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ex and exs family openly bad mouthing me

Posted by on Sep. 2, 2013 at 3:24 AM
  • 8 Replies
To and in front of my kids. It breaks my heart and makes me down right mad to hear when my daughters come home and say "Aunt so and so said you are a liar and dad should have custody of us" and "grandma calls me a big mouth just like my mother.
I have prayed first for these people but I still just wanna punch them. Anyone else dealing with this? How do you deal with it? I've been saying to the kids "that wasn't nice of them but you know the truth " they are 12 and 10.
by on Sep. 2, 2013 at 3:24 AM
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Replies (1-8):
iamsunflower
by on Sep. 2, 2013 at 5:13 AM
Omg, I'm freaking sick and tired of my ex's too. I have my daughter in counseling to help her understand what's going on as well as give her an outlet of her own. I've always been told I not speak negatively about them because the children will start seeing things on their own. Your children are old enough and eventually they will get tired of it and start seeing the ex's and their dad for who they are just like my 12 year old has. My daughter came home one day after a weekend visit with her dad and said to me that she couldn't wait to turn 14 because she no longer wants to visit her dad. What I don't like about the court system is that a child's voice is silent and they feel a child has no say when it comes to visitations especially when it's detrimental to their mental well being.
tottaxi
by Battle Weary on Sep. 2, 2013 at 10:12 AM

Yes, I am experiencing this, too.  I just replied to "Full custody/parental ailianation/preteen in crisis" if you want to see how I deal with it.  Also I would recommend a book "Divorce Poison".  It is very helpful and a more proactive means of dealing with parental alienation.

Ex and his mother have called me and my family liars and worse.  EX tries to undermine my authority and sabotages all my efforts with DS.  He works to make DS choose between us and makes DS feel conflicted in his loyalties.

A therapist really, really helps.  It doesn't fix the problem, but at least a third pary makes ex accountable for his behavior.

gettingoverit
by on Sep. 2, 2013 at 3:21 PM

I think if they are old enough to know the situation talk to them tell them your side for example daddy would mistreat me and I didnt think that was right so we cant get along my children were both starting to HATE me thinking I made their dad leave and they thought Dad cared about them and was working hard for them I had to tell them the truth Dad left us and he wants to be away he loves you but right now the one that is caring about you and taking care of you is me im working hard for both of you Dad has not sent money hes working but he doesnt send money so they understand your doing your part and hes not putting his part I know they say dont bad mouth them but sometimes the truth is better to tell because if we keep covering up for them they will look at you like the bad guy not them .... My husband keeps telling my kids he will come on his   vacation he lives out of town  and  well he had this labor day weekend off and he didnt bother to come instead he went out with friends to a football game a baseball game and he hasnt even bothered to call them all weekend 

Bonnie_
by on Sep. 3, 2013 at 1:45 AM

My kids  had to listen to that shit  for a few years.  There  is nothing you can  do  Don't  call them  names  to your  kids... instead  ask them  how  it makes them feel.   Then   just  tell them  when they start  saying  mean things  to  just ask them to stop. .Kids  don't  stay  kids  and  sooner   than  later  they will  tell them to stop.

MyLiLBlessinz
by on Sep. 3, 2013 at 9:54 PM

I am dealing with this big time!  They are bad mouthing me and all I did was leave his cheating butt!  They wont let me have the stuff out of the house and I have heard he has been selling my stuff.  I just made a post of his gf talking bad about me to my daughter it is bothering me and IDK what to do...

MyLiLBlessinz
by on Sep. 3, 2013 at 9:55 PM

My daughter has come home crying because his gf told her that I was mean and a bad mother.... I know how it makes her feel.  They are talking to her about financial stuff she is only 8, why does she have a say if they sell our house and buy and new one. 

Quoting Bonnie_:

My kids  had to listen to that shit  for a few years.  There  is nothing you can  do  Don't  call them  names  to your  kids... instead  ask them  how  it makes them feel.   Then   just  tell them  when they start  saying  mean things  to  just ask them to stop. .Kids  don't  stay  kids  and  sooner   than  later  they will  tell them to stop.


Bonnie_
by on Sep. 3, 2013 at 10:06 PM

Call the cops and tell them you want to go to your house and get your stuff.  The cops  will   wait  a  short while with you to  get some of it.  You shouldn't have waited too long to  do that.  But the longer  you wait  the more they will sell.  When I left  my ex...   I walked out  on just about all my  shit too.  Nice furniture mementos etc.  I didn't care.  I cut the losses  and chalked  it  up to a learning experience.  Maybe  you should   start taking  your DD to therapy.  Let  her talk to a counselor.  The counselor can  take notes and make recommendations.    Maybe based  on that  even  have the  judge  might  say  she  can't go on visitation  if that woman is there  or to just have  supervised  visitation at the courthouse......

MrsBanksyBunch
by on Sep. 4, 2013 at 9:09 AM
I hate that this is so common. Knowing what and how they are badmouthing me and proving it is two different things.
I say break ups and divorces are never easy. But why can't some people be adults and let the kids be kids?! They need to deal with their own emotions and not constantly be told how bad someone they love is. Especially when its lies because it just confused them more.
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