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Tax and other questions

Posted by on Feb. 12, 2018 at 1:34 AM
  • 2 Replies
So it’s in divorce papers (not finalized yet) that we have to file this year together and I’ve made an appointment twice to get them done and he has bailed both times so this last time I left my info and w2 with lady and she said he could come by and bring his later and she would do them and call us when the time comes to sign everything and that we could come at separate times that way we didn’t have to be near each other which is fine with me.. we have to split money .. I fell ill about 2 months ago and having to have surgery soon and need the extra money to help where I will be out of work for a little while .. I have pushed back once so far to have the surgery and the doctor says he’s afraid to wait much longer and that it needs to be done .He knows this and now here’s the kicker .. he picked our DD up this weekend and called me back to his vehicle and said that his moms rings were gone and that he would not piss on me if I was on fire .. in front of of our DD and my other DD from a previous relationship.. we have not lived together since November 4th 2017. A little insight he has accused me of stealing stuff since last month. I have no clue what has happened to his stuff but I’m getting the blame. He’s also accused me of scratching his Jeep said it $4000 worth of damage.. again I have no clue except he hangs around 20 year old kids and goes 4 wheeling with them all the time. Anyway I think he’s doing this thinking I’ll feel bad and just tell him to keep the money which there is no chance in that happening .. what is the worse that could happen if I got my stuff back and filed myself even though it is there that we file together this year? Fun fact: he took me off insurance in January when he signed a piece paper saying he couldn’t until it was finalized and then after that date I had 30 days to find my own.. so if they held me in contempt for filing taxes like that could they not also him for doing that? I’m sorry this is so long but my last question is our DD together has cried and cried a few times not wanting to go to her dads and I mean fits and everything I finally calm her and she goes but by the time I’m dropping her off she’s in tears pleading with me not to make her.. it rips my heart out when she does this.. I was talking to a friend that has had dealings with dcs and she told me that as long as the kid says she don’t want to go that I didn’t have to make her.. she said I couldn’t tell her she’s not going that she had to be the one to say she didn’t want to go.. is there anything to this statement? Or could I get in trouble? .. she don’t want to go because sometimes she gets scared because I’m not there and that he ignores her all the time.. she’s told me at one point she’s cried for me at night and him and his 14 year old daughter both told her to shut up. I’ve tried to build her up and that things will get better but I’m not sure if they will anymore.
by on Feb. 12, 2018 at 1:34 AM
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tottaxi
by Battle Weary on Feb. 12, 2018 at 9:02 AM

All things considered I think that you are probably right to go ahead and file.  Just make sure that you do not spend half of the return.  Your divorce papers are not final, so you aren't really in contempt of anything.  He's already made a major mistake with taking you off of his insurance prematurely, so I don't see that you have anything to lose.

All of the accusations of stealing seem pretty paranoid.  Is he doing drugs?  Maybe his young associates are ripping him off.

For your daughter not wanting to go...Your friend is right.  Your job is to facilitate the relationship which means you have to have her ready and available to go.  When he comes to pick her up then SHE must refuse him.  He can call the police, but since this is a civil matter and not criminal, then they will advise him that they can not force her to go and that if he wishes to pursue this then he needs to file contempt charges.  He may do that and you will probably be scolded.  

If it were me, I'd get your children and especially the daughter that you share counseling. It is always good to have an objective third party aware of what is going on.  They can help your DD work through her fears and anxiety and also deal with your stbx directly and put him on notice that her feelings DO matter.

I should also add that your DD not wanting to go for visitation is something that most of us with children have had to deal with.  My son is ten and we separated when he was just two and he has NEVER wanted to go.  Instead of getting better it is actually getting worse.  But DS has never had the courage to speak up and tell his dad how he feels.  Until he is capable of expressing his feelings to his dad then there is nothing that I can do to address the situation.  He doesn't want to "make dad mad."  Having been married to his dad and suffered his physical and emotional abuse first hand, I understand where he is coming from.

cie
by Member on Feb. 15, 2018 at 1:03 AM

I have heard that the courts do not get involved with the IRS,,and the IRS does not care about your divorce. I have also read posts from women here who never got there 50% cut and it wasn't worth the court fees to even try to retrieve so with that being said I filed single and claimed both kids. He is going to lose his mind when he finds out but he cut me off from all money..every thin dime . I do not have a court order saying anything but to tell you the truth if your situation was mine I would do it. Better to ask for forgiveness then beg for permission.

Good luck to you he sounds like an ass and you need to take care of you!! ❤️👊

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