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Good man - grown apart - filing for divorce feels so painful

Posted by on Apr. 9, 2013 at 3:55 AM
  • 2 Replies

Although my heart just doesn't feel the same way for him, my soon to be EX is a great man.  He is a good dad, godo husband for the most part hwoever something shifted in our marriage about 2 years ago.  I have always had concerns with his lack of motivation and constant need for me to nudge him into anything - sometimes it worked, sometimes not.  I have felt resentment for years with regards to me having to own and manage so much of our life together.  I never felt like he stepped up and 'partnered' with me.  But I have loved him so much - we have been married for 12 years and together for 18.  Since I was 17 years old.  We have 3 children together.  I asked for counseling for almost a year now and only recently has he agreed to go - but it's too late.  I have fallen in love with another man who I see such a clear future with - but I am scared of making the wrong decision.  It doesn't make sense right?  He is a good guy - why do I want more?  Has anyone else fallen into this?  Our interests are similar but our goals are very different.  I truly just feel like we have grown apart and it's hard.

Looking forward to some wisdom, advice or just your story that let's me know I am not alone.  Thanks!!

by on Apr. 9, 2013 at 3:55 AM
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Replies (1-2):
Pink.Sunshine.
by on Apr. 9, 2013 at 9:35 AM

Your story is very similar to mine. I don't think any amount of counseling would've helped on my end. Once I'm done, I'm done.

mygirls2012
by on Apr. 9, 2013 at 1:52 PM

Wow I also thought I wrote that lol.. I have the same issues also, was married for 12 years together for 20 and 2 kids together, I also have 2 from previous marriage so he helped raise them.  I also begged him for counceling and he put me off for years until I said either we go or I am leaving.. we went but then I felt it was too late. We divorced and he is a person whom I never knew (bad) its been 8 months and he never wants to see his girls(we live 12 hrs away but have visitation that never happens) only texts them never calls and told my daughter (age 14) personal things about our marriage to make me look bad. I hate him yet i still care about him. I have met a man many years older and we are now currently living together and we get along great but there are times i question whether i did the right thing or not. I am much happier but i feel for my girls and how they never see thier father and wonder if he will ever come around.

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