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Here's the plan ......

Posted by on Dec. 14, 2017 at 6:28 AM
  • 18 Replies
My business just sold one of the flip houses and a house is coming onto the market as a foreclosure.

The house needs a LOT of help, but it is livable. They are asking $45k, but I think they will take $35k and it will need $20k in repairs. It's a 3 bedroom, 2 bathroom house on 1 acre. I love the land it is on in the middle of the country. All the houses around it that have been repaired are selling for $120k.

So here is the plan ..... My business partner offered to buy the house with his money and place the deed entirely in his name. I will be fixing it up with him under the guise of the business. So in appearance it will look like another business flip. On paper it will be my business partner's residence and I am just helping him fix it.

Then I will use the house I am in now as a power play in the divorce. He WANTS it because he thinks it will hurt me. I will pretend to be extremely upset to lose it (I am a little, I put a lot of work into it) and give it up in exchange for him having no claim in the business or my cash reserves (he blew all his as soon as we seperated and is now in financial freefall). Otherwise I will push for the marital house to be sold and the money split. If he agrees, I will sign a quit deed and he can sell it for the cash or keep it (right now he lives with his parents).

He will get a kick out of the idea of the kids and I going to an apartment (that's what we will let him believe) while he keeps the 3000 sq ft house.

Then once the divorce is finished, my business partner will sell me the house for the purchase and repair price. Which is well within my cash reserves.

From that point on my bills will be $750 (including my car payment which I will probably just payoff, reducing my bills to $550) a month. They are currently $3000.

Do you think it will work against the narcissist?
by on Dec. 14, 2017 at 6:28 AM
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Replies (1-10):
HaloSue
by on Dec. 14, 2017 at 6:51 AM
Possibly. I'm more worried about the business partner not holding up his end of the deal when all is completely done and with him not honoring the plan.
You need to have something in writing giving you the forclosure once it's done ready to move in and you're divorced.
A quick claim done in a safe deposit box somewhere?
I realize its your partner but Millions of partnership are dissolved over a lot less, believe me.
That's why I would never have a partner again. I did at one time but not for long.lol
I prefer to do it alone or with one of my adult children or a couple of them.
My sister still runs my first Business for over 45 years now.
I'm the owner and CEO. She will inherit it someday.
Just beware... please.
JoGibson
by Member on Dec. 14, 2017 at 7:25 AM
There will be a contract and signed quick claim before I do anything.

I do trust him, but great contracts make excellent partnerships:)


Quoting HaloSue: Possibly. I'm more worried about the business partner not holding up his end of the deal when all is completely done and with him not honoring the plan.
You need to have something in writing giving you the forclosure once it's done ready to move in and you're divorced.
A quick claim done in a safe deposit box somewhere?
I realize its your partner but Millions of partnership are dissolved over a lot less, believe me.
That's why I would never have a partner again. I did at one time but not for long.lol
I prefer to do it alone or with one of my adult children or a couple of them.
My sister still runs my first Business for over 45 years now.
I'm the owner and CEO. She will inherit it someday.
Just beware... please.
HaloSue
by on Dec. 14, 2017 at 7:42 AM
Then it sounds great for you and your children!!
I pray it works out in your favor!! Good Luck!

Quoting JoGibson: There will be a contract and signed quick claim before I do anything.

I do trust him, but great contracts make excellent partnerships:)


Quoting HaloSue: Possibly. I'm more worried about the business partner not holding up his end of the deal when all is completely done and with him not honoring the plan.
You need to have something in writing giving you the forclosure once it's done ready to move in and you're divorced.
A quick claim done in a safe deposit box somewhere?
I realize its your partner but Millions of partnership are dissolved over a lot less, believe me.
That's why I would never have a partner again. I did at one time but not for long.lol
I prefer to do it alone or with one of my adult children or a couple of them.
My sister still runs my first Business for over 45 years now.
I'm the owner and CEO. She will inherit it someday.
Just beware... please.
tottaxi
by Battle Weary on Dec. 14, 2017 at 8:43 AM
1 mom liked this

Do you know for sure that your stbx would have any claim on any part of the business and cash reserves?  If he does and you are able to use your home as a bargaining chip, then it sounds like a good plan.  If he doesn't have any claim on them then don't short yourself by walking away from your marital home.  Sell it and take your fair share.

NOTHING will ever satisfy a narcissist  except winning.  Losing or perceiving themselves as having come up on the short end will make them even more combative, so there is never any way to stop what they see as a competition for power.  Just do what you need to do to protect yourself.  You seem to be a detail-oriented person, so I think you will be fine as long as you create a divorce and custody plan that covers your ass and has no ambiguities.  I know you are trusting of your partner and that may be just fine, but never let down your guard.  If someone is being straight with you and acting in your best interests then they won't object to offering you legal reassurances.  Only if their agenda isn't as pure hearted as it is being presented will there be any objections.

