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Am I over reacting???

Posted by on Oct. 27, 2016 at 10:16 PM
  • 3 Replies
I've been talking to this guy for a while now.
Since he's in a different state a few hours away
We have been talking through text, calls and FaceTime, with visits as our schedule allows. He's an MD in a residency program and I'm a nurse
In our home state. I've known him a good decade. I know it makes me sound super obsessive but all day yesterday and today I haven't heard from him. We usually talk all day through text and FaceTime when we get off work. The messages I've sent him are shown as delivered but he hasn't read any of mine today. I'm just really confused and a little worried. He's the first one I've opened my heart to since my divorce and I'm really struggling here with not letting my crazy thoughts take hold
by on Oct. 27, 2016 at 10:16 PM
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Replies (1-3):
tottaxi
by Battle Weary on Oct. 28, 2016 at 10:19 AM

When I read your post the first thought that hit me was how strange it is that you are able to have that much communication with a guy in his residency.  Usually people in that position barely have time to eat or sleep, let alone spend that much time texting and doing face time.

Maybe it would help to limit your contact just out of practicality.  I would feel overwhelmed if I had to expend that much effort in any relationship.  Most people who work don't have the luxury of being on their phone at all, let alone THAT much.  I would feel smothered if I was expected to be in that much contact with anyone.

Dial it back and set up ONE specific time each day.  Have a life outside of this guy.  Never make anyone your sole focus.

Goobergal
by Bronze Member on Oct. 28, 2016 at 6:45 PM

AGain, what totaxi said.  I felt awful for my goob.  I needed to be in constant contact with him.  I had a hard time when we began living with each other and I wasnt his everything.  I thing some of that was living w a narcissist who created a weird insulated world that was all encompassing, mainly for him and his needs.


Pull back some and make a life for you.  Men hate needy, unless they themselves have emotional needs

Fayanne
by Bronze Member on Oct. 30, 2016 at 2:55 PM

you got plenty of responses to this question in at least one other group.

Dial it back. Fill your time with other things. Make yourself selectively unavailable, and let him be the one wondering for a while.

You seem to be pleasing a lot of neediness in a relationship that you've basically only been 'talking to'.

Find other things to do. Keep your options open.

In a nutshell, yes, you are overreacting.

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