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what would you do?

Posted by on Apr. 3, 2013 at 3:22 PM
  • 2 Replies
Why is it that other families seem to help each other but mine doesn't?
My 21 year old acts like such a jerk a lot of the times. He feels he doesn't and I'm mean for saying this.
I feel he is acting like my ex. I'm the bad guy and he is the good guy. My family is on his side and I'm the just alone. He told my dd my time for gong to school is over. I need to work and make money and that's it but meanwhile he wants me to support him too.
He won't pay for the internet I didn't want to have bc I don't want to get things that are not a necessity like water and electric. He doesn't want to help pay the car insurance or gas.
Yesterday was dd's bday and my sister invited us to get house. I eventually told her I couldn't go bc I don't have gas in the car. And later my son out of the blue said he will pay for gas. When we didn't go, he went with my dd to see his friends saying he has to sports the gas he added to the car now and that he was driving in a way that he will waste gas.

That to me is so self fish and I am the bad guy!!! He wants to move back to PBC and he keeps telling me that we need to and he finds jobs for me to go. I have checked out a few I thought were with looking into bc of how much they paid but I'm thinking if he wants to move, he needs to find his own way instead of being this leech.

Am I too harsh? What do you think I should do?
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by on Apr. 3, 2013 at 3:22 PM
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steviechick
by on Apr. 4, 2013 at 2:48 PM
1 mom liked this

Hey, Flika.  You are not being harsh at all to your son.  He's disrespecting you in all kinds of levels.  He's 21.  He should have a job of his own and if he's going to live with you he should be financially helping out.  You are not the bad guy.  You are trying to show your son to do the right thing.  You don't have a job, but you are trying to find ways to help support your family.  If you have to move back to PBC then that is your choice.  Your son should be on his own if not then be going to school to be productive in life.  He is being a leech.  I would tell him he is.  If he wants to go places with your car then have him pay for the gas.  He's telling you what he should be doing - getting a job and being productive.  I have a soon to be 19 yr old DD.  She has her own apt and has two jobs while she's attending college.  She pays her way for just about everything.  I've given her some financial help because she was short on funds due to cut-backs at work.  Her father (my louse of an ex) hasn't given her a dime for college.  He signed an agreement to do so.  So, she's turned to me for help.  I know she is at least trying to earn a living.  If she wasn't I wouldn't be helping her.  Stand up to your son but at the same time let him know you love him and want to help him become a better man. 

flika
by Bronze Member on Apr. 4, 2013 at 3:58 PM
He uses the baby against me because he watches him. So he has a great excuse not to work. Supposedly, coach has hired him but it's been a week and no schedule. Of course if he does, I'm not sure how I will work and go to school. When the summer comes it would be easier bc my dd will be home but after that it's going to be difficult again.

I'm waiting to hear the news about his job. I told him I'm staying. Today the boys said he wants to train me to be a manager. They are opening a new store in the fall close by and I could go there. We'll see what happens it sounds good but I don't trust anybody any more


Quoting steviechick:

Hey, Flika.  You are not being harsh at all to your son.  He's disrespecting you in all kinds of levels.  He's 21.  He should have a job of his own and if he's going to live with you he should be financially helping out.  You are not the bad guy.  You are trying to show your son to do the right thing.  You don't have a job, but you are trying to find ways to help support your family.  If you have to move back to PBC then that is your choice.  Your son should be on his own if not then be going to school to be productive in life.  He is being a leech.  I would tell him he is.  If he wants to go places with your car then have him pay for the gas.  He's telling you what he should be doing - getting a job and being productive.  I have a soon to be 19 yr old DD.  She has her own apt and has two jobs while she's attending college.  She pays her way for just about everything.  I've given her some financial help because she was short on funds due to cut-backs at work.  Her father (my louse of an ex) hasn't given her a dime for college.  He signed an agreement to do so.  So, she's turned to me for help.  I know she is at least trying to earn a living.  If she wasn't I wouldn't be helping her.  Stand up to your son but at the same time let him know you love him and want to help him become a better man. 

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