He knows the schedule. He knows he never accommodates you so your helping him out is iffy at best. Has it occurred to you that he has done this so he doesn't have to see his older kids OR to get out of watching yours by either having you change your plans or him leaving them with his sister or mom? He wins no matter what the outcome and you lose. I think he is manipulating a situation...for what purpose I am sure I couldn't guess, but he's a grown man who either planned poorly or just didn't care what havoc it created.
I would tell him no. That if he had worked with you when you had a need, you would have been more likely to work with him on this, but now you feel no motivation to change your plans. Unless his sister or his mom are real douches, it may be better than having them spend the weekend with him anyway.
Don't feel bad about adhering to the schedule. He knows it as well as you do and obviously has his own agenda.
Quoting tottaxi:He knows the schedule. He knows he never accommodates you so your helping him out is iffy at best. Has it occurred to you that he has done this so he doesn't have to see his older kids OR to get out of watching yours by either having you change your plans or him leaving them with his sister or mom? He wins no matter what the outcome and you lose. I think he is manipulating a situation...for what purpose I am sure I couldn't guess, but he's a grown man who either planned poorly or just didn't care what havoc it created.
I would tell him no. That if he had worked with you when you had a need, you would have been more likely to work with him on this, but now you feel no motivation to change your plans. Unless his sister or his mom are real douches, it may be better than having them spend the weekend with him anyway.
Don't feel bad about adhering to the schedule. He knows it as well as you do and obviously has his own agenda.
If his family is nice, they probably won't mind the kids spending time with them.
Don't feel bad about doing something for yourself once in a while. Don't change YOUR plans because your ex is a selfish ass. Like I said before, he knows the schedule and sure as hell didn't consider you when he made his plans. He thinks he can take you for granted and plays on your guilt. F that.
The St. Patrick's Day plans sound great!!!! With the drinking that goes on at the parade and afterwards in this area I can see why it is an adults only deal. You made plans for this one because you knew you wouldn't have the kids that weekend. For all you know your EX knew about your plans and is just jacking you around.
Let the kids go visit grandma and auntie and they will have a good time...no mom, no dad, just grandma! That's my son's idea of a REALLY fun weekend!!!!
Quoting tottaxi:If his family is nice, they probably won't mind the kids spending time with them.
Don't feel bad about doing something for yourself once in a while. Don't change YOUR plans because your ex is a selfish ass. Like I said before, he knows the schedule and sure as hell didn't consider you when he made his plans. He thinks he can take you for granted and plays on your guilt. F that.
The St. Patrick's Day plans sound great!!!! With the drinking that goes on at the parade and afterwards in this area I can see why it is an adults only deal. You made plans for this one because you knew you wouldn't have the kids that weekend. For all you know your EX knew about your plans and is just jacking you around.
Let the kids go visit grandma and auntie and they will have a good time...no mom, no dad, just grandma! That's my son's idea of a REALLY fun weekend!!!!
There you go. He's just trying to "rain on your parade". He probably has his own St. Patrick's Day plans!!! Do you still associate with people that he has contact with? Could he know what your plans are? This isn't even about me and it pisses me off!!!! LOL!
He will try to guilt you into feeling bad. Don't buy into it.
I'm reading Dr. Phil's new book "Life Code". It talks about people like your ex (and mine). What is happening now is so typical of this type of person. His behavior is pretty predicatable if you think about it. He's probably effectively manipulated you in the past...convinced you that by not going along with him that you are a terrible mother. They use this against us because they know that our children are EVERYTHING to us. He'll try to shame you. He'll tell you how selfish you are. And the whole time he is just pushing buttons to hurt you...and "win".
Talk to his mom and say that you are so happy that the kids are going to get to spend some time with her. Let her know that if she needs you to just give her a call. You ARE a good mom. Having some fun once in a while doesn't make you a bad person, a bad mom, or a selfish one. Your ex is a dick.
Quoting tottaxi:There you go. He's just trying to "rain on your parade". He probably has his own St. Patrick's Day plans!!! Do you still associate with people that he has contact with? Could he know what your plans are? This isn't even about me and it pisses me off!!!! LOL!
He will try to guilt you into feeling bad. Don't buy into it.
I'm reading Dr. Phil's new book "Life Code". It talks about people like your ex (and mine). What is happening now is so typical of this type of person. His behavior is pretty predicatable if you think about it. He's probably effectively manipulated you in the past...convinced you that by not going along with him that you are a terrible mother. They use this against us because they know that our children are EVERYTHING to us. He'll try to shame you. He'll tell you how selfish you are. And the whole time he is just pushing buttons to hurt you...and "win".
Talk to his mom and say that you are so happy that the kids are going to get to spend some time with her. Let her know that if she needs you to just give her a call. You ARE a good mom. Having some fun once in a while doesn't make you a bad person, a bad mom, or a selfish one. Your ex is a dick.
Probably asking the mother for money and if he got it still wouldn't show up and blame it on you.
Good for you not buying into his bs. It's a heckuva lot easier to see through their manipulations when we don't have to deal with it on a daily basis. My ex is now surprised when he realizes I am no longer under his spell. And that makes me smile :)
My ex is a narcacist, too. He never truly takes responsibility for his many devious and dispicable actions. He's never even regretted what he's done to me and our daughter.
I agree with Taxi. Your ex is just trying to manipulate the situtation. Double on 'F-That'! You deserve to take a break from your kids and have a life every now and then. And, since the ex is being a DB yet again, ask the ex-IL's to watch the kids. Sooner or later they will notice that the ex (their son) is being a DB too many times and get him involved with his kids. I hope it's the latter. My ex-IL's have cut off my ex since his affair. They would bend over backwards to help me out anytime I needed help. Salt of the earth. Too bad their seed ended up being devious.
Good luck to you!
some encouragement for the ladies .............
- Stephd710
on Mar. 2, 2013 at 7:26 PM