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I work he doesn't back and forth to court

Posted by on Jun. 2, 2014 at 9:48 AM
  • 8 Replies
I've posted here before especially when things were really bad... Background I filed for divorce April 2011 and had a real rough time with eldest.
Due to ex putting things in her mind. She accused me of an affair; would hit me. Now were in a better place- she's nothing like she was before. And I'm eternally grateful to God for that! She's a good kid!!!
Ex hasn't really had an income since 2005. He has been ordered to seek work and provide his work seek logs. He has been ordered to pay my attorney's fees. We've been going back to court for his non compliance. Question is my kids attend private school which is what he wanted for them when we were together. I paid the tuition. His mom
Now helps a bit monthly. Any other expense it's hard to get him to pay half. He doesn't pay rent because his mother let's him live free in one of her homes. I have a mortgage/ expenses of daily living... And I have the kids 70 percent. Should I go back to court to try to get him to pay 1/2 or just leave it alone. I'm just exhausted working extra to make ends meet when he has an obligation and doesn't comply!
by on Jun. 2, 2014 at 9:48 AM
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happynewyorker
by on Jun. 2, 2014 at 10:22 AM
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That's a question more for yourself to ask.

I have a friend that is raising 2 children.  Her eldest son is 13.  She was married to him for a year, and has raised him on her own.  His dad is a successful lawyer in New York, and the boy sees his dad on weekends and attends school where his dad lives. He hasn't given his x wife a single cent to help raise their son.  she's fine with it.  Her daughter doesn't know her dad. They divorced before she was born.  She struggles financially but says she's happy.

With you, it seems that mommy has babied her son for such a long time.  What you should do is seek judgments out on your x-husband. What this does if lets say mommy gets sick and leaves the house to her poor son, you get the house.  The same goes with a car.  Judgments are powerful things.

Google search and this applies to Colorado divorce law:  A child support judgment is good for 20 years, meaning that 19 years after the money is owed, a person can still collect and collect with interest. Even if it looks like a lost cause, checking up on the debtor every couple of years can pay off big.

You should ask a lawyer.  But, remember your children can also sue dad for college tuition since they never paid you child support over the years.

The real question is.  Is what is owed to your children worth fighting for?

They have some fathers that go to jail for not paying child support. 

SamRn
by on Jun. 4, 2014 at 8:14 AM
Prime example I asked for 1/2 of kids school supplies- the school has a program which you can order in May and it will be in your child's desk in august. A measly 80 bucks is his part... He doesn't have it. My eldest wants to go to summer school to get some help for junior high. He asked if he could take it from the tuition money his mom gives me for my 3 girls. His mom contributes 1/2 tuition. No!!! It's unfair that I work hard / am always tired/ have these kids 70 percent and he get away with this. No job nothing for child support to get from him.
happynewyorker
by on Jun. 4, 2014 at 3:43 PM
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 SamRn, I hate to say this but Divorce isn't far.

I find it wrong that his mother is paying.  But, I have a family member that's mother had gotten into his divorce and helped her son.  Let's put it this way, she lost most of her retirement money because of it.

my mom said my dad was the same way, when they divorced over 40 years ago. my dad never worked and wanted my mom to give him alimony. 

I hear you, I really do.  I'd be lucky to get much from my X.  This year he didn't give me anything for March and April and for May I had to wait until the end of the month. He works, pays rent, owes the IRS and no other bills becaue he stopped paying them.  Yet, I have to ask for money every month.  Yet, when we moved out last August/September 2014, he needed money to move and I gave him about 2K and the never paid me for the July 2014 rent. He owes me 5K, and I can use that money to pay my bills and get my daughter into a sport.  He gives me about $400 a month.  I'd really like the money I let him borrow.  But, I know if I take him to court I won't get it.  Because it was based on word of mouth.

