Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Divorce & Starting Over Divorce & Starting Over

Six Days Tell Mediation

Posted by on Mar. 16, 2013 at 12:50 AM
  • 7 Replies
Okay I have six days tell the court order Mediation for child custody of my sons with my so to be ex husband. I got his response for the divorce almost 2 weeks ago and what he put in his response papers was so hurtful. He is trying to say since I move in to my parents house that our oldest son has been late for school witch is a lie since I have school records showing that he has not been late at all for school and I have a email for his teacher stating he is never late he takes the bus to school. He is just being really hurtful and trying to get to me. I have been the bigger person I have not said anything to him at all about his response I waiting for the court date to come to say anything and then he will get it in court. He also put in his response that he wants our son M-F and I would have them on the weekends. I know he dose not want that he just is looking out for his is wallet. He also dose not think he owes me any kind of spouse support he thinks since I finished school that I have not been looking for a job and have intent to find a job tell the divorce is over witch is a lie since I finished school I have been looking for a job as much as I can because I want to be able to support my sons and my self. He is just looking out for his wallet and he will get it in the end. I just can not wait for his to have his ass served to him for all the b.s. he is stating.
by on Mar. 16, 2013 at 12:50 AM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-7):
tottaxi
by Gold Member on Mar. 16, 2013 at 9:35 AM

You are wise not to respond.  That is what he is wanting you to do...he's trying to goad you into doing something that he can use against you.  He's a bully.

With his shitty attitude and obvious inability to communicate with you properly what type of custody do you hope to have?  It looks as though he is attempting to gain sole custody and limit your time with the kids (whatever his motive...it is very likely as you feel it is...a financial one).  Be sure that when you are in mediation that your main focus is on what is in the best interests of the children.  Express the many ways in which YOU have been their primary caregiver and should remain so.

Good luck!  If your ex behaves like the ass he is in front of the mediator just sit back and listen more than talk.  He will hang himself by his own actions.  Be calm.  Focus on the children. 

Navywifey85
by Member on Mar. 16, 2013 at 7:23 PM
Quoting tottaxi:

You are wise not to respond.  That is what he is wanting you to do...he's trying to goad you into doing something that he can use against you.  He's a bully.


With his shitty attitude and obvious inability to communicate with you properly what type of custody do you hope to have?  It looks as though he is attempting to gain sole custody and limit your time with the kids (whatever his motive...it is very likely as you feel it is...a financial one).  Be sure that when you are in mediation that your main focus is on what is in the best interests of the children.  Express the many ways in which YOU have been their primary caregiver and should remain so.


Good luck!  If your ex behaves like the ass he is in front of the mediator just sit back and listen more than talk.  He will hang himself by his own actions.  Be calm.  Focus on the children. 





Thanks I thought so as well. Yeah that is what I think as well.
Yeah he has a shitty attitude and do not talk to me at all. He is trying to limit the time with our kids because he is just looking out for his wallet. I have been a stay at home mom for most of both of my sons lives I went back to work 6 weeks after my first and quit my job because my ex though we could make it on one income and I was also looked over a promotion because I was pregnant. I did not make much of it. I then got another job while I was expecting my second son and worked tell I was in my 8th month and got taken off work for being dilated and when I went back to work after he was born I my hours got cut form 20 hours a week to 5 hours a week not worth working there. So went looking for another job and could not find one still looking to find a job. I have been the primary caregiver for both of them and will keep on doing so..I'm trying very hard not to get worried on what is going to be said on Thursday. I going to give it to god and know that I will get thru it. I'm going to let him hang himself with his own actions and know that what he said was lies and he lied to the court about it and he will get it in the end. My main focus has always been on my children his has always been on him self.
tottaxi
by Gold Member on Mar. 16, 2013 at 7:31 PM

Stress his unwillingness to communicate and reach a compromise with you...especially if you desire sole custody.  If you are wanting joint custody or feel that is what the mediator is leaning towards, make sure that you have the right to final decision making.  That way if you can not agree on an issue you won't have to go to court or have a mediator to make those decisions.

Navywifey85
by Member on Mar. 23, 2013 at 6:56 PM
Went thru the mediation we were both able to agree on that we would have legal custody of our sons. As far as the physical custody we could not come to an agreement at all. I did not yell nor did I raise my voice during the mediation he kept trying to ask about the child support witch the mediator had said she did not deal with that at all the judge would deal with that. So with him asking about that he dug his own grave. Everything else he has put like our son being late for school and that my younger brother is hurting our sons the mediator said there were no proof of it at all. We also had to do a court ordered parenting class and come in with a certificate that it was completed he did not come with it and was told he had to bring in before we see the judge or he will get a verbal lasing for the judge. I had to bring my 5 year old son to see the mediator so she could talk to him. We are not allowed to ask him anything about what she asked him. I hated having to bring my son in to a grown up issue it is not far for him. I will find out what her recommendation is for our custody is next week some time. I'm hoping I will be able to see what she asked him and what he said to her on it. Now I have to wait tell April 15 to go to court for the divorce to find out what kind of custody we will have and what kid of child support and if I get any kind of spouse support from him.
tottaxi
by Gold Member on Mar. 23, 2013 at 9:12 PM

It sounds like it went well for you.  It is odd that your five year old was questioned.  What the heck could a five year old have to say to a stranger?  Did he say anything about it?  Shoot, even in therapy it took DS a couple of visits before he felt comfortable enough to say anything signficant and that was done with play therapy.  It probably helped that the mediator is female.

Stbx not bringing in the proper certificate from the parenting class and bringing up CS...nothing like showing a total disregard for the rules, eh?

Did the mediator ask about how the two of you communicate?

Navywifey85
by Member on Mar. 27, 2013 at 10:33 PM
Quoting tottaxi:

It sounds like it went well for you.  It is odd that your five year old was questioned.  What the heck could a five year old have to say to a stranger?  Did he say anything about it?  Shoot, even in therapy it took DS a couple of visits before he felt comfortable enough to say anything signficant and that was done with play therapy.  It probably helped that the mediator is female.


Stbx not bringing in the proper certificate from the parenting class and bringing up CS...nothing like showing a total disregard for the rules, eh?


Did the mediator ask about how the two of you communicate?





Yeah it was odd that she wanted to question my 5 year old. I have not a clue we were not allowed to grill him on what was asked at all. Yeah but he will talk to almost any one. I just wish I could know what was said.
mygirls2012
by on Apr. 2, 2013 at 9:46 PM

Do you have a lawyer? who filed for the divorce? I know that if I was to go thru it again I would have asked for alot more. I did get residential custody and we have joint custody but he (my ex) isnt really in thier lives. I have to make all decisions (which i am glad ) we live in different states yet he has yet it will be 7 months next week and he hasnt seen them except for 3 hours in Jan. He has made no effort  to see them or even ask to see them heck he doesnt even call them he texts them thats it. My girls are 14 and 9 and its sad that he is this way. does your son live with him now? I really dont see them taking him away from you especially if you have him now. I just would have done some things different. it is good that you are asking for advise I wish I was on here before my divorce you get lotsof advise and it really does help.

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN