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Divorce & Starting Over Divorce & Starting Over

Is anybody still in love with their STBX when they filed?

Posted by on Mar. 27, 2013 at 12:56 PM
  • 16 Replies

my heart is being crushed even though I filed. when does this pain go away.

by on Mar. 27, 2013 at 12:56 PM
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Replies (1-10):
brownhoney21
by Member on Mar. 27, 2013 at 9:20 PM
3 moms liked this

 I was. It mite not feel like it now but it will get batter. I loved him and was a good wife to him even when he was not good to me.I also was the one that filed but he was not coming back and I needed to move on.

Navywifey85
by on Mar. 27, 2013 at 10:36 PM
I was. It mite not feel like it now but it will get batter. I loved him and was a good wife to him even when he was not good to me.I also was the one that filed because he was dragging it on to file but I knew he was not coming back and I need to move on as well.
Tesserae
by Member on Mar. 27, 2013 at 11:33 PM

my heart is absolutely breaking. after some conversations with him today I know it is really over. he is interested only in custody discussions. that stupid slight shred of hope that i had that he'd actually want to fix us is gone.  i know i need to move on but I am finding it so hard. even xanax isn't taking away the pain.


Quoting brownhoney21:

 I was. It mite not feel like it now but it will get batter. I loved him and was a good wife to him even when he was not good to me.I also was the one that filed but he was not coming back and I needed to move on.



aidansmommy219
by on Mar. 28, 2013 at 9:12 PM

I love my husband very dearly and do not want to get divorced. But I'm meeting with a lawyer on Tuesday (before I get a root canal, joy) and plan on being the one to file. 

slinkerpon11
by on Mar. 30, 2013 at 9:49 AM
1 mom liked this

I loved my husband. I had mixed feelings about drafting papers. I in the months following wondering if I had done the right thing. He even begged me to come home for months (usually right before going to a hearing.) But I found with time that I didn't miss him, I missed my life. I missed my house, my things, story time at the library I loved, going to the zoo with the kids every week, our park, the lake with my favorite walking trail, my neighbors, my car he took back, my shower, my kitchen, being a sahm, nursing my son (the seperation/divorce dried me up real quick.) I missed my life, not my husband. I still miss all of the same things, but I have a new life and I'm much happier without him. He would tell me 'people stay unhappily married for years and learn to just live with eachother.' He didn't love me, it was just easier to brush everything under the rug and stay married than deal with the divorce. We are so close to the end of a very long year of court crap - and I've never felt better about myself. But I have had my lows where I just wanted to pack up and go home. But now, where I am is home - not the home I had with him.

Pink.Sunshine.
by on Mar. 30, 2013 at 2:46 PM

no, but I'm sure that has to hurt. I'm so sorry :(

Tesserae
by Member on Apr. 2, 2013 at 9:43 AM

so you were the one to leave the family home? what you said is exactly what I'm feeling. I'm going to miss our family unit. I will miss our home that we bought last year, my big kitchen, my huge bath tub, the awesome library, The BLVD (shopping/eating area in our neighborhood). I will miss being a SAHM the most and homeschooling my kids. I know i'll continue for awhile but eventually i'll have to get my stuff together & move out of my parents house. I love my husband too but I am so confused right now. Plus he isn;t even sorry that I can tell.


Quoting slinkerpon11:

I loved my husband. I had mixed feelings about drafting papers. I in the months following wondering if I had done the right thing. He even begged me to come home for months (usually right before going to a hearing.) But I found with time that I didn't miss him, I missed my life. I missed my house, my things, story time at the library I loved, going to the zoo with the kids every week, our park, the lake with my favorite walking trail, my neighbors, my car he took back, my shower, my kitchen, being a sahm, nursing my son (the seperation/divorce dried me up real quick.) I missed my life, not my husband. I still miss all of the same things, but I have a new life and I'm much happier without him. He would tell me 'people stay unhappily married for years and learn to just live with eachother.' He didn't love me, it was just easier to brush everything under the rug and stay married than deal with the divorce. We are so close to the end of a very long year of court crap - and I've never felt better about myself. But I have had my lows where I just wanted to pack up and go home. But now, where I am is home - not the home I had with him.



slinkerpon11
by on Apr. 2, 2013 at 4:41 PM

yes. all of my family and friends live about 2 hours south. My ex wouldn't of left the home, and I couldn't of afforded to stay with my part time 'fun' job at the shoe store. So I packed up the kids and moved in with my dad. I came with a pocket of cash, no job, no bank account, and zero help from my ex finacially. about a month after we left he gave me 3 grand from his savings, and I turned around and gave that to my lawyer and filed papers. We have struggled finacially, which has made the transition more difficult. I have zero job skills but I was able to get on at a company cleaning houses making decent money. it's hard to leave behind everything you know. my daughter cried asking when we'd go home, when daddy would get off work, why she couldn't go to see daddy (she's not his bio, although she's never known any different, and he won't take her for visitation along with her brother. so her tears killed me.) We have made our own new things here. We have a fenced in yard, so we got a puppy (we had to leave Leon the Cat behind.) the kids have to share a room now, so we converted the dinning room into a playroom. My ex wouldn't of liked the fact that we find a place to hang every single picture we bring home from preschool...our walls are covered now and Grandpa doesn't care what room something is hung in lol. Grandpa also doesn't care if we make a HUGE mess while baking, so we've had a flour fight or two. We get by just fine without my ex. I do really really miss being 15 minutes from the zoo though, so we are looking into a membership at our kids science center here and signing up for summer t-ball.

Quoting Tesserae:

so you were the one to leave the family home? what you said is exactly what I'm feeling. I'm going to miss our family unit. I will miss our home that we bought last year, my big kitchen, my huge bath tub, the awesome library, The BLVD (shopping/eating area in our neighborhood). I will miss being a SAHM the most and homeschooling my kids. I know i'll continue for awhile but eventually i'll have to get my stuff together & move out of my parents house. I love my husband too but I am so confused right now. Plus he isn;t even sorry that I can tell.


Quoting slinkerpon11:

I loved my husband. I had mixed feelings about drafting papers. I in the months following wondering if I had done the right thing. He even begged me to come home for months (usually right before going to a hearing.) But I found with time that I didn't miss him, I missed my life. I missed my house, my things, story time at the library I loved, going to the zoo with the kids every week, our park, the lake with my favorite walking trail, my neighbors, my car he took back, my shower, my kitchen, being a sahm, nursing my son (the seperation/divorce dried me up real quick.) I missed my life, not my husband. I still miss all of the same things, but I have a new life and I'm much happier without him. He would tell me 'people stay unhappily married for years and learn to just live with eachother.' He didn't love me, it was just easier to brush everything under the rug and stay married than deal with the divorce. We are so close to the end of a very long year of court crap - and I've never felt better about myself. But I have had my lows where I just wanted to pack up and go home. But now, where I am is home - not the home I had with him.




Akeso
by Bronze Member on Apr. 2, 2013 at 5:31 PM

OH that is rough. (()) to you and your children, esp darling daughter.

KruegerGirl1304
by on Apr. 5, 2013 at 9:42 PM

I was and I was also the person who filed. It makes it a heck of a lot harder when there are kids involved. I am still waiting for it to get easier and its been 6 months since i filed.

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