 

i dont know why but i was separated from him but still sleeping with him and one night he said to me in the middle of sex he stopped looked me in the eye and said idk how to tell you this but i love her too you are number one but i love her more, thats when i really had had it  i didnt have a job anymore because i hadnt been there a year so i had to quit for the surgery and i applied for governemnt housing 

i got in but couldnt get into a place until october well i got a job in august and the repoed my truck in late october because he didnt pay the truck payment while i was out sick because he knew i wasnt happy and eventually would leave but was telling me it was being paid, 

see when i moved i only took my bed my daughter a love seat and a couple other things 

not even a week later he was begging me to come back but i just couldnt back track and i knew mnths ago it was truely over. i deserved someone better someone who would not go to work at 10am get off at 7 pm shower and leave until 6am just gto come have sex with me go to sleep and then go to work he was spending all night with her.

i decided i was ready and actually ready for a long time to move on 

and my bestfriend,,, the one i met on here i ended up starting to talk to her brother, we started as just friends always talked could confide in each other and then it turned to love and he is an amazing person and has become a bestfriend!

ironically his name is shawn and mine is shawna my last name is mil and his is miller LOL 

i just now had the money to file for divorvce and i did it just last week. 

by on Feb. 25, 2013 at 11:35 AM
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Replies (1-2):
Cafe AmyS
by on Feb. 25, 2013 at 12:51 PM

Congratulations Shawna on both filing for divorce and getting away from someone who was emotionally not there for you and on finding love again.  I'm truly happy for you.

by on Feb. 28, 2013 at 4:32 PM

Yes, congrats on leaving someone that never deserved you.  I, too, was cheated on.  Betrayal is the worst kind of heartache there is.  Trust me, things will get better for you.  Cheaters never prosper. 

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