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Dating again?

Posted by on Oct. 26, 2013 at 5:13 PM
  • 15 Replies

When did you start dating again? Was it during your separation? Did you wait for your divorce to be final? Did or does your ex have comments about you dating?

by on Oct. 26, 2013 at 5:13 PM
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Replies (1-10):
MamaHens3
by on Oct. 26, 2013 at 10:38 PM
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I was married for 8 years, together 9 and we separated oct of 2010. He started to date someone by Thanksgiving, who he ended up marrying June 2011! He didn't waste time, he had her though in the shadows I think. I met someone friend wise, level and we grew into more Oct. He was a divorcee, had kids and his ex is a total douchette. An I could relate to that! LOL. My ex troll didn't like him at first, wasn't sure and was crazy "whatever". I wasn't too nice though, yet I was angry some how he rushed our children into a new "mom". I like her, she is good to my kids and has soon two with their father prego again. My story isn't a happy ending though, compared to my ex trolls. I got pregnant with my post split up boyfriend, who was about to plan a wedding before my final divorce felt like! An we even talked of a child together, he was fine when he found out etc. He ghosted on me though, it hurt like hell! I broke up with him when that happened, I wasn't being with someone with no emotional maturity. YES I got pregnant, yet he was ready to make a family and our kids together was 7 kids! He saw the reality of what he was saying, wanting and hit him like bricks lol. I didn't have a happy ending, when I thought I did. 

Its different with everyone, I felt ready felt like with my post split up boyfriend. YET when he was talking serious, I got freaked and I wasn't final divorced. I wasn't thinking again marraige, like my ex troll was. I had to find ME again, heal and I was morning my less of a family unit. NOT the ex, but the thing we had as a family. I am with someone now, who I feel I can be with how he was talking my ex boyfriend. My child with him, doesn't know him HIS choice and I have done my part in a civil manner. To try to get him to be part of her life, she's 2 years old now. She has seen my SO as a father, and he considers her a daughter seeing her grow. I met him when I was 4 months along, broken hearted and I didn't expect us to go far. We did though, and I love him so much I'll gladly be his wife. My ex troll has met him, likes him and "approves" seems like. I don't regret having my fourth child, i was in shock when he just ghosted her father when he told me what I thought I'd never again.

Good luck, and ease into it. Even the most honest, fairy tale type guys can be the one to fool you. My SO is a blunt man, he has moments he's a total ass hole yet he's honest TRULY. He doesn't say things I want to hear, and not mean it.   

tempsingl3mom
by Member on Oct. 27, 2013 at 12:26 PM
1 mom liked this

I tried waiting until the divorce was final, but him and his lawyer kept dragging it out. It was supposed to be final in July of 2010 and he left me in January of 2010. He started dating 2 weeks after he left and by the end of  Feb, admitted to have ben with 5 women since he left. We had been married for 12 years. I didn't start dating until October of 2010 and the divorce was final December 2010.

My ex was totally fine with me dating and said on numerous times that he wanted me to be happy.

I think every situation is different but I do wish I had waited until the divorce was final to have started dating. They say it takes a month for every year you are with someone to be over them. I was with my ex for 14 yrs and it did take me about 14 months to be totally over him. There were many times that I thought it was unfair to my current bf that I wasn't over my ex yet.

_Meg_
by on Oct. 27, 2013 at 4:38 PM

My ex and I are still just separated, divorce isn't final yet...we've been separated for nearly 2 years now...and I've been dating my boyfriend for almost 7 months (and been living together for almost 2 months). 

My ex was FURIOUS when I first started to date my boyfriend. But that didn't surprise me, he was always very controlling and jealous. Just funny to me because he'd been sleeping with other people the whole time. But whatevs. He was really irritated by it for the first few months, but has seemed to calm down about it for the last couple months. Or, at least, he doesn't show that he's upset and has stopped talking about it to our daughter. I think he realizes there's nothing he can do about it, it's none of his business, HE is seeing other people and has been, and my boyfriend is a really great guy whom I've known for 20 years. So it's not like this is just some dude off the street that no one knows anything about. My ex's family is even happy for me and in favor of my relationship, lol

gmoen1977
by on Nov. 3, 2013 at 8:46 PM

i started dating after i told him it was over.   yes he tried to tell me what i could or couldnt do but he was told to look in the mirror and the lies he was telling his girlfriends while we were married and to back the F off.

CampClan
by Bronze Member on Nov. 4, 2013 at 6:20 PM

Well I could have dated while separated (there was a guy who did have a thing for me) but I had false hopes for my marriage.

I have officially been divorced since April 2012. I just went on my 1st date about a month ago. I am still talking to the guy but he is so busy with work (travels alot) that we haven't been on the 2nd date yet.

My ex has no clue & will not have a clue until I am ready to introduce someone to our kids. IMO he didn't have the balls to wait until we were divorced befor he started dating & got her knocked up. I don't feel I should tell him I am dating until it becomes serious. 

miss_AP
by on Nov. 6, 2013 at 1:13 PM

I did after I initiated everything.....but loosely until I moved out. Then it was free game. He did too. The paperwork was simply finalization for us.

shell1788
by Member on Nov. 6, 2013 at 6:51 PM
My ex had moved out of my house and into his gf's house. He kept telling me to date and i didn't want to till we were divorced. Almost a year after we were separated i made a pof and started talking to people. I had finally went on my 1st date 2 months after that. I am on my 3rd relationship since the ex left. That is his only comment that i haven't been with one guy. The 1st guy i had dated we are still friends so he never left my sons life. the 2nd guy i never should of dated but he was never around my son and my current bf i couldn't pf found a better guy and i know we will be together awhile cause we talk that way.

Briyawna
by on Jan. 31, 2014 at 8:22 PM
During seperation..dated a guy for like 3 1/2 montgs and that fell apart but not before getting pregnant.. ugh! So.. I am staying single until I get my life together and just sticking with hanging out with friends!!
Stephd710
by Bronze Member on Feb. 4, 2014 at 3:40 PM

I started dating while waiting for mine to go through.  Yeah my ex was pissed at me.  Even though HE had a girlfriend that he had started seeing WHILE WE WERE STILL TOGETHER...he told me i shouldnt be dating because i was a "married woman".  

BentoMommy
by on Feb. 9, 2014 at 6:15 PM
I started dating my BF after my ex and me were living apart for six months. He had already been cheating since March 2011 and we split in Sep 2012. He flipped out on me when he found out I was dating even though he was with three other women and wanted a divorce. Divorce was final just as of three weeks ago and he is still odd about it. I don't want to follow through with joint custody because he is abusive and his newest GF is insane and an alcoholic. But as the good old government system goes, can't get full custody till he's caught on film beating up DS or sends me harassing emails.

Been with my new BF for a little over 10 months now and happier than ever. He's 5 1/2 years older, but no real relationships. DS loves him which makes ex mad, but the ex was never around and when he was he was neglectful or mean. So, hopefully everything keeps going well with my awesome new BF.
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