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I need some advice

Posted by on Feb. 27, 2013 at 3:53 PM
  • 5 Replies

So I filed for divorce last june. So far stbx hasn't looked very good infront of the judge (pointless motions and dragging out the case) Last week we (laywer and I) filed to use child support services b/c he's been having issues paying his cs on time and in full. At the same hearing for the motion (which was granted) stbx's lawyer dropped him due to lack of communication and payment. So he's currently without a lawyer. My lawyer is suppose to be turning in our mda and parenting plan this week. we haven't done mediation yet, that's the next step.

here's the deal... stbx refuses to sign anything other than 50/50 custody only valid until ds's 4th birthday (18months old now) and Zero child support.

we are drafting every other weekend, and child support of 560. which is the agreed temp order in place now. That has been in place since last aug.

I also happen to be 19 weeks pregnant, and it's not his. he still hasn't figured out that I'm pregnant, and I should probably tell him soon.

also, we live in different states - he once told me that his lawyer said that there was no way he'd get 50/50 as long as I'm south of the state line. He"s tried offering to pay my rent and bills if I'd move back up to the same county. he doesn't have a case. drug charge at 18. many text messages that are just awful. refusing to bring ds back from visitation (which lost him custody completely once for about a month and a half) him admiting to smoking pot, and him taking ds out with him past midnight to a friends house to drink and refusing to let me come pick ds up or know where he was (while we were still together)

so what would you do? sign the 50/50 and go back to court in 2 years. or follow through with mediation and see where it heads? He's made it very clear if I don't agree to 50/50 this will go on as long as he can make it

by on Feb. 27, 2013 at 3:53 PM
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Replies (1-5):
Stephd710
by Bronze Member on Feb. 27, 2013 at 5:09 PM
1 mom liked this

Dont sign it!!  It will hurt your chances of getting it changed in the next couple years.  Its alot harder to take away cutsody once its been given. 

slinkerpon11
by on Feb. 27, 2013 at 5:40 PM

has anyone else been through a divorce while pregnant with another man's baby?

RLSMOM59
by Silver Member on Feb. 27, 2013 at 6:03 PM
1 mom liked this

Normally the divorce is put on hold until the baby is born and a dna test is performed. As for custody let him fight it out without his attorney. He will find it harder than normal and a waste of time on his part. I would request wage garnishment for the CS because that is what the original agreement is now. I would also point out the reason for not wanting 50/50 is his drug charges, not adhering to previously agreed upon visitation orders, and drinking problem. JMO though

slinkerpon11
by on Feb. 27, 2013 at 6:39 PM


Quoting RLSMOM59:

Normally the divorce is put on hold until the baby is born and a dna test is performed. As for custody let him fight it out without his attorney. He will find it harder than normal and a waste of time on his part. I would request wage garnishment for the CS because that is what the original agreement is now. I would also point out the reason for not wanting 50/50 is his drug charges, not adhering to previously agreed upon visitation orders, and drinking problem. JMO though

he is responsible for setting up a payment plan with child support services now. so if they don't get their money he will be held accountable, which is better for my situation b/c he works with an artist in a studio and could easily go from payroll to personal check if he wanted to. they don't involve themself with if he has a job or how much he makes, just that they get the right amount by the right date.
and will being pregnant really hurt my case? so far I have done everything right. my lawyer said he could probably sign a waiver that says he knows he's not the dad so we can move forward. but after doing everything right, I'm just nervous I guess about looking bad to the judge.

dawncs
by on Feb. 27, 2013 at 11:28 PM
1 mom liked this

Do not sign it. He is digging himself a hole with the judge regarding his conduct in court. Judges have been known to get angry over difficult parties regarding child support or even child custody cases. I would not trust him to pay for anything that is not garnished from his paycheck at all. Judges have seen plenty of men like your ex wanting 50/50 custody just to get out of child support and being responsible. You should use his past against him in him bing irresponsible. You can request to the judge that he get a hair and urine sample drug test and threaten to have it over his head. Even though it costs money, you could request a psych evaluation and custody evaluaion to help you some on this.

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