I'd say hire a lawyer go after him.  But, the cost would be great.  You can always have him put in jail, but you won't see the money.  You can have your children when turn 18 to sue dear ole dad.  

http://tomjameslaw.com/blog/adult-children-suing-parents-for-child-support-frivolous-lawsuit-or-logical-extension-of-the-law/

I found this: If a parent does not pay child support or is significantly late, he or she can be sued for contempt of court, have wages or tax refunds attached, or have his or her driver's license blocked. These actions should be handled by an experienced attorney.

I wish I can help you, but it seems that his mom is making things worse by having him live rent free.  How does he become responsible for himself?

Do you know or have you searched to see if he has any bank account. I know you said he doesn't work. I was wondering if you can subpoena various banks to see if he has any bank accounts.  Apparently, you can.  http://www.wikihow.com/Subpoena-Bank-Records

I just found this website.  it seems interesting and maybe can give you suggestions or advice?? http://www.wife.org/25waystodivorce.htm

Quoting SamRn: Prime example I asked for 1/2 of kids school supplies- the school has a program which you can order in May and it will be in your child's desk in august. A measly 80 bucks is his part... He doesn't have it. My eldest wants to go to summer school to get some help for junior high. He asked if he could take it from the tuition money his mom gives me for my 3 girls. His mom contributes 1/2 tuition. No!!! It's unfair that I work hard / am always tired/ have these kids 70 percent and he get away with this. No job nothing for child support to get from him.

 

Goobergal
by Silver Member on Jun. 5, 2014 at 9:18 AM
1 mom liked this

You will be living in court.  He's a deadbeat.  You will have the satisfaction of sitting in court hearing the judge call him a deadbeat but you'll never get money out of him.  Best you can do is have the judge make his pronouncement, raid any savings, which he will empty or never keep again, take taxes in perpetuity if he ever has to go to work, which means he will work under the table.  You won't get a dime out of him.  He's a turd.  


I would say I have a deadbeat too.  But he does the bare minimum. He doesn't pay the rest that he's been ordered like my daughters extra curricular activities or her school lunches.  And it's an act of pulling teeth to get what I'm owed in a reasonable time.  Do I want to live in court forever or make my kids live without what they were used to before, toughen up and move forward?  That's whatIve chosen.   We will have hardship, me for life, the kids thru college.  Builds character.  The karma train is coming for,him.  


Goo luck dear.  good bless you and the kids.  Really you are leaps and bounds ahead of many of us.  I think of private school and I chuckle.  I can afford one day attendance at private school.  LOL.  Mortgage, bah, he's ruined my credit. Amd truly people are worse off than me.  Perspective.  Do what you must but don't expect results.  Be pleased if you get some things. 

SamRn
by on Jun. 8, 2014 at 1:55 PM
Thank you ladies! Just as I figured go to court... Waste of time- in this system if he was making an income I could have his wages garnished. He has lawyer friends and I'm sure he was been well advised. Get a job - garnished wages- he doesn't want me to have that satisfaction.
So he rather not work or work under the table... And have his mommy rescue him. But now his mom is getting a bit offensive acting as if she is don't me a favor by paying 1/2 the kids tuition. NO!!!! I'm bit her charity case- this is for her grand kids -and balling out her dead beat son!!!
tottaxi
by Battle Weary on Jun. 8, 2014 at 4:19 PM

You aren't going directly to his mother for money, are you?  It is his responsibility to pay what he is supposed to...not hers.  And if HE needs to borrow the money from his mom, that, too, is his responsibility.

SamRn
by on Jun. 10, 2014 at 8:24 AM
Not going directly to his mother but he gives me a check monthly written by her for 1/2 the girls school tuition.

I'm exhausted of going to court - he scolded and ordered to pay and he doesn't
tottaxi
by Battle Weary on Jun. 10, 2014 at 8:48 AM

I think you have to act in a  cost effective manner.  He's not going to pay and it takes some judges a helluva long time to take tough action, so you have to let the amounts build up and then go back to court, let them build again and then go back to court.  Eventually the judge will get sick of his repeated behavior and do something meaningful.

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