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Divorce & Starting Over Divorce & Starting Over

So he got the settlement proposal...

Posted by on Feb. 27, 2013 at 3:21 PM
  • 21 Replies
Besides the money he has to give me...his other issue is me keeping the last name and hyphenating with my maiden name. I told him I want to keep the last name of my.girls. To which he replied "You don't deserve to have their last name!" And he walked away.

I knew he would be pissed but that was NOT my intention. I had a discussion with DD9 and she wanted me to have her last name too. I want to be associated in some way to them that people know right off that I am their mom. I have a hard time with DD17 because we do not share a last name.
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by on Feb. 27, 2013 at 3:21 PM
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tottaxi
by Gold Member on Feb. 27, 2013 at 3:54 PM

That seems pretty petty on his part.  The option to change or keep your name is pretty standard in a divorce.

Would your DD17 want to change her name to yours?  Name changes aren't difficult at all.

 


 


Thank you for not "liking" or quoting my posts or replies.  I do not wish to appear on your profile page or be linked to this group through an internet search engine any more than necessary.  Taxi

RLSMOM59
by Silver Member on Feb. 27, 2013 at 5:55 PM

name changes aren't difficult but are a pain. If you have bills or anything in your husband's name and you need to change it you have to give that creditor a copy of the divorce. When I got married I just added the last name and moved on. When we got divorce I didn't worry about changing names because I am too established in my career to do so. The other reason I didn't go back to my maiden name is the need to supply all creditors with a copy of the final divorce papers to do so. I think this is another way for him to make you do silly stuff because he can. i would refuse noting first hand knowledge of problems. The judge may see it your way.

tottaxi
by Gold Member on Feb. 27, 2013 at 7:31 PM

I don't think he can force you to change your name.  I think it is YOUR choice and doesn't have jack shit to do with him.  Bottomline is that he is still trying to exert control over you and push your buttons.  He needs to get over himself.  He started this.  You'll finish it...the way YOU want it to go.

Just learn to smile and laugh at him when he pulls this crap.

cowboygal
by New Member on Feb. 27, 2013 at 11:57 PM
My ex was pissed I kept his name too. He told me to change it. I told him HELL NO! He cannot make you change your name. That is your choice. In my case, I kept it as part revenge for his cheating and kicking us out.
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BeAmour
by on Feb. 28, 2013 at 12:04 AM
1 mom liked this
Ex-husband tried that with me. He demanded to the courts that I will not keep his name. The judge laughed and said, that's up to her.

I chose to retain my maiden name because I didn't want to honor his name.
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MommaNuney
by on Feb. 28, 2013 at 9:52 AM
I am choosing to hyphenate because I want to honor my girls last name but still have my maiden name attached.

Not thinking of it as honoring his name.


Quoting BeAmour:

Ex-husband tried that with me. He demanded to the courts that I will not keep his name. The judge laughed and said, that's up to her.



I chose to retain my maiden name because I didn't want to honor his name.
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MommaNuney
by on Feb. 28, 2013 at 9:56 AM
Yes I can tell he's still trying to control! And he can't in this matter and it's not sitting well with him.

I am really learning to laugh his selfishness off.

This last month before our finalize date is going to be full of him trying to pull things.

He's fighting against almost everything in the final proposal...no surprise.


Quoting tottaxi:

I don't think he can force you to change your name.  I think it is YOUR choice and doesn't have jack shit to do with him.  Bottomline is that he is still trying to exert control over you and push your buttons.  He needs to get over himself.  He started this.  You'll finish it...the way YOU want it to go.


Just learn to smile and laugh at him when he pulls this crap.

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MommaNuney
by on Mar. 13, 2013 at 10:33 AM

 He's at it again this morning! Told me he wants this final on April 2nd and better not be drawn out. I told him it won't...he either will agree to the settlement proposal (which has been revised twice) or the courts will decide.   He informed me that he will not be giving me a huge amount of money. 

He is also throwing a fit that the car he purchased my daughter (17) isn't on either one of our balance sheets.  Because it's her car and the title is in his name!! He wants it put on my side of the balance sheet!!! Since it's in his name it would have to go on his...to which he said if it goes on his and I don't put it on mine he will take it back!!!  It's a wash and the car isn't even worth the 2300 he paid for it!!!

He also found out that I sold the wedding ring.  Which he said if taken to a pawn shop would be worth 3000. Well he was WRONG, I only got 700!!  He also said there is value in my Lia Sophia jewelry...what an idiot...it's costume and has really no value!!!  He was not happy that I sold it (to pay bills) and said that it was against the law!

I am going to have to ignore his calls again because he is getting ugly (no surprise)!!  My lawyer keeps saying "No wonder you are divorcing this guy!"

tottaxi
by Gold Member on Mar. 13, 2013 at 10:54 AM

What a whiner.  I agree with your attorney...it's no wonder you are divorcing this guy :)

He's not too bright...what one pays at the jewelers for a wedding ring is not what one would be able to sell it for.  Mark up in jewelery is huge.  And how is it his business?  A wedding ring is a gift, isn't it?  And since when is selling costume jewelery against the law?!  That is laughable!!

You are wise not to engage.  Nothing you can say will help him see reason.  As far as the car that was given to your daughter, if push comes to shove let him have it.  I don't think it will come to this.  It was a gift to her and seems very petty of him to take it back.  That alone should show a judge what kind of a jerk he is.

MommaNuney
by on Mar. 13, 2013 at 11:46 AM

 Oh Taxi...I am just so sick and tired of his crap right now! 

Tells me if I want the business that I can have it.  He said he already got the best thing from the business (his GF who he met through it).  PUKE!!!  His little jabs are getting very old. 

Like you said...the judge will see what kind of jerk he is if he continues this behavior.

 

Oh...I suddenly (after 9 months) got our Altra Visa Credit card bill in the my mail yesterday!!! He has been ordered to pay that and it is on his balance sheet!  I could see him trying to pull something...slimey...pure slime!!!

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