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Dang it hurts....

Posted by on Jul. 16, 2013 at 12:52 PM
  • 8 Replies
After 10 years if marriage, my now exh kicked my son and I out. 5 weeks later his first GF moved in. That only lasted a month. Three months after my boy and I moved out he met his current GF. They moved in together and six months later got a new place together. We weren't even divorced yet. Now, the divorce has been final since Feb and they've been together for about 8 months. They are planning on getting married either this fall or spring.

It hurts to know that I was so easy to replace. Obviously he was done with the marriage long before he kicked us out...I get that. But it still hurts. I hate that I'm single and alone while he jumped right into his happy ever after. That's what I want. That's all I ever wanted.

Most of the time I do pretty good, but today I feel rejected, replaced and completely undesirable.

This too shall pass, but I just needed to get it out.
by on Jul. 16, 2013 at 12:52 PM
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Replies (1-8):
Pixiemaid
by Member on Jul. 16, 2013 at 12:58 PM
I understand about being replaced. Mine did that also. It does hurt. He left me to pick up the pieces
Sj218
by on Jul. 16, 2013 at 1:09 PM
How do you shake the feelings of: I wasn't worth keeping, I was easy to replace, he didn't want me and neither does anyone else....ect.

Don't get me wrong, I don't want "that" life back. But I do want something bigger, better and a relationship that makes me feel good instead of insecure. I moved out nearly a year ago, I really thought it would get better not worse.


Quoting Pixiemaid:

I understand about being replaced. Mine did that also. It does hurt. He left me to pick up the pieces

nclzgr11
by on Jul. 16, 2013 at 1:29 PM

 I am struggling with the same feelings. We separated in March. By April 1st he was dating someone new. They are now living together. I hear through the grapevine that they are planning on getting married. I also don't want him back, but I do want to know how my son and I were so easily replaced. Good luck and if you figure out a way to deal, let me know. :)

Sj218
by on Jul. 16, 2013 at 1:42 PM
Thank you. I wish that neither of us had to feel this way, but I'm glad to know I'm not alone. Sometimes I just feel crazy. I wish he would just go away so I didn't have to hear/see him and his new life ever again. I really think I'll end up better off because I did spend time being single, getting my feet on the ground, building a life for myself. But I've also found that I'm soooo scared to be hurt again, that I make it so I don't have room in my life for anyone else. Self preservation....but it's leaving me lonely too. Not sure how to make it all work.


Quoting nclzgr11:

 I am struggling with the same feelings. We separated in March. By April 1st he was dating someone new. They are now living together. I hear through the grapevine that they are planning on getting married. I also don't want him back, but I do want to know how my son and I were so easily replaced. Good luck and if you figure out a way to deal, let me know. :)


nclzgr11
by on Jul. 16, 2013 at 1:58 PM

You are definitely not alone. As lame as it sounds, I just try to wake up each day knowing it's a new day and yet another day I've made it through without him! As for being afraid to be hurt again, I think it's natural, but we can't let it get in the way of finding happiness again. I just recently started being positive again and not depressed. I still feel all of those negative things, but I needed to find a way to deal (a little) and appear normal to my 1.5 year old son. Now, I cry in the shower or at bed where he can't hear me. It has gotten better, although, I'm still trying to figure out what do do with all of these feelings, how to make them go away, and how to stop crying. lol.

steviechick
by on Jul. 16, 2013 at 2:57 PM
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You are going through the emotions of being deserted by the one person you thought would 'love you forever' just because he said "I do". Mine did the same thing.  Took vows even.  FF to 26 years later and I find out after my lying, cheating scumbag of a 'loving' husband had been cheating on me with a co-worker homewrecking tramp for three years AND he fathered two kids with her.  Talk about being blindsided!  Being 'replaced' makes you go crazy.  The way I've dealt with my grief is to finally realize that if our exes truly loved us and respect us they would have stayed around and loved us uncondtionally.  All of us deserve better in life.  I now know that my ex is screwed up and has been for several years.  My tale is long but it's one that I have realized should have ended years before the tramp came along.

The best medicine for you is to start working on you.  Staying busy with friends, body, mind and soul improvements.   You need that extra 'help' to get through this.  Remember you ARE a good person.  You DESERVE better in life and  you WILL find happiness again.  Cry when you feel like crying.  Get angry when you feel like you've been mistreated.  One day you will wake-up and not feel that way anymore.  That's when you come to realize that life does go on.  Trust me on this.  I've been divorced for about 2 years.  I can finally wake-up and not think about the DB I was married to.  I'm actually looking forward to being happy for once in my life.

ivf_blessed
by Member on Jul. 16, 2013 at 10:24 PM
1 mom liked this

I'm sorry!

I wish my stbx would find someone else and leave me the heck alone but then my situation is entirely different from yours.

It's ok to feel that way every once in awhile but keep in mind, it really is HIS loss!  Take care of yourself - everything else will come in time!  ((HUGS))

kh4irish
by Member on Jul. 17, 2013 at 10:18 AM
2 moms liked this

Betrayal is abuse.  Never look back.  You deserve to be happy and safe...within a trustworthy, kind, humorous, thoughtful, respectful environment. Shame on him. But I get it. Been there.  Now is the time to start living, not grieving for the toxic past.

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