Hello all, My name is Erica and I have been a loving step-mom to two kids for 3 years now. My boy is 12 and my girl is 14. I am from Canada and relocated to the US. My children's biological mother is a drug/sex addict and has been out of prison for 5 months now. Due to this unfortunate situation I have found that I have been the only real mother these kids have ever had. My husband has had sole custody of the kids since they were quite small due to the mothers meth addiction and the neglect it caused. My daughter is the biological child of my husband and said mother however.. my son is the biological child of said mother and another man who abandoned him shortly after he was born. When she got caught using meth with my son (a baby) in the back seat they also found that my daughter was back at the mothers home with a convicted felon who was also found to be in possesion/creating meth. The police took both of the kids and when they asked her if there was any other family ie:fathers in picture to take the children, she had lied and said there wasn't forcing the police to put the children in foster care. My husband had to spend almost 2 years to fight to get custody of his daughter and at long last he finally won. On the day that he was granted custody they informed him that noone had come forward to take Tanner and they asked if there would be any way that he could. My husband without hesitation stepped up and took custody of Tanner and has been raising him as his own ever since.
I have tried to befriend their mother, council her, offer her advice on how to be a better mother. I gave her a makeover and half the clothes in my closet. I have cooked her dinner and babysat her other children for her. I have tried to keep her involved by making schedules of kids sports etc. Not to mention, I have been there for her kids and all that they have been put through. The problem is that she is still an addict, she isnt using meth but is using other drugs and as im sure many of you know ... addicts are amoung the most selfish people on the planet and because she always puts herself first a this repeatedly is causing my kids intense emotional pain. Especially my son. She refuses to step up and be a mom to these kids she instead has become abusive to me because I AM being a mom to these kids. In addition she has now drug both the children into inappropriate conversations leaving the kids confused and upset. She basically has tried to drill it into these kids heads (especially Tanner) that we arent their real parents or thier real family and that she is all they have yet she has done nothing to get a job or a house or a life and everyday that she spends drinking and doing drugs is a day that these kids feel rejected. I'm sorry for the long post. I'm just emotional and drained and wondering if there are any other step-moms dealing with same situation.