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hard

Posted by on Jan. 6, 2015 at 9:05 PM
  • 17 Replies

as much i know this is what i want it so hard to feel alone at times or at times i making a mistake it so werid being single again

by on Jan. 6, 2015 at 9:05 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Sam14223
by New Member on Jan. 6, 2015 at 9:24 PM

Hi, I'm seperated for six months.  Not having an easy time with this whole thing either.  I wouldn't want to go back but I thought I would be happier.  

tazmidgiefairy
by Member on Jan. 6, 2015 at 9:26 PM

 tell me about it

Quoting Sam14223:

Hi, I'm seperated for six months.  Not having an easy time with this whole thing either.  I wouldn't want to go back but I thought I would be happier.  

 

Fayanne
by Bronze Member on Jan. 6, 2015 at 10:08 PM
2 moms liked this

head down and plow through

you'll come out stronger and more confident as long as you learn to rely on yourself. If you rely on someone else for your strength, you'll end up right back where you are

it's a process. Allow yourself time to deal with all the emotions.. happy, sad, scared, angry, lonely, and grieving. Just don't go out and make stupid mistakes with other men while you are going through it all

Lindalou907
by Bronze Member on Jan. 7, 2015 at 6:37 AM

Check out "DivorceCare" meetings where you can get together with people who are going through the same feelings, it's very helpful!

Sam14223
by New Member on Jan. 7, 2015 at 9:54 AM

Thank You, I will check out that site.  I do not plan on making anymore stupid mistakes.  I've already hit my quota for a life time.  I can't even think of dating.  I will never say never but at least not now.

taylorsmom1987
by on Jan. 7, 2015 at 1:31 PM

Hang in there everything gets better with time

Goobergal
by Bronze Member on Jan. 8, 2015 at 8:36 AM
3 moms liked this

Oh it's the hardest thing ever.  I've been married longer than I was ever single.  And I hadn't really dated as an adult.  I felt like I had a phantom limb.  Then it felt like a spy because I had to keep everything hidden from him or he'd twist it to be something sinful rather than more benign than his cheating.  Friends didn't always make it easy, giving me reports on what he was doing, when what I needed to do was detach.  I finally realized that no matter how firmly I told people to quit giving me reports on him, I had to create the distance and space from him.  I had to accept my small bit of blame in the marriage and leave the rest w him.  It took a year of therapy before I could manage.

as for dating, I realized how stupid it is out there, how shallow people could be, how damaged so many people are age were and they carried way more baggage than me.  And I learned that sex and love were indeed two different things and I didn't need to be objectified if I didn't allow it and seriously, I started objectifying men.  Yeah it can be done.  It was great fun but thankfully I met the elusive good man.  LOL..... Life continues my dear.  In stages and thru stages, but you'll get there.  You'll be changed by it, you may dwell on it, reminisce and feel pain and blows even years later, but you also change in good ways, learn to persevere and to say NO.  


Go to therapy.  

KatUzumaki
by on Jan. 9, 2015 at 7:55 AM
Remember not to put expectations of how you think not hope to feel.

This process is hard. It's going to be full of ups and downs.

It's ok if you don't feel elated... You're learning an entirely new way to function. And "new" is difficult for any one.

Take it one day at a time and remember that you made your decision for a reason.

Even if you're not finding happiness now... Find strength. Strength is a driving force and you are showing it.

Chin up... It always gets better ;-)

Quoting tazmidgiefairy:

as much i know this is what i want it so hard to feel alone at times or at times i making a mistake it so werid being single again

Traveler4Life
by on Jan. 17, 2015 at 7:37 PM
Going through a separation and I'm afraid of being alone. I lived by myself for many years before getting married at 27 so I've been an independent woman before. But I'm now 41 and afraid of not having someone to grow old with or have someone by my side if I get sick or something. Just feeling very loney. I have two boys 10 and 8 so they keep me busy but I'm missing companionship.

Men have it so easy. X-husband has his girlfriend, no responsibilities, and just living the singles life. Ugh.....

2kidsntow
by Member on Jan. 18, 2015 at 8:02 AM
Having a really hard time also. Divorce was final a week ago Thursday. I feel Lost and alone. I have 4 kids that I love so much. They are 10, 7, 4, and 11 months old. I wish there is something I can do to bring him home. He is going threw a midlife crisis. He doesn't have a girlfriend. I have tried everything I can think of. This is shitty. He made a decision for 6 of us.
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