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Divorce modification

Posted by on Aug. 10, 2014 at 8:59 PM
  • 4 Replies

I currently have shared joint custody of my two daughters, ages 3 and 6 with my ex husband. He lives across the country from us and has been absent for about a year. He pays child support, but only 8%...with alimony it is 13% /month for him and the statutory amount is 25%. 

He rarely calls, he has not made his 'promised' visit to the girls this summer. He is married again in the first year of divorce hood and they just had a baby. 

I hired a lawyer for modification. I want to get this resolved so we can move on with our lives. The court date is August 28th. I am trying for full-placement, a new parenting plan, and 25% for child support. 

I asked him in March already about the summer visit that was supposed to happen, but did not. My lawyer extended a letter to invite him to visit before school starts even. We haven't heard back. I almost cannot think he is even going to visit. I wonder if he will show up for court in this state or attend phone court?

Is it being too easy on him to ask for just full placement? Would anyone try for full custody if they were me? I am not sure. The man rarely calls the kids. He says he will, but it doesn't happen. 


Opinions please! Any advice on what I can expect at court would be helpful too. I think I will go shopping for the occasion. I am praying a lot will be resolved finally and wish Inwould have used one from day one. 

by on Aug. 10, 2014 at 8:59 PM
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Replies (1-4):
tottaxi
by Battle Weary on Aug. 10, 2014 at 10:37 PM

So you are wanting sole physical custody and keep joint legal?  That seems off to me.  You seem to have them physially the majority of the time anyway, so that should be easy to obtain.  You also need sole legal custody because he is absent.  IMO, if you are going to court for a new agreement then go for as much as possible.  You may not get everything you ask for, but I think if I were a judge and evaluated his past behavior in regards to being an active presence in their lives I would give you sole legal and physical custody. 

This is undoubtedly going to cost you a bundle, so make it worth your while.  With any luck, your ex will again be a no show and you will get everything you ask for by default.

chesswoman
by on Aug. 10, 2014 at 11:18 PM

Okay, thank you totaxi! You have been a great help to me over the past months. I appreciate your input and support. This has really been quite the year. I am learning to stand up for my rights and be stronger as a woman. I have not started dating yet. I start Nursing school in the fall. I will contact my lawyer this week to ask for his opinion about the matter. 

tottaxi
by Battle Weary on Aug. 11, 2014 at 8:55 AM

Don't worry about not dating yet.  I think it is very beneficial for a woman to have time to herself and know that while a man in her life might be fun or enhance it in some ways, it is NOT a NECESSITY.  When we know that we can function independently we are better able to avoid men who want someone who is totally dependent on them so that they have power and control.  We always have to be aware of men think of us as one of their possessions.  None of us need that kind of abuse.

Good luck in nursing school!  I know that is not an easy route, but once you complete your education there are so many doors open to you!!  And it is a career where you will be able to go anywhere and find employment...that is awesome!

chesswoman
by on Aug. 11, 2014 at 9:43 AM

Thank you! I will talk to my lawyer later today ...Wisconsin has an HPOG grant program for different health professions. I pray that it works out for us!

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