You are wise not to respond. That is what he is wanting you to do...he's trying to goad you into doing something that he can use against you. He's a bully.
With his shitty attitude and obvious inability to communicate with you properly what type of custody do you hope to have? It looks as though he is attempting to gain sole custody and limit your time with the kids (whatever his motive...it is very likely as you feel it is...a financial one). Be sure that when you are in mediation that your main focus is on what is in the best interests of the children. Express the many ways in which YOU have been their primary caregiver and should remain so.
Good luck! If your ex behaves like the ass he is in front of the mediator just sit back and listen more than talk. He will hang himself by his own actions. Be calm. Focus on the children.
Quoting tottaxi:You are wise not to respond. That is what he is wanting you to do...he's trying to goad you into doing something that he can use against you. He's a bully.
With his shitty attitude and obvious inability to communicate with you properly what type of custody do you hope to have? It looks as though he is attempting to gain sole custody and limit your time with the kids (whatever his motive...it is very likely as you feel it is...a financial one). Be sure that when you are in mediation that your main focus is on what is in the best interests of the children. Express the many ways in which YOU have been their primary caregiver and should remain so.
Good luck! If your ex behaves like the ass he is in front of the mediator just sit back and listen more than talk. He will hang himself by his own actions. Be calm. Focus on the children.
Thanks I thought so as well. Yeah that is what I think as well.
Yeah he has a shitty attitude and do not talk to me at all. He is trying to limit the time with our kids because he is just looking out for his wallet. I have been a stay at home mom for most of both of my sons lives I went back to work 6 weeks after my first and quit my job because my ex though we could make it on one income and I was also looked over a promotion because I was pregnant. I did not make much of it. I then got another job while I was expecting my second son and worked tell I was in my 8th month and got taken off work for being dilated and when I went back to work after he was born I my hours got cut form 20 hours a week to 5 hours a week not worth working there. So went looking for another job and could not find one still looking to find a job. I have been the primary caregiver for both of them and will keep on doing so..I'm trying very hard not to get worried on what is going to be said on Thursday. I going to give it to god and know that I will get thru it. I'm going to let him hang himself with his own actions and know that what he said was lies and he lied to the court about it and he will get it in the end. My main focus has always been on my children his has always been on him self.
Stress his unwillingness to communicate and reach a compromise with you...especially if you desire sole custody. If you are wanting joint custody or feel that is what the mediator is leaning towards, make sure that you have the right to final decision making. That way if you can not agree on an issue you won't have to go to court or have a mediator to make those decisions.
It sounds like it went well for you. It is odd that your five year old was questioned. What the heck could a five year old have to say to a stranger? Did he say anything about it? Shoot, even in therapy it took DS a couple of visits before he felt comfortable enough to say anything signficant and that was done with play therapy. It probably helped that the mediator is female.
Stbx not bringing in the proper certificate from the parenting class and bringing up CS...nothing like showing a total disregard for the rules, eh?
Did the mediator ask about how the two of you communicate?
Quoting tottaxi:It sounds like it went well for you. It is odd that your five year old was questioned. What the heck could a five year old have to say to a stranger? Did he say anything about it? Shoot, even in therapy it took DS a couple of visits before he felt comfortable enough to say anything signficant and that was done with play therapy. It probably helped that the mediator is female.
Stbx not bringing in the proper certificate from the parenting class and bringing up CS...nothing like showing a total disregard for the rules, eh?
Did the mediator ask about how the two of you communicate?
Yeah it was odd that she wanted to question my 5 year old. I have not a clue we were not allowed to grill him on what was asked at all. Yeah but he will talk to almost any one. I just wish I could know what was said.
Do you have a lawyer? who filed for the divorce? I know that if I was to go thru it again I would have asked for alot more. I did get residential custody and we have joint custody but he (my ex) isnt really in thier lives. I have to make all decisions (which i am glad ) we live in different states yet he has yet it will be 7 months next week and he hasnt seen them except for 3 hours in Jan. He has made no effort to see them or even ask to see them heck he doesnt even call them he texts them thats it. My girls are 14 and 9 and its sad that he is this way. does your son live with him now? I really dont see them taking him away from you especially if you have him now. I just would have done some things different. it is good that you are asking for advise I wish I was on here before my divorce you get lotsof advise and it really does help.
Kind of a different situation...
- Navywifey85
on Mar. 16, 2013 at 12:50 AM