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Tired of this life

Posted by on Jan. 31, 2016 at 7:06 AM
  • 6 Replies
Sent asshat two emails about his Childs mental health. She's stressed and needs help. She needs socialization and activities. She needs to drive and a car. I needed a partner with some ideas.

I got crickets. She got a shitty email saying she can call him anytime. This little girl would like to see him. Not stay w him but see him and know he made an effort.

Well I get an email today about the most important issue in the world. Taxes. Asshole. He says he claims her because our son is an adult. Sure. Okay. Um no. He can't file as an adult with his financial aid. So no. You continue claiming him. Or I can go to court and change the pension and everything else then. As far as I know he pays the kids health and dental insurance. So no. You claim him too graduation.

Ugh. Hello. Your daughter. A plan. I'm tired of going it alone. She needs all kinds of doctors appts but I'm supposed to work. I finally found a therapist and I wanted to cry. Seriously cry because it's not 60-90 minutes of driving. Because it would have the multiple treatments she needs rather than TWO therapists w two appts plus her physical therapy and other health concerns.

Now I'm still crying looking at MY calendar with classes, an internship, due dates for papers, all her extras like games she needs to attend to do photos, Sunday school and such. Must be nice to be married and not have a single damn thing to do except pretend to be a nice husband and father. I hate him so much right now.
by on Jan. 31, 2016 at 7:06 AM
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by Member on Jan. 31, 2016 at 9:31 AM
Hugs. I completely understand my exdh is a Eow kind of dad and only makes public appearances. Meaning he will come to concerts and school stuff only to show face. He doesn't ask about homework nor take them to school or literally anything that has to do with the kids. It really pissed me off that he doesn't call them. Come on show you care. My 8 year old told me a few weeks ago that he thinks dad doesn't care about him. This was right after coming home from dads house. WTF!! All my kids think dad doesn't care and we have 4 kids.
by Battle Weary on Jan. 31, 2016 at 10:28 AM

The whole fact is that you ARE alone in this.  You always have been.  You always will be.  

I've read a lot of articles on "are divorced mothers really single parents"  and most of them end up saying that no, they aren't single parents because there is another parent helping.  Yeah, right.  There are single fathers in the same position with the mother being the NCP and uninvolved.  Gender isn't so much the factor as the dynamics of the parents in the situation.  My ex gets to pick and choose when and what he wants to be involved in.  Just this weekend DS is with his dad for the regular eowe schedule.  Ex brought DS to his basketball game yesterday, but is NOT going to take him to his other extra curricular activity today.  Why not? I asked.  He just doesn't want to.  Even though he is court ordered to have him at ALL ec activities he is choosing not to go today.  Do I spend 3K to file a contempt charge against him?

Parenting isn't always at the convenience of the parents involved.  It takes sacrifice.  It pisses me off when only ONE parent is willing to do whatever it takes for their children and the other just shows up for photo ops.

by Bronze Member on Jan. 31, 2016 at 10:51 AM


take a deep breath...

 this phase of life doesn't last forever. The part that really sucks is, so much of what happens now affects the future, and that kind of stress is unbearable, if you let it get to you.

I have tried really really hard to adopt the "everything happens for a reason" philosophy... but my kids are a bit older than yours, too

hugs again

by Silver Member on Feb. 2, 2016 at 9:32 AM
Y'all are so right. It just got to me. This is the first week on my field placement and knowing I'm failing at this mom and student thing drives me nuts. She's bored and bored makes depressed. Me not there means no one to take her places. He won't buy a car and do insurance. I already helped my son w that and I pay insurance. I can't do it for her too. I'm too invested in school financially and I have to finish now.

Actually waiting on my placement to start right now. I squeezed in mammogram yesterday and Friday will be her physical therapy. Throw in two days of placement, one whole day of class and another half day of class plus reading, assignments and homework. I don't know when I cook dinner. Yesterday was crock pot ham because I had to work and get boob smash. Lol. I need to find dump recipes and get my daughter involved
by Battle Weary on Feb. 2, 2016 at 10:30 AM
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If your daughter is old enough to drive then she is old enough to help you.  Make her part of the process by planning the week's menu with her and figuring out the grocery list.  There's no reason she can't cook and clean, etc..  She won't have time to be bored.

I do crock pot meals all the time.  With working full time and having kids with homework and ecs there isn't much time for anything. Knowing dinner is pretty much ready and waiting is a real relief!  

You have adult size people in your home.  You don't have to do everything yourself.  You are working towards bettering your future and theirs.  They need to pitch in.

by Silver Member on Feb. 2, 2016 at 6:56 PM
You're so right totaxi. I've let her off the hook since I get she's in gifted and AP classes trying to maintain a 4.0. But she can do some slow cooker meals even every other day. The other one makes messes and doesn't clean up. That's the step. He's sweet but lazy.

I think slow cooker dump recipes when I have time to sit her down. She's not quite old enough to drive but soon. I think this fall she COULD start if asshat would pay.

I'm tired right now and it was the first day
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