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Another child support question, but a bit different

Posted by on Mar. 31, 2013 at 4:50 PM
  • 6 Replies

Okay, my xh wasn't ds's dad, so this doesn't have to do with divorce, but I figured some of you ladies may hav some insights.

Ds's dad and I get along great.  He was paying support for 4 years with no order, on time, every payday.  Fast forward to now, and since I needed medicaid for ds, we had to get a court order and do cs through the state.  The state is awful at getting me my support checks on time, and blames him.  Now, he has documentation that he pays his support every single week, and he's never behind on any bills, so I'm gonna believe him.

Problem is, now he's losing his job.  I don't really want him to be obligated for cs anyway, and I'd like to end it, but it seems like the only way to do that is to get married.  Does anyone know if he moves in if he will still have to pay support to me?  Is there any way to get rid of him having to pay the state without us getting married (cuz, lets face it, I find him waaaay to ugly to even think of touching...)?   We're not on any assistance from the state currently.

by on Mar. 31, 2013 at 4:50 PM
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Replies (1-6):
tottaxi
by Silver Member on Mar. 31, 2013 at 5:11 PM

Look up the CS laws for your state.  I was checking something out for a friend recently regarding past child support and found out that ...in her case...she could receive CS retroactively EXCEPT for those years that they were living together.  So that may be the case with you...if he lives with you he may not have to pay.

grneyedormom
by Member on Mar. 31, 2013 at 5:44 PM

In my state, the payee (person receiving the child support) can go the child support office and stop the child support order if they want to at any time. My brother's ex-wife has done this for him, and they work out their own support plan. The only time the state collects from him is when she receives TANF and he has to pay it back. Wonder if you can do that. Call and find out what you can do in your state.

Proud Momma to one fabulous 4th grader.

wearing crowngirl giving flower


miss_AP
by Bronze Member on Apr. 17, 2013 at 11:17 AM

Here, if the parties agree CSED just carries it out. I would just do a simple affidavit or stipulation saying you both agree to discontinue child support at this time, reserving the right to request re-evaluation if circumstances change and give it to CSED. Walla, that should be it....here anyway......it doesn't even have to go to the Court here, it can just be done directly through CSED.

Ecoseem
by on Apr. 17, 2013 at 9:39 PM

I don't think I can do that because I didn't want the support in the first place, the state started the proceedings.  There's a couple that lives together that the state ordered child support on anyway, because they're not married.

He's lost his job now, so....idk where we go from here.   Hate to see him get behind.

Quoting miss_AP:

Here, if the parties agree CSED just carries it out. I would just do a simple affidavit or stipulation saying you both agree to discontinue child support at this time, reserving the right to request re-evaluation if circumstances change and give it to CSED. Walla, that should be it....here anyway......it doesn't even have to go to the Court here, it can just be done directly through CSED.


miss_AP
by Bronze Member on Apr. 18, 2013 at 10:26 AM

Hmm, interesting. I can see how CS could still be awarded even if you live together....at least here. Check your state statutes, it should outline it pretty clearly. Family law in general tends to be mostly based on statutory law rather than case law, so that's beneficial for non-lawyers trying to find information. Check with your local state court (the names vary...our is District Court.....but Federal court is also District becuase its US District Court....but the main court system that has judicial districts across the state on the same level, above any local courts like municipal or drug court, but below any appeals courts and state supreme court)....lots of those clerks' offices will have information about self-help law clinics that are staffed by lawyers to help you research and things. Also maybe try checking with a local parenting center, especially one that does court-ordered parenting classes and such....they often have some information about law clinics or question and answer sessions conducted by lawyers or law firms or legal aide. Maybe some place like that can help guide you to the answer. GL!!!!

Quoting Ecoseem:

I don't think I can do that because I didn't want the support in the first place, the state started the proceedings.  There's a couple that lives together that the state ordered child support on anyway, because they're not married.

He's lost his job now, so....idk where we go from here.   Hate to see him get behind.

Quoting miss_AP:

Here, if the parties agree CSED just carries it out. I would just do a simple affidavit or stipulation saying you both agree to discontinue child support at this time, reserving the right to request re-evaluation if circumstances change and give it to CSED. Walla, that should be it....here anyway......it doesn't even have to go to the Court here, it can just be done directly through CSED.



flika
by Bronze Member on Apr. 18, 2013 at 6:32 PM
I always wonder why the judge didn't give me retroactive. Is there something I can do to get it after divorce? Bc it's ridiculous I want awarded that! Plus I need it. I can't get student loans due to my bad credit and I don't have family who would help me cosigning. So that's out for me. Where do I look? I can't hire a Atty

Quoting tottaxi:

Look up the CS laws for your state.  I was checking something out for a friend recently regarding past child support and found out that ...in her case...she could receive CS retroactively EXCEPT for those years that they were living together.  So that may be the case with you...if he lives with you he may not have to pay.

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