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Divorce & Starting Over Divorce & Starting Over

So I finally filed for child support for my 8 year old son and we Have court in a few weeks. Three weeks after I filed for support, his dad filed for custody. I'm having a hard time with this because, he rarely visits and doesn't make much of an attempt to see him. I know he will probably get him every other weekend. Is there any advice on how to get this to not happen?

When he does have our son, he yells at him constantly and pretty much ignores him or puts him off on others.

by on Mar. 3, 2013 at 5:00 PM
Replies (11-12):
tottaxi
by Gold Member on Mar. 3, 2013 at 7:51 PM

I hope I helped.  It won't be easy, but it never hurts to try!  Let us know how this goes!!!  Good luck!

RLSMOM59
by Silver Member on Mar. 3, 2013 at 9:58 PM

So your reply would be your son is with you XXX amount of hours a day, XXX days a week. You take him to all appointments, attend all school functions, etc. You do let father know about child activities too and let it end there.

Don't point out that he doesn't give him meds or baths. Heck my children don't take baths everyday and they are much older. :-). 

Quoting malibucj:

I agree. I just meant I documented everything.
But his father fails to bathe him, give him his medication, etc.

I do want them to have a relationship, I just know his father is not allowing that to happen easily and in a healthy way.

And on that, I am the one who takes care him day to day. I'm the one who makes sure his well being is taken care of. I do every single thing for him. His dad sometimes sees him only 5 minutes a week.


Quoting tottaxi:

When attempting to get sole custody you have to try to refrain from just pointing out his negatives.  You need to focus on the fact that you have been his primary caregiver AND...and this is important..that you are willing to facilitate a relationship between your son and his dad.  If you come across too negatively it could be perceived as you being vindictive.  The court won't like that.  They want it clear that it is not about anything other than what is in the best interests of the child.  And sometimes what WE feel to be in the child's best interest is not the court's definition.  They believe that two parents...even if one is a pos...is best and that is why your willingness to facilitate the relationship is very important.




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