Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Settlement agreement

Posted by on Jun. 11, 2016 at 5:32 PM
  • 20 Replies
Has anybody dealt with not just their ex but their ex's attorney claiming that they will be sending over their proposal, but not?

This has been the case for months and recently the ex's attorney told mine that we would have it all by the 31st of May at the latest....but here it is June 11th and we have nothing from them even with repeatedly following up from my attorney.


Aside from a couple changes that were made/agreed to a few months ago, everything has been agreed to for almost a year. I just don't get why it is so hard to sign the document. (Now because of this my attorney is talking about trying to force them to mediation..)
by on Jun. 11, 2016 at 5:32 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
tottaxi
by Battle Weary on Jun. 11, 2016 at 7:13 PM

I think this happens frequently.  I think they want you to get frustrated and make a proposal of your own.  Then once you show your cards they will counter.  Attorneys do this to get more money from you.  If you have already settled and just waiting for the paperwork you have to look at what delaying will accomplish.

My ex did this.  Custody had been resolved over two years before, so in some ways his delays helped me because I had to be carried on his insurance until the divorce was finalized.  If that is the case with you, take advantage of that situation.

Sometimes it is in hopes of getting a new judge.

Just try to figure out how he is benefiting and you'll have your answer.

talktojonell
by on Jun. 11, 2016 at 7:15 PM
They're running up your costs. It's pretty common. Sadly.
bettletimes
by Member on Jun. 11, 2016 at 7:26 PM
2 years?!!!! How did you last?


Since we already came to an agreement, I just don't get what delaying would do for either side. (he and I have been over with for over 5 1/2 years and he supposedly has proposed to his new girlfriend so I don't get this delay)

I guess for me if it was just my ex saying that we would have papers by a certain date to me, I wouldn't really be surprised by the lack of papers, but since it is his attorney telling my attorney this, I am surprised. (I guess I just assumed lawyers wouldn't lead each other on about a signed document)

Quoting tottaxi:

I think this happens frequently.  I think they want you to get frustrated and make a proposal of your own.  Then once you show your cards they will counter.  Attorneys do this to get more money from you.  If you have already settled and just waiting for the paperwork you have to look at what delaying will accomplish.

My ex did this.  Custody had been resolved over two years before, so in some ways his delays helped me because I had to be carried on his insurance until the divorce was finalized.  If that is the case with you, take advantage of that situation.

Sometimes it is in hopes of getting a new judge.

Just try to figure out how he is benefiting and you'll have your answer.

bettletimes
by Member on Jun. 11, 2016 at 7:28 PM
It's always about money it seems. Bleh (I have come up with so much money for legal fees this past almost year than I ever thought was possible)

Quoting talktojonell: They're running up your costs. It's pretty common. Sadly.
tottaxi
by Battle Weary on Jun. 11, 2016 at 9:39 PM

Lol.  It was almost three years in total.  

What's your level of communication with your ex?  If you are amicable, you could ask him if he knows what the hold up is.  If his attorney is the one drawing up the papers then he's in the best position to get his attorney off his ass.  Tell him to ask for a final hearing date.

Quoting bettletimes: 2 years?!!!! How did you last? Since we already came to an agreement, I just don't get what delaying would do for either side. (he and I have been over with for over 5 1/2 years and he supposedly has proposed to his new girlfriend so I don't get this delay) I guess for me if it was just my ex saying that we would have papers by a certain date to me, I wouldn't really be surprised by the lack of papers, but since it is his attorney telling my attorney this, I am surprised. (I guess I just assumed lawyers wouldn't lead each other on about a signed document)
Quoting tottaxi:

I think this happens frequently.  I think they want you to get frustrated and make a proposal of your own.  Then once you show your cards they will counter.  Attorneys do this to get more money from you.  If you have already settled and just waiting for the paperwork you have to look at what delaying will accomplish.

My ex did this.  Custody had been resolved over two years before, so in some ways his delays helped me because I had to be carried on his insurance until the divorce was finalized.  If that is the case with you, take advantage of that situation.

Sometimes it is in hopes of getting a new judge.

Just try to figure out how he is benefiting and you'll have your answer.


bettletimes
by Member on Jun. 11, 2016 at 10:11 PM
Wow!


Um our communication depends on his mood. Mostly now he outright ignores everything (including contact from DS) unless he either wants to make himself look great to someone near him at that time or unless he needs something.

And actually my attorney drew up the papers.

I wasn't aware that a final hearing needs to be set. It was explained to me in August last year that one of the attorneys would just go to the courthouse and give the judge the papers

Quoting tottaxi:

Lol.  It was almost three years in total.  

What's your level of communication with your ex?  If you are amicable, you could ask him if he knows what the hold up is.  If his attorney is the one drawing up the papers then he's in the best position to get his attorney off his ass.  Tell him to ask for a final hearing date.

Quoting bettletimes: 2 years?!!!! How did you last?


