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Divorce & Starting Over Divorce & Starting Over

How much does it help?

Posted by on May. 7, 2013 at 4:16 AM
  • 8 Replies

To be the first to file...I'm broke but I am planning to file but what if I have NO MONEY? for a lawyer to fight for me and my girls?

by on May. 7, 2013 at 4:16 AM
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Replies (1-8):
tottaxi
by Gold Member on May. 7, 2013 at 7:46 AM

There are advantages...both legal and emotional.  Google "advantages to filing first for divorce" and you will find several good articles on the subject.  There is one on the Dr. Phil website that I have posted the link to recently that will tell you just about everything you will need to know.

Financially...do you work?  Does your husband work?  What is your current MARRIED financial situation?

mommyx2-2006
by Member on May. 7, 2013 at 7:17 PM
I work and he works we DO not combine money. I PAY BILLS he buys whatever he wants while telling me hes broke. He has numerous accord that he took out after we was married without consulting me. And he pays the house payment because HE refinanced 3 times
mommyx2-2006
by Member on May. 7, 2013 at 7:19 PM
Credit card*
tottaxi
by Gold Member on May. 7, 2013 at 9:33 PM

Honestly, it doesn't matter whether or not you combined your earnings.  Ex and I did not either.  And I paid all the bills and he put his in a savings account in his name only.  ALL earnings are considered marital.  All the bills that you paid and he did not...it won't make a damned bit of difference in court.  The judge will say you agreed to this.  My ex bought a vehicle that I was against buying and it was licensed and insured in his name only...didn't matter to the court.  Everything done during the marriage is "marital" and the assumption is that you were okay with it. 

I could go into a lot of detail, but suffice it to say that financially you will probably get screwed.  If you have access to any bank accounts I suggest you close them out now.  My ex did this and he got to keep that money.  At the worst at some point you may have to give him half back.

tottaxi
by Gold Member on May. 7, 2013 at 9:44 PM

I realize that was vague.  Here's what happened with the house...

My grandma died and left her home to me and my mom.  After I married ex, mom sold us her half at a reduced rate.  We (ex and I) financed that "half".  We had a mortgage for two years (before separating) that I paid each month out of my earnings (along with all other household expenses) while he banked his as I mentioned above.  I also continued paying that entire mortgage payment after the separation along with all taxes and homeowner's insurance.

When we divorced, the judge determined that I had "gifted" ex my half of the home.  That made him entitled to half of the equity.   He did not have to reimburse me any of the mortgage that I had paid even after the separation. 

Oh...and our divorce took almost three years to complete, so three years of mortgage payments on me alone, but he was entitled to his full half of all equity.

mommyx2-2006
by Member on May. 7, 2013 at 11:52 PM

Pardon my language...but Damn what state are you in?? My BIL AND SIL just got Divorced in January she paid house payments she got to keep the house and he got to keep the brand new car since she paid for the house. The CC she had to pay because she took them out. She made more than him and the child support she was to pay him $1 a day. Even though she had primary custody of the kids but they decided to half the daycare bill in half with no child support on either end.

kh4irish
by Member on May. 8, 2013 at 8:17 AM

I took a cash advance on a credit card to pay the retainer for the attorney.  Money well-spent!!!!

JLC_mama
by on May. 8, 2013 at 9:04 AM
I went through an agency that went off my income. My divorce costs me 50 bucks
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