Throughout this process and beyond make sure you are communicating with stbx in writing only or confirming oral communications with written back up affirmations.  Try to limit your communication to concerns regarding the children only.  Once you file be sure that everything goes through your attorney.  Everything has to be done properly so that you don't end up making moves that hurt your case going forward.

JoGibson
by Member on Dec. 14, 2017 at 9:08 AM
The cash reserves, yes. I built those up and built his up while we were married and lived together. I was a financial advisor and worked tirelessly to build it.

We were not living in the same residence for a year when I began the business, but not legally seperated. He paid me support, but there was no order. I used an inheritance to begin the business.

He is a textbook narcissist, so that's why I think his perception of "winning" will back him off fast.

As far as custody goes, he doesn't want it. He is willing to just pay support, but does not want to pay alimony. That's a point of contention because he forced me to leave jobs and work part time so he could build his career. The first year divorced may be rough, but by year two/three (if my business continues to grow as it has) I will be worth more than him easily. I'm trying to hide growth now under a pile of bills. On paper it looks BAD. In reality, the business is set to take off. I am thinking I would cut the period of alimony in half to further make him feel like he won. I just want this done.

As far as my partner goes, he is completely willing to place everything in writing and contracts. That's how we handle the business too, everything above board and in writing.

He sees it as paying it forward because so many helped him get on his feet and head in a positive direction after his divorce years ago that left him financially crippled.

And he saw what my ex was doing to me over a period of 5 years, he wants the kids and I out for our own safety and sanity.


Quoting tottaxi:

Do you know for sure that your stbx would have any claim on any part of the business and cash reserves?  If he does and you are able to use your home as a bargaining chip, then it sounds like a good plan.  If he doesn't have any claim on them then don't short yourself by walking away from your marital home.  Sell it and take your fair share.

NOTHING will ever satisfy a narcissist  except winning.  Losing or perceiving themselves as having come up on the short end will make them even more combative, so there is never any way to stop what they see as a competition for power.  Just do what you need to do to protect yourself.  You seem to be a detail-oriented person, so I think you will be fine as long as you create a divorce and custody plan that covers your ass and has no ambiguities.  I know you are trusting of your partner and that may be just fine, but never let down your guard.  If someone is being straight with you and acting in your best interests then they won't object to offering you legal reassurances.  Only if their agenda isn't as pure hearted as it is being presented will there be any objections.

Throughout this process and beyond make sure you are communicating with stbx in writing only or confirming oral communications with written back up affirmations.  Try to limit your communication to concerns regarding the children only.  Once you file be sure that everything goes through your attorney.  Everything has to be done properly so that you don't end up making moves that hurt your case going forward.

karene999
by Member on Dec. 14, 2017 at 11:58 AM

Sounds perfect to me....

Oliviasmom72
by Member on Dec. 14, 2017 at 12:17 PM

Sounds great! You are a smart lady.

Fayanne
by Bronze Member on Dec. 14, 2017 at 4:38 PM

eh... I'm not convinced. I'll have to come back again later and reread this

tottaxi
by Battle Weary on Dec. 14, 2017 at 9:50 PM
1 mom liked this

I know you want this over with fast, but don't give away the farm just to have it over with.

Once you talk with the attorney and she helps you determine what you are entitled to (alimony and child support), the division of assets and whether or not the business is a factor then you'll know where you stand.

My recommendation is to go in asking for everything that is rightfully and legally yours.  Don't give an inch until a judge determines otherwise.  For one thing, just because he is ordered to pay child support and alimony it doesn't mean he will pay it, so to give away other assets...like your portion of the home...that is money that is real and not just promised...would be foolish.  A bird in the hand...

Ask that you be allowed to keep a life insurance policy on him.  That will at least insure that you will get something one way or the other and that will help you provide for your children and especially your son long term.

He may not want custody, but that doesn't mean he won't try to insist on shared custody just so that he doesn't have to pay child support or to jack with you.

As teens their voice may be more powerful, but not automatically.  One thing, though, is that no one can force a teenager to do something that they refuse to do.  It's not like he can strap them into a car seat and take off.

Please don't get in a hurry to have this over and end up "cutting off your nose to spite your face".  You've waited this long so a little longer won't hurt and if it puts you in a better position financially it is to your advantage.

In the process of the divorce you will be required to give financial disclosures regularly and so will he.  Keep good records of every dime.

Fayanne
by Bronze Member on Dec. 15, 2017 at 5:14 AM
1 mom liked this

I would file for exclusive use of the house, and keep it while the divorce decisions play out. Don't offer to give up anything you aren't entitled to keep.

No quit claim deed.

Once the divorce is final, and you've negotiated for it however you choose, then buy the flipped house if it's still available.  

The divorce will likely take months, if not years, to negotiate. Your cash and your share of your business are both marital assets, and will likely cause your divorce to drag out for quite some time. Even your inheiritance may not be purely yours any more. A forensic accountant isn't cheap, but they're pretty easy to find and hire, and if your ex's lawyer has half a brain, they'll get one and subpoena everything.

I wouldn't use underhandedness as a tactic.


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