Since we already came to an agreement, I just don't get what delaying would do for either side. (he and I have been over with for over 5 1/2 years and he supposedly has proposed to his new girlfriend so I don't get this delay)

I guess for me if it was just my ex saying that we would have papers by a certain date to me, I wouldn't really be surprised by the lack of papers, but since it is his attorney telling my attorney this, I am surprised. (I guess I just assumed lawyers wouldn't lead each other on about a signed document)

Quoting tottaxi:

I think this happens frequently.  I think they want you to get frustrated and make a proposal of your own.  Then once you show your cards they will counter.  Attorneys do this to get more money from you.  If you have already settled and just waiting for the paperwork you have to look at what delaying will accomplish.

My ex did this.  Custody had been resolved over two years before, so in some ways his delays helped me because I had to be carried on his insurance until the divorce was finalized.  If that is the case with you, take advantage of that situation.

Sometimes it is in hopes of getting a new judge.

Just try to figure out how he is benefiting and you'll have your answer.

StillKyliesMom
by Member on Jun. 11, 2016 at 11:46 PM
They will take them and file them with the court but the judge has to review them and from what I have been told (my hearing is next month) they will ask you a bunch of questions about your marriage etc. Idk the rest yet, that's just what I have been told by people here that have gone through it

Quoting bettletimes: Wow!


Um our communication depends on his mood. Mostly now he outright ignores everything (including contact from DS) unless he either wants to make himself look great to someone near him at that time or unless he needs something.

And actually my attorney drew up the papers.

I wasn't aware that a final hearing needs to be set. It was explained to me in August last year that one of the attorneys would just go to the courthouse and give the judge the papers

Quoting tottaxi:

Lol.  It was almost three years in total.  

What's your level of communication with your ex?  If you are amicable, you could ask him if he knows what the hold up is.  If his attorney is the one drawing up the papers then he's in the best position to get his attorney off his ass.  Tell him to ask for a final hearing date.

Quoting bettletimes: 2 years?!!!! How did you last?


Since we already came to an agreement, I just don't get what delaying would do for either side. (he and I have been over with for over 5 1/2 years and he supposedly has proposed to his new girlfriend so I don't get this delay)

I guess for me if it was just my ex saying that we would have papers by a certain date to me, I wouldn't really be surprised by the lack of papers, but since it is his attorney telling my attorney this, I am surprised. (I guess I just assumed lawyers wouldn't lead each other on about a signed document)

Quoting tottaxi:

I think this happens frequently.  I think they want you to get frustrated and make a proposal of your own.  Then once you show your cards they will counter.  Attorneys do this to get more money from you.  If you have already settled and just waiting for the paperwork you have to look at what delaying will accomplish.

My ex did this.  Custody had been resolved over two years before, so in some ways his delays helped me because I had to be carried on his insurance until the divorce was finalized.  If that is the case with you, take advantage of that situation.

Sometimes it is in hopes of getting a new judge.

Just try to figure out how he is benefiting and you'll have your answer.

STBSingleMom
by Bronze Member on Jun. 11, 2016 at 11:51 PM
Every email they write they bill for. Tottaxi is right - they drag it out as long as possible. I remember after we settled my divorce, my ex's lawyer kept filing paperwork that she told ex was "standard" to keep billing. My lawyer told me (in front of ex) that once the settlement is signed it's over - she billed him and extra $4500 - believe me - the lawyers some of these guys drum up are completely insane.

Quoting bettletimes: 2 years?!!!! How did you last?


Since we already came to an agreement, I just don't get what delaying would do for either side. (he and I have been over with for over 5 1/2 years and he supposedly has proposed to his new girlfriend so I don't get this delay)

I guess for me if it was just my ex saying that we would have papers by a certain date to me, I wouldn't really be surprised by the lack of papers, but since it is his attorney telling my attorney this, I am surprised. (I guess I just assumed lawyers wouldn't lead each other on about a signed document)

Quoting tottaxi:

I think this happens frequently.  I think they want you to get frustrated and make a proposal of your own.  Then once you show your cards they will counter.  Attorneys do this to get more money from you.  If you have already settled and just waiting for the paperwork you have to look at what delaying will accomplish.

My ex did this.  Custody had been resolved over two years before, so in some ways his delays helped me because I had to be carried on his insurance until the divorce was finalized.  If that is the case with you, take advantage of that situation.

Sometimes it is in hopes of getting a new judge.

Just try to figure out how he is benefiting and you'll have your answer.

Jazzylady1
by on Jun. 11, 2016 at 11:57 PM
It use to be you could your ex for ALL the attorney fees, don't know how it is done now.
tottaxi
by Battle Weary on Jun. 12, 2016 at 1:10 PM

Are you paid in full with your attorney?  If you have a balance due the odds are he will not ask for a final hearing until you are paid up.

Call your attorney and say "You drew up the papers.  Have you asked for a hearing date and when will that be?  And then ask for a final bill.  Pay that and you will probably be done pretty quickly.